random_text.txt

[AMHOLIO]

"Sir," he said, turning to Ryuk and smiling, "this is the beginning of something very gay. Hail Israel!"

 

[Pissmaster]

Wait I'm confused, am I killing myself or not?

 

[I'm Retarded?]

What maintenance do you need for your dogs balls?

 

[Naoto]

My account is older than 72.898% of users and I didn’t run away despite being present for both of the major hacks. Regardless, I can call anyone with an account even 1 second younger than mine a newfag because, Mr. October 2022 NEWFAG, being a newfag isn’t just about a number; Newfag is a state of mind.

 

[Aunt Carol]

You'd tell a German girl you got paid on the 1st and 15th of every month, and the genetically ingrained German love of strict, reliable schedules would make her wetter than the amazon basin.

 

[Pitbull Victim]

In honor of the anniversary of Lowtax's death, here's a quote from a depressed SomethingAwful goon that is older than this forum but still makes me laugh:



"I've never had much money so I made my family artwork this christmas, but in addition to that, I got my brother a nice and warm $80 jacket that he needed as well as the swiss army knife that he's been dropping hints at for months. He gave me a stained fleece that he wrote "fag" in bleach on and a key chain that he got free from work."

 

[Thunk Provoker]

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/steven...eptember-sveach94.132480/page-2#post-13261374

One of my greatest influences as a writer despises me as an antisemite, wishes I was dead, and would do anything to take back their review of my fanfic which made my short story career possible.

 

[Something Awful]

"When I got my first paycheck for delivering newspapers, when I was 11, the first thing I bought was a pack of diapers." - Sophie "Assigned Male" Labelle

 

[KiwiFuzz]

None of that matters when you free yourself from the shackles of western civilization. Just follow these easy steps:
1) start a Scandinavian black metal band where you play all the instruments.
2) stab one of your colleagues 23 times in self defense.
3) spend some time in a Norwegian prison. It won't be so bad, you'll probably have your own room with a TV and gaming console. But you'll choose to read Heidegger instead.
4) get out of prison early on good behavior and take a young wife who is ready to bear children. Move to the countryside and live off the land. Don't make a garden, make an edible forest. Don't send your kids to school, homeschool them with the Live Action Role Playing game you made in prison.

I'm not sure I'd describe a feral hound hungry for human flesh as 'mischievous'.

Can you really call it networking when the equivalent of your secretarial desk is covered in old cum? Old PRETEND CUM?

“Hey we’re sorry about the ovens. Here’s some chicken.”

Arbeit Macht Fried!

 

[Hitman One]

You brick-faced mong. You utter imbecile. You dickless wonder.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

That's wonderful now can your nudes get leaked already I want to see those ozzie upside down tits.

These fucking tweets are giving me PTSD.

Every time I see someone policing twitter likes, I instantly write them off as a delusional faggot with nothing of value to say.

Geoff made poor choices throughout his life, his first marriage fell apart within like a year only for him to marry a literal harpy whore who is now getting fucked on camera for pennies.

All the things I liked are dead. I hate the internet.

I imagine Matt sitting at home eating his 5th donut of the hour while scrolling through all his friends and coworkers stabbing each other and embarrassing themselves before he eventually just goes, "Wow, this is wild. Anyway, I guess I'm gonna go play some Mario Kart."

Wait what? They made fun of him for not wanting to fuck fat chicks?

Just get off the internet you walnut

I love the idea that vindictive troons go around threatening each other with "I'm a mod on kiwifarms I have the connections to get null to send a hitsquad after you" sorts of bullshit.

You wanting to kill yourself was gods way of telling you to stop being a faggot

Every time the site goes down and comes back I post a worse image!

at least you weren't in London during Pride Week. it literally felt like stepping into the Thousand Year Fag Reich

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

And as a watch wearer I will now have to look at it and announce it is time to be transphobic.

 

[Mr Bunny]

There is modesty, and there is a mentally ill middle aged man with gigantic prosthetic tits.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

I can’t get over how he somehow looked better as a homeless bum then he does here.

 

[ASeabear8952]

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/steven-veach-sympathyforthequarians-observerseptember-sveach94.132480/

“Joshua Moon,” the man with the sword said slowly. Then he raised it above his head, as if to strike. “THIS IS FOR MY TRANS SISTER THAT KILLED HERSELF, SCUMBAG!”
————————————————————————
“Any further protests from Joshua Moon were cut off as the katana slammed into his neck, severing his head from his body and abruptly ending his life.”
————————————————————————

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/dr-karlyn-borysenko.125037/

“Everyone who died in the Holocaust choose to die in the Holocaust before they were ever born because they collective wanted to understand the experience of ultimate oppression. That’s why Hitler went to heaven.”

 

[JustSomeDong]

Once Lowtax has jerked off on your toes, there's just no going back.

 

[Computer Guardian]

“The Internet sleuths at kiwifarms”

 

[DrNow]

I actually took that quote from an existing random.txt haha

 

[MrJokerRager]

THIS is why I hate millennials and Zoomers. No, you faggots didn't come up with it. People as far back as the Bronze Age looked toward the future. They build their present on the foundation of the past with an eye toward the future. That's why they built bridges, dams, aqueducts, farmed, domesticated animals.

So, no, you faggots didn't come up with the future. You just thought it meant luxury gay space communism without working for it, now you're sad that reality went "LOL, No. Get to fucking work."

And I don't want to here you Zoomers and Millennials crying about how the future looks so bleak.

Want to know what the future looked like for everyone between 1950 and 1999?

View attachment 3837537

This. THIS was our fates, you faggots. I knew girls afraid to have children because they were worried about their children growing up in the horrors of a nuclear apocalypse.

And no, don't come in here talking shit about how "EXPERTS SAY THAT..." when you were born in 1998 and listen to motherfuckers who flat out retconned history.

Oh, it's hard! We don't have anything to look forward to!

You lazy, pampered, coddled, spoiled little niggers.

Oh, I won't be able to have my penis plated in gold/have my vagina bedazzled with diamonds!

How about you get to fucking work.

Life has ALWAYS been fucking hard.

Hardly any of you assholes have had to kill to survive. An animal or a man.

How many of you have gone hungry? How many of you have had to live without electricity or running water? How many of you have had to keep a wood stove lit?

You know what?

Sit your spoiled, pampered asses down.

The future's still coming.

I'm sorry it's not the Glorious Gay Space Luxury Automated Communism where you get to upload your body into a robot because [FILL IN ENEMY] stole it from you, but, guess what, Roberto, you should be goddamn grateful you go to bed with a full belly.

The majority of human history people strove for a full belly, safety, and contentedness.

You faggots have dopamine receptors as blown out as your assholes and are whining you aren't happy 24/7.

Fuck you.

I hope Russia fucking nukes us and you die of starvation and thermal pulse burns.

Faggots.

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

Not surprising since Cloudflare has made it clear they are happy to consent accident free speech to make a brick chinned chink happy.