random_text.txt

[Pendulous Dong]

I promise you that you had at least one dude who would have committed a felony for you if meant a steady relationship.

 

[everybody in Portugal]

You can also sell the dog's cum to the cum cartel. You cannot sell literal tard cum to any cum cartels.

She looks like a fortune-telling pedophile

Queers for Palestine always get all the media attention, can we not spare a moment to consider Sodomites for Somalia?

I'm capable of tolerating overly clingy and obsessive people with daddy issues, but US black culture is something you simply can't overcome

Who'd of thought putting a rolled up tube of arm flesh on a mentally ill woman was a bad idea?

We must cast out all these butt demons

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

"Yeah I'm into BDSM: blocking, dilating, seething and malding."

 

[Rotollo 2]

your soldiers were gooning to the sounds of your allies pounding bussy next door and keeping boys chained to their beds

 

[Tablet County]

Is this guy saying genocide is a Jewish thing to do, and that it's a Christian spook to not commit genocide? Am I reading this correctly?

There's an entire subforum for you to bitch about this dumb shit no one cares about yet you choose this thread.

Are rage erections even a thing?

it's hard to find time in your coke snorting and K shooting schedule to show up to court.

 

[vomitusdeux]

Jesus, Mary and Joseph: is that bondage bear pooning out?

Actually I can say with confidence that 99% of us have never jacked off to a sewer gangbang of children at any time in our lives

Your definition of "normie" appears to be "person who doesn't make victims of child molestation cry because fuck her, amirite?"

Also why the hell do you have four Know Your Meme tabs open???

I think you need more meds my nigga.

That was the first girl and I didn't want cuts from her, I wanted cuts from a different woman.

This unprecedented hatred, violence, and vitriol only confirms that I am right. I will ALWAYS defend those being attacked, and I will ALWAYS protect those you deem inhuman. I will fight for what's right to my very last breath, and I know Celestia and Luna would be proud of me. I dream of a world with no violence, no hatred, peace and cooperation between those whom are the majority and those who are furries or bronies or transgenders. Damned be the consequences.

The only reason you call me a pedophile and a zoophile is because you see the worst in people. I understand. But I see the best in people, I dare each and every one of you to love one another instead of hate. Celestia/Luna bless you all.

He did once claim to have finger blasted a live mare.

Giving a remote tribe complete access to the 2024 Internet is like giving a chimpansee a machine gun.

We shot straight past muskets and gave them algorithmically-driven porn cannons.

Impressively articulate for somebody who insists he's an infant.

Please, if you have any courtesy at all, post your cuck behavior questions in Q&A. Thanks.

I don't know about you, but when I want to see who a guy looks like, I look at his face and not his dong.

It's good to see that some 16 year olds are still willing to step up and provide for the family, unlike my man Nick's useless little incel prude

Why is your dad such a pussy that he would send you to buy weed for him?

Watch this increase NVDIA's stock price. I wonder if correlates to the size of the breasts signed?

No, poop isn't chocolate no matter how similar they look.

So yeah, that's one thing I don't need to try again.

I hope the story is fake and gay. But yeah, whoop-dee-fucking-doo, shit tastes like shit. Whoda thunk it?

. I broke up with my girlfriend over a text that week and took this girl to my section 8 housing complex. I turned on the TV and we fucked from the beginning of Judge Judy to the end of Judge Judy.

Futas are basically hermaphrodites. Women that naturally have dicks.

im vagina

Trans-women are women.

Real women are menstruators with bonus holes.

Chill your front holes, chest feeders.
This is clearly progress, we all want this.

what if pee was called Unpoop

"I, too, have an incredible cock-thirst"

I wear my mask. Now you wear your tardbaby!

I'd rather talk about Portillo's than this sick fuck.

They don’t “cut your cock off,” you fucking transphobe bigot. They just take the girldiqique and turn it inside out to form the front hole

 

[Rotollo 2]

I am clearly referring to the vtuber who has a lolicon smelly slave shit and piss fetish

 

[cherrysour]

Other customers did nothing while I was misgendered in Dollar General, it made me question democracy

Like he deliberately attacked the Forum and basically challenged every data mining autist and unapologetic shitlord here to dig up all of his unsavory shit and archive it.
Why would he ever think that was a good idea.

It's not good, but people with no taste think it's good, leading to the association with cocksuckers.

He likes cock with a pair of titties, so make sure to photoshop some huge badongas on Hitler

 

[Aunt Carol]

What I'm trying to say is Kojima made me retarded.

I just don't want a Fujo handling my food. I don't think I'm being unreasonable.

(already posted above, but I think the second sentence improves it.)

I threw a dead possum in my orchard one year and it worked fine.

 

[Lurker]

Because who doesn't like watching a brother and sister fuck

 

[Gentlebastard]

As a lifelong non-Linux user, perhaps someone who is familiar with it could elucidate what he's talking about when he says Linux usage is a significant contributing factor in his overnight decision to become a tranny? I thought it was just some operating system, does it routinely bombard its users with sissy hypno porn or something?

I'm sewing a mask made out of grandma's old undies to my face as we speak.

lol. Faggot. Imagine seeing the face of homosexuality calling you a sissy bitch.

He likes consumable, calorie rich things heading in his direction in any way, shape, or form. Rumor has it he doesn't even have to be hit in the mouth anymore, he has learned to absorb matter directly through his skin. You know, like the old horror movie The Blob, only fatter and dumber.

The fuck does this dumbfuck want? Can't even ride a damn bike (and not due to genuine physical disability, just "trauma") yet wants to LARP as a functioning member of society?

Terry A Davis was a genuine full on crazy schizo and puts this idiot to shame.

Biological Exuberance, by Bruce Bagemihl, is a thorough exploration of various types of sex in animals. There's lots of "banana cramming" happening among many types of animals.

Allegedly buttsex opens your root chakra and allows the spread of demonic posession.

We must cast out all these butt demons.

no matter how much you oink, Josh will not fuck you

Weddings are a great place to use obscure and other weird forms of transportation, like limos, bikes, horse and carriages, negros carrying a throne, etc.

Tragic confirmation that porktits has never seen any of my lustful fantasies about savagely buttfucking him in the street till he chokes on my foreskin

(Ignore me, I'm old and disillusioned and it's probably time for my pills.)

“You will never be dextral sensitivity dominant.”

 

[frozen_runner]

Thank you for your cervix

Just shit uncontrollably if you get drafted.

The Cathedral is real and it hates us and wants to turn us gay.

You post here. Why are you pretending your genes are any good?

Dead faggots make me happy
Dead faggots make me sing
I hope that muslim goes to Heaven
Because his knife skills were amazing

I'm so confused.

I approve of this because it's funny and pisses off retards.

Never back down from faggots. Never apologize to faggots. Continue being based.

If Joe Biden got up on stage and said that we have to ban guns because of niggers I would instantly become a Democrat

Twitich is now ready for High Impact Sexual Violence.

As long as AI stands for Artificial Intelligence and not actually Indians

Im sorry to shit up the thread but who the fuck felt the need to feature this and ruin by break at work by reminding me that this creature exists out there?

Str8 pride knocks out virging AIDS riddled LGBT by drinking a nice flavorless mush called rootmarm and enjoying watching the kids play at the park.

Uncle Ted was right.

Little you knew A&N actually stood for Autism & Niggedry.

 

[stupid frog]

Woke up with some blah blah blah in my head. Word vomit ahead.

Spoiler: Sappy Love Letter

The Farms is not some para-social hugbox, and that seems to be a concept that so many of the Cows and their associated dingle-berries don't grasp. We have various and assorted talents and skillsets, and that diversity is, for the most part, encouraged to flourish and develop for the entertainment and knowledge of us all. And above it all is the prime directive, and when push comes to shove, we take pride in gathering, preserving and accurately documenting our subjects and their goings-on. AND in the between times, we offer opinions, cheer or jeer our personal favorites; all while maintaining a civility with each other. And sometimes, rarely, I just shut up and give everyone the side eye(see avi)and keep it moving.
Some of us are artists, some of us are wordsmiths. Some of us are tech wizards, some of us can give the total kcal count from a grocery haul. I am continually surprised and amazed at some of the insights and perspectives that you all bring. So you all just keep bringing your own flavor and spice to this autistic casserole that is Kiwi Farms. I wouldn't want it any other way! I love all you Farmers, and I don't care if you are fat, I would have sex with all of you.

 

[Deranged Jew]

“If God won’t give me a boy body in heaven, then Jesus is a f*****.”

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

in order to become flame-retardant you have to first become retarded

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Yeah, I do not give a fuck about the baby growing up to suck dick aspect.

Every time you make a comment like that about Trump, you’re picturing him performing a sexual act in your mind. So you are thinking about Trump having sex multiple times a day, probably because you’re a homosexual with a preference for older men.

Might even teach women how to aim and throw.
Wait, maybe that's not such a good idea.

just glad my favorite video games are all cool with a dude taking cocks up his ass

 

[Chongqing]

Betty's breaking down again and claiming that she has a condition where if she doesn't cut herself or masturbate every day, she gets a seizure.

Edit to add: I think it's legit.

 

[Johnny Salami]

so how old were you when you got your autism diagnosis?

I've been to pride parades less gay than this shit

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

I like to think the Nazis would have frowned upon fake tits and beach muscles.

Female Goblins be raping everyone out here

God, only in third world shit holes would an insane story like this happen.

Everyone knows all you have to do is leave out a prisoner and a few kilos of cocaine every couple of months and they'll leave you alone for most of the year unless you bring a lunch with cheese in it to work and don't share.

Procedurally generated pussy-teeth gynecology challenge level: impossible

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

I'm going to sit outside and sun my balls while eating raw steak while shooting a gun. No one will dare call me gay then!

I don't know what country is but why does it have the ugliest women?

How hard is it for some people to not act like complete animals when faced with a very mild inconvenience at a fucking Chipotle?

Yes you go to the church or high school or whatever and tell them your name and address and they cross you off the list and then they give you two pieces of paper and you nod along without listening while they explain how to fill it out and then you draw a penis and testicles on it and put it in the cardboard box.

Really as much as I like the idea, where are the swastikas??

dropped a Bangalore torpedo right in his Omaha beach

Fanfiction or the bullet: choose wisely!

He may of course also have shit himself but that was probably going to happen anyway.

Turns out you can't offshore cloning Hitler to Brazil and expect him to turn out like the original.

A corolla, motor oil, and some rubber snakes are definitely attempting the challenge on hard mode.

Future Freemasons

I am quite pleased to say I never saw or was part of simulated ass fucking at my school when I was growing up and I'm still quite masculine.

Fall asleep around white people and wake up with a carrot in your ass.

When I was 7, I used to torture my green army men with a magnifying glass. They wouldn't tell me where Saddam hid the Kuwaiti bullion so there were many a cauterized limb and crotch in my rubbermaid bin. Never thought to make my toys fuck each other though, that's kinda weird.

Kinda sad when every kid has a history of murdering some of their action figures with power tools or smashing one or two of their matchbox cars with a hammer, but almost NONE of them tried to make them kiss..... let alone peg.

"Joe Biden did not 'defecate himself.' He merely defecated into an adult diaper, which is commonly used by adults within the 70-85 age bracket and is not the same as 'pooping himself'."

The people want proof. Post underpants.

STUTTERING FITS
PANTS OF SHIT
PEEPEE POOPOO

 

[doodoocaca]

Thus Starbucks maintains its own standing army of blue-haired Jem'Hadar, made up of the trans off of their parents' insurance who've racked their brains and can't figure out how they might be disabled.

(And pooners don't just fondle rotdogs, they nurse them and sing them lullabies. Look through the highlights.)