random_text.txt

[Brain Power]

Being a world bearing cosmic space turtle it is hard to commit suicide. Can someone put me and my elephants out of our misery?

 

[Army Burger]

learned a new word today, "AUTOGYNEPHILIA"

Well even if a man can't become a woman, at least they've proven they can become a cunt.

The only way to get true justice in America is with rope ,ducktape and a .40 cal bullet.

I think it's a light reflection. Or a third nipple.

you can tell the thought process was 'mmm yeah big ol titties' and not much else

Skating poop ghoul is a LARP I can get behind.

According to Melinda I am a melindant narcissist lol

never forget the great 2014 gassing of the furries, best day of my life

Remove the curse Melenda or you will face the wrath of my niggy joo powers

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

"I asked her what her passwords were before she slipped into a coma, so I could let the world know about what happened."

link

Edit:

"my parents have a lawyer on retainer"

 

[Army Burger]

ITT: Revenge of the Pseudokikes.

"god i want adam driver to puncture my deformed pussy with his giant cock"
"ew no why is adam driver putting his penis in a vagina "

 

[Brain Power]

Apparently every time I take a piss another troon joins the 41%

I never knew I could wield so much power with my bladder

 

[Army Burger]

"Spokane has a black version of every white person I've ever met. When I shut my eyes at night it's like a reunion. Everyone I've known is there, except they're African-American."

Woah, it's hard to imagine how much jizz has hit those teeth over the years.

Rosie O Donnell gave you a boner?

They should vote for a fat black tranny with three days of stubble, excruciating body odor, and missing teeth.

i might be a fucking retard but im proud of the fact i was never in some gay raid ops thank god

My Dad just killed himself and my brother got sucked into a jet engine lmfao. Show will probly be late or cancelled.

 

[Southern Belle]

Maybe its because we have a psychic bond cause we're both Italian, but I was getting bad vibes off my TV

 

[Yuusha-sama]

He's talking about Kiwi Farms:

It is absolute soul poison
Like on top of the transphobia it's also like some eldritch evil potion conjured up
specifically to eat away at the life and supports that TERFs have outside of their circle of hate

Spoiler: Source

Kalina Chung, Über lesbian on Twitter: "It is absolute soul poison… "

archived 18 Jan 2020 12:14:02 UTC

archive.li

 

[Army Burger]

Put that bataan in your donut hole before you lose your jelly.

Your penis, in which you sent to me in an Instagram is very very small. Not impressive to me.

Tell me about what kind of genitals these Bionicles possess??

 

[Chaptersevenbankruptcy]

Why yes, those vibrators do seem to judder quicker than your would-be brain.

 

[Army Burger]

there better be a Drag Story Hour at this event, I can't actually start to hate an LGBT+ Con without grown men in dresses reading to kids while flashing their genitals at them.

People who wear sunglasses indoors should be shot

That ass has more craters than the moon.

So the husband was like "ok wife's on period, eventually we will have sexytimes" but before "her" period ended people went up to him and said "yo your wife's a dude."

That ass has so many craters I could use it to play connect the dots and get a smiley face.

Same here, every time I look at her, I get the urge to shower off really well, brush my teeth and hair, and drink lots of water just to make sure I don't look like a diseased courtney love look alike zombie hooker.

Nate isn't gay, he's just sexually attracted to other men

Yes I sure wish I was a barren old childless laughtingstock. It has been my dream since forever.

There has to be a dick somewhere.

If you told me just a few years ago that the Pillsbury Doughboy would call me a fascist for using a website, I simply would not believe you.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

What I would give to kidnap that guy and make his life a living hell. I would force him to dress up in elf and leprechaun outfits and subject him to pure awfulness and humiliation. Just terrible degradation and shameful acts. It would be so easy to break his spirit and drive him to suicide, but I wouldn't let him do it. If I could train a dog to rape on command then I would totally do that as well. A really big dog like a mastiff. He would be so completely and utterly powerless to stop it, not to mention terrified. A big ass dog is even scary and life-threatening to a normal human but to a midget? Might as well be a dragon. I'd keep him in a cell and what's more is that I would actually place the key inside with him but put it in a high place. Not extremely high but just ever so slightly out of reach. It would drive him mad. I would dress him like a baby and force feed him 99 cent store baby food. I'd also pick him up like a child and toss him from one corner to the next. I'd grab him by one leg and swing him as hard and as fast as I could then hurl him to see how far he goes. I'd rent one of those giant inflatable bounce houses and body slam him all day until my arms got tired. I'd hold him down with 1 hand and slowly stick things up his butt just to see him squirm. I would stick him in dryers and turn them on and leave him in there for long periods of time. I'd force him to fight other midgets to the death. Just so many things i would do.

@Bastard Samurai

 

[Floop]

A mobile game I'm really good at it is not accidentally "liking" a coworkers bikini pics when you're not supposed to know their social media links.

Tell me about what kind of genitals these Bionicles possess??

Great, I now have the mental image of a Smash Fag and an FE Fag, simultaneously licking each other’s eyes for tears. Like 69ing but with eyeballs.

I mean, if my gay tendencies increased I'd probably want Reviewbrah because he's pretty close to the kinds of skinny girls I already like.

 

[Kirito]

View attachment 1104765

What I would give to kidnap that guy and make his life a living hell. I would force him to dress up in elf and leprechaun outfits and subject him to pure awfulness and humiliation. Just terrible degradation and shameful acts. It would be so easy to break his spirit and drive him to suicide, but I wouldn't let him do it. If I could train a dog to rape on command then I would totally do that as well. A really big dog like a mastiff. He would be so completely and utterly powerless to stop it, not to mention terrified. A big ass dog is even scary and life-threatening to a normal human but to a midget? Might as well be a dragon. I'd keep him in a cell and what's more is that I would actually place the key inside with him but put it in a high place. Not extremely high but just ever so slightly out of reach. It would drive him mad. I would dress him like a baby and force feed him 99 cent store baby food. I'd also pick him up like a child and toss him from one corner to the next. I'd grab him by one leg and swing him as hard and as fast as I could then hurl him to see how far he goes. I'd rent one of those giant inflatable bounce houses and body slam him all day until my arms got tired. I'd hold him down with 1 hand and slowly stick things up his butt just to see him squirm. I would stick him in dryers and turn them on and leave him in there for long periods of time. I'd force him to fight other midgets to the death. Just so many things i would do.

@Bastard Samurai

It's copypasta

 

[Army Burger]

It really says something about the state of us autists when we’re talking about Pokémon and Rocketshipping.

It’s flat. Completely flat. This is upsetting. I’m both confused and disgusted.

A Labia Menorah?

Looks like most of that "130 pounds" is forehead.

Reddit is gay and so are you.

Remind me to not eat and browse KF.

Congrats on the white supremacy

lol big albino rhianna is finally in jail again amen

1/2 Quebecois, 1/2 British Columbian, 100% Homosexual

You are in my coffee shop. You can say what you'd like, but if you shit on my floor I'm going to have to clean it up.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

You feel as if a toxic miasma is clinging to your skin. It's as if you walked into a house with so many cats you could feel the stink in the air. Then you roll over and see what that unclean feeling is. You've slept with somebody so foul the weight of her family's sins has been passed down from one generation to the next. That foulness will never leave you. You know the next time you go cruising for drunk chicks at a bar, you'll do so with the lingering stench of a propaganda message broadcasted from a North Vietnamese prison camp.

 

[Army Burger]

Lmao there is no such thing as friendship between woman. Just temporary truce.

Well I cant when someone else is in there. So i just wait till i am alone. But some bathrooms afe easier tgab ithers. Like the mall bathrooms i usually avoid cause too many people going to the bathroom usually. But library bathrooms or certain business bathrooms will have less traffic. Hey i guess since i will never be rehired by my prevuous job i can admit that i masturbated on the clock many times at that old job to spite them. I got it mastered so i can reach orgasm in 5-10 minutes.

Imagine having to tell your friends you had your ass handed to you by some land-whale dressed like a pink Pokémon reject.

come to the women's in the next 15 minutes if u want an ass kicking

I'd vote for a nigga named Pete Gigabutt

Very disturbing to think that you can't even go on your feckin holliers without some cunt with his smartglasses or whatever recognizing you

him: you've critically struck the kobold, immediately making you shit your diapers
me: what

In light of oversharing, let me tell all you kiwi farmers an interesting gross out story. About 12 years ago or so can remember exactly how long ago it was, but roughly that time period, I discovered through experimentation that if you bend your penis while it is not hard and then get your penis hard wile it is still bent, the penis will stay bent while it becomes fully erect. the part that is bent stays soft whereas the rest of it is hard. I did it once but I never did it again and I am so glad i didn't break my penis by doing that. And whenever i think about me having done that i shudder in horror about the mere thought of having done that. it seems so disturbing to me looking back. kind of like when you think about someone hurting someone's neck or your own neck it makes you have this feeling of being grossed out. but yeah im not making it up but i actually did that. i discovered that bending your penis while its not erect and then it becoming hard, it will adapt to this by your body refusing to make the bent part erect but making the rest of the penis erect. but let me make it clear don't try that at home. too much risk for breaking your penis. anyways hopefully you all enjoyed that horror story.

I bet you he jizzes at the thought of seizing the means of production.

ITT: @SAVE TWINKIE! reveals themselves as the dom daddy brat tamer they truly are and we all just want a good spankin'

You are 3 years too late. Now get out of here before I gouge out your eyeballs and skullfuck you.

The condition of my vagina, my beauty, and my calling out your sexist patriarchy was answered many pages ago..

 

[TV's Adam West]

View attachment 73759

And the guy who gave me oral herpes? Albert Einstein.

Chris is #1 in my heart.

HOLD IT!

Imagine getting nostalgic about a gay autistic trans-woman

 

[Army Burger]

It's not my responsibility to sterilize my uterus to convenience Capitalism.

Anilingus is a great way to get E. coli and C. diff

 

[Azafran90]

I'm just a humble shitposter from the Farms, ma'am. Like everyone else here, I don't care if you live or die.