random_text.txt

[MediocreMilt]

Ah, yes, the authenticity of the images of me being publically sodomized with a flashlight isn't even being discussed anymore- just the timeline.

 

[Army Burger]

When Nik was a little boy, just sawing away on the violin and getting good grades, I wonder if he ever thought he'd be gorging himself publicly on fast food and getting his asshole ripped up for cash.

Shine on you crazy bugloving diamond.

Those people wouldn't know sexual assault if it raw dogged their rectum.

 

[Clown Baby]

Blah blah blah I'm a dumbass social media addict who sits on enormous butt to stretch out my anus for black homos

Everyone loathes me - michael fassbutter

 

[Army Burger]

I prayed with Wogglebug and he has accepted Jesus Christ as his personal lord and saviour and he prayed for Cynthia’s immortal soul.

There is nothing more important in the world than critiquing anime. If people have to die doing it, then so be it.

“Some of you troons are alright don’t go to the United States tomorrow”

Imagine shitting yourself and trying to act tough on the internet

 

[Sammy]

"When was the last time Null actually updated random.txt with any of these suggestions?"

Both an actual question, and a submission.

 

[Dork Of Ages]

You ever wrassle in high school? As any true warrior who has never skipped leg day in his life knows if you lock your opponent with your legs and fart right on the side of his face it is extremely demoralizing. You'll give a guy pink-eye for sure.

KiwiFarms circa 1997: "Akshually, taking whatever you can find, like plungers and broom handles, and shoving them up a perp's ass is a completely common and effective restraint method. Failing that, crushing his balls with your hands and feet while he's cuffed can keep even perps hopped up on PCP under control. My friends and family have all used these techniques on me and we've laughed and gone out for beers and heroin after."

"Cops should kill all them niggas" on the right, "Cops shouldn't kill any niggas" on the left. You're both delusional, cops should kill half them niggas.

no one's forcing you to read it. if you don't want to step in the chinaman shit then go to another airport, some people enjoy the scent of chinese people's shit.

Thank you for expressing your extremely valued opinion, Mr. NIGGER ASS PEE POOPY RAPE. We at Kiwi Farms Inc. highly appreciate your concerns.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

Like tard cum cows harnessed to an electric jerking off machine, those who have the misfortune of being elected "cow to lol" will then be exploited for entertainment purposes by the members of the forum

 

[Cryogonal]

One: I said "rape-fest", not mass rapes. Slight difference there.

 

[Army Burger]

The Wogglebug could go around stabbing kids to death with his penis.

 

[SIGSEGV]

I believe this fart was planted by the DNC in order to generate interest in a terribly boring candidate.

If only Chris had applied his skills in shitting his pants and doing nothing towards running for president.

 

[Dork Of Ages]

If you get hit by tear gas the tard cum will help neutralize it.

Everything revolves around Orange man now, he has consumed the power of gamergate without even tweeting it.

Y'all cowards don't even smoke crack let alone burn down government buildings.

 

[Antipathy]

Everyone knows that Blue's Clues is an allegory for purgatory, you uncultured swine.

Myka is the Babe Ruth of Kick The Autistic

She probably looked in the mirror and saw barb staring back, among which

 

[HumanHive]

Truth is a privilege, not a right unlike free speech.

 

[Longjack Attack]

Do you think I'll be able to solve all my problems with drugs? Ha ha, just jesting of course. -- Lowtax, 2005

 

[deepFriedBaka]

kiwifarms? what the fuck is that-- oh. Oh. DO NOT GO THERE. DO NOOOOOT.

something awful replaces rape with "surprise sex" they're fucking disgusting

kiwifarms is the asshole of the internet. run the fuck away from them

Just some suggestions. Old quotes I remember. Don't know who said them.

Edit: one more:

Go stick your dick in a beehive if you have a problem with the decision, you dumb fuck.

 

[NoFeline]

We basically have butthole.

 

[AMHOLIO]

ye i definitely shouldn't have come here. i remember when i used to call lolcows like CWC retarded, and act like you. now im the lolcow, im the one who's cornered, and has nowhere to run.

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

"Incest, but in a light-hearted, joking way"

...to no one's surprise, Stephanie Cianfriglia said that.

Is ‘my tits moving makes me think of porn’ the most unrelatable sentence of the year?

 

[Brain Power]

The site founded to discuss an autistic manchild virgin with rage is now one of the best sources for news coverage and discussion. What a world we live in.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

We live in a post-lesson society.

Blood for the Blood God. Jordans for the Hood Rat.

"WHEN BLACK LIVES ARE UNDDER ATTAK WHAT DO WE DO"

"Burn down our houses."