random_text.txt

[Stan]

Cats are not furry

 

[Vott]

 

[WelperHelper99]

do i get to choose whose?
if its an unlabeled keg of communal semen idk if i could get through more than like- 2 cups?
if its someone im partnered with then idrc

 

[Hitman One]

I want everyone to mentally prepare themselves to witness Russell Greer on CNN sobbing about how those mean Kiwis cost him his chance with Taylor Swift while the anchor agrees uncritically.

 

[SneedEyeMitch the 2nd]

Good one for random.txt

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

shut up faggot

Make me

ugly nigga

Suck my dick

faggot

Shit-eater

Yes, this is all from the same thread.

 

[Vott]

 

[Yamamura]

It's usually not great for guys who like to tug on their penises, but sometimes it works really well for that because the penis can move separately from the body. (Not talking about masturbators, just the guys who like to grab their penis now and then for luck

 

[8mm Cunningham]

why would I LIE ONLINE?

 

[Skitarii]

i would pay the royal philharmonic orchestra to play the living tombstone FNaF 2 song then hire a PMC to kill liz-fong jones

The Hulkster is immunized against all dangers: One may call him a troll, libtard, baby killing abortion advocate, vaxxie, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a boomer and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: "I’ve been found out"

 

[Useful_Mistake]

-Jersh accidentally spills BIG BLACK DICK on it
-Now we're back in the stone age.

 

[Kalsarikännit]

I'll always be more Jewish than lonely

 

[Gentlebastard]

Its like when your elderly aunt hears about memes and tries to show you one, but she only half remembers it and makes up the rest.

Those nursing home days were wild.

Glancing up into a random security mirror and seeing Taylor Lorenz in the reflection, standing stock-stiff and gazing unblinkingly back at you with her dead eyes, would be an excellent premise for a short horror film.

HATS! GIVE ME MY HATS, I SAY. I WANT THEM ALL!

"They say if you say 'Taylor Lorenz' in a mirror three times, she'll appear in your parents' shop and show them your social media history"

"I'm one of those actual real life retards who needs to be spoonfed the 'truth'"

half your class thinks algebra is a dead rapper

Tale as old as time ♡ True as it can be

"My gf and I opened our relationship and I'm starting to regret it bc she's bringing home dudes every weekend. There's one in particular that comes a lot. And I'm not getting anyone. Sometimes I have to wait outside our room till she's done"

Tale as old as time ♡ True as it can be

Why would you brag that you don't wear underwear? It's like the North Korean propaganda where they teach everybody that the Dear Leader never poops or sleeps.

"We're good friends and you have a vagina, so surely the next step is fucking."

I'm not familiar with dealing with people so fat they can't fucking breathe properly. It also probably doesn't help that his lungs are partially full of barbecue sauce.

I know he's incredibly lazy on a regular basis but this feels like a whole new sub basement of lazy.

Have they stopped teaching kids how to cross a road properly and to look both ways? Is that considered racist or something?

I say increasing pedestrian deaths are a good thing.

Too many have forgotten the healthy respect they should have for things that can enforce mortality upon them in a second, and learn to act accordingly.

Sometimes evolution is the result of a change of food supply, sometimes it's the result of a new virus, and sometimes it's a Mack truck.

I mean it'd be pretty weird if, of the myriad of things Canada could criticize us for, they decided to censure us for not being "gay enough" or something.

Ban this, ban that, for fuck's sake, can we just accept some people are retards that will get others and themselves killed ?

Always have receipts. Even if said receipts are the charred corpses of dead children.

Did she ask her hair for consent before making it look like a clown toupée?

Not a day goes by that don't find myself wishing Perez Hilton would be publicly drawn and quartered for kicking of the journo-blogger age.

I think the real question is why are you watching someone review cans of mustard, you madman.

They say the last thing you hear before you die is "It's not doxing, it's journalism!"

I never thought about it much, but I always presumed if two gay guys had sex they'd more or less take turns, who puts his penis in the butt and who takes the penis in the butt, but is that not true? At a bathhouse, would there be a ten times longer reception line than insertion line?

Shoutout to this tranny dyke faggot who can only be called a tranny dyke faggot if you’re friends with this tranny dyke faggot.

Broken bones will mend, but cutting your dick off is forever.

He's like 15% moob, how

I also believe that if someone tried to deliver an Amazon Catalog to my residence I'd chase them away with a stick. I'll tell you what I need when I need it Amazon, don't get uppity.

But honestly you aren't in the doc business for money, you're in it to get your dick sucked when you make the next Kony.

Sometimes, you find something so haram in the wild you have to put it here.

You know the one redeeming thing is Tammy hates Jack so much she will upload the episode where he strokes out and dies on an Arby's unwashed floor.

"Testo-butch nonwoman boydyke who is also a gay man for the right person"

Jesus Christ, what is this faggotry?

 

[Poonocchio]

The TV is mounted way too fucking high on that wall. I hope one of his fetishes is having neck ache

 

[Stan]

I'm talking feminist space colonies with 25 tubes of diverse Chad sperm.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

"I'm still alive and my whole pot of spaghetti is gone."

 

[Sawamura Simp]

I actually think you both make good points. I get the feeling it’s a mix of both. He’s a seething jealous loser and an opportunistic faggot.

"I didn't wrote" - professional writer.

Can a man not die of Cancer AIDS peacefully without faggot crying for him to get involved in their gay drama

Edit; I'm retarded

I scoured through terrorbytes of livestreams to bring you these spooky stories

 

[Aunt Carol]

I used to get stupid mad if the noodles weren't swimming in sauce. But those are the thoughts of a child.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Some years ago a woman held her baby in her arms and dreamed up the possible future lifes her boy would lead.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

If there's documentary footage of Alyssa crashing around the house pretending to be blind and we're never going to see it, I could just die. This is like when that guy who was making that Chris-Chan documentary destroyed the only known footage of Megan. You have an obligation to the rest of humanity, you goddamn shitstains.

I got flashbanged by stampers dick.