random_text.txt

[Ted Kaczynski]

who the fuck pinged me nigga

 

[CobraPlissken]

No man really wants to have to face any kind of reality where his sister's getting penetrated by some hairy guy.

Multiple 6 foot rule violations. They could've jerked off in front of each other from across the tub and it wouldn't be gay.

She really does think she is a mermaid when really she looks like a slug in a sleeping bag.

"Hey man, you got the stuff?"
"Yeah it's right here, just like you asked, some real primo shit"
"You're sure it'll grow my boyclit back into a mandong?"
"Of course man, it's the highest grade bull testosterone, made from the biggest meanest cowballs"

Maybe I'm offended that you're offended by me, is this what we call a Histrionic Mexican Standoff??

He looks like a fridge, but not like a strong fridge, more like a weak pudgy fridge filled with pudding and shame.

No waist, no thighs, chiseled jawline, horrible moobs, big feet. Like a gay pelican.

He talks a lot of shit for someone with a farty vagina.

 

[Blackhole]

They are getting Jews inside my brain. As if my mental health could get any worse.

I want the tape of Ralph fucking a nigger from behind while the nigger eats Pantsu’s pregnant pussy. Bonus points if he hoisted the gunt up on her big black ass.

oh right. the penis. the penis for women. the penis chosen specially for women. women's penis

Bimbo fetishists are weak and die in the sunlight.
You can smell them when you're driving.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

You can't even Naruto run

Yeah. We throw meth at toddlers now.

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

Kywy Fyrms.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

He’s not a dictator, he’s a dick taster. There’s a difference.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

This is what happens when you do loads of gay milsim larping, it rots your brain.

I imagine with the stubble it’d be like getting fucked with a scrub brush.

thank god i'm not a fucking tranny

 

[Meat Target]

sorry, but lynching just ain't considered a valid kind of degenerate kink where most people live at.

 

[Cats]

Always thought it was his croak sack

 

[Open Window Maniac]

That rumor of Jamie Lee being a hermaphrodite has stuck around longer that the gerbil allegedly up Richard Gere's ass.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

who the fuck pinged me nigga

 

[Haffhart]

tfw when this shit is so autistic that even other autists are questioning what the fuck is wrong with you

 

[Meat Target]

This isn't a war anymore, it's statist football hooliganism.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

One wrong move with a dilator and he's gonna find out what a real bad time is.

To look forwards to this for so long only to wake up, remove the bandages, and find you have been given what is effectively a gaping butthole where your dick was.

... This person can poop twice as fast any of us can

He may as well incubate marsupials in there thanks to its convenient forward facing position.

Posting naked pics of fake vagina online. What could possibly go wrong?

I'd like to believe that there's a chance for redemption for everybody.

Congratulations, you’re here forever.

Hopefully they will also apologize for apologizing.

 

[Hitman One]

Someone dox this tranny faggot.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

9gag belongs in hell for creating this affront to god.

 

[GHTD]

I'm 53 and been happily married for years. I can't remember ever having a great need for lube.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

"Lol", said the rape worms. "LMAO".

 

[Open Window Maniac]

I for one welcome our new Peruvian Womxn allies.

 

[Blackhole]

"Woe is me, I'm just a pathetic nigger ape monkey, I wish I could be a sexy alt-right macho man like (insert alt-right lolcow here)."

MAMA MIA, THAT'S A SPICY BACTERIAL INFECTION

Violent Felonies Done Quick
Babyrape: Any% <15:00

He’s not a dictator, he’s a dick taster. There’s a difference.

As much as I hate the EU parliament and all it stands for, I despise this little cuckboy wannabe statesman more.

You are sullying the name of Canadians here and that's a difficult task into and of itself.