random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[NyQuilninja]

Goddamnit I wish I had a hostile work environment...

I just want my own country with the capital being my living room

You people are the reason regular people think we are a bunch of autistic stormfront rejects.

"every time we raise the cost of stamps, we get fewer angry letters..... why, at this rate, we'll be complaint-free after just three more price hikes!"

I can smell those images.

Everyone knows the Ice Age happened because the stupid Mesopotamians wouldn't stop driving their Ford F-150s.

Our main export really is anal sex

That's a lie it's called a lie. Not a mistake, not an underestimate, a lie.

Wtf! How? Why? Theres no balls how the... why did I come back here.
Goddammit.
Thanks for that.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

shut up roastie im going to serially kill you (zodiacally)

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I'm actually offended she didn't at least let the bird persona front for this. She's not nearly as clever as she thinks.

 

[HumanHive]

 

[Pee Cola]

I don't hate all autistics though, just the toxic retarded ones

 

[Justtocheck]

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

don't you have another thread to be retarded on

If that includes the school parking lot, then most school shootings are definitely not done by white kids.

This might be almost as embarrassing than being defeated by a couch.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO B-BB-BUT I SPENT 18 HOURS A DAY PLAYING CSGO!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

I'm not buying your fucking tomato squeeze

They say "around blacks never relax", but it should really be "never be jolly around a Somali".

 

[Law]

"Another emergency craniectomy, doc! If only he hadn't been born a male with a smaller than average head!" It’s an average based on body size you fucking retard.

My. Sides.
For real there are some funny mofos on this site. Whole post was hilarious.

 

[Aunt Carol]

He seems well rested and obese at all times.

 

[Weed Eater]

ALL prayers to Jesus have all be going to Christine for nearly 40 years now

It's probably already been said here, but I couldn't pass up making this quote relevant to my 666th forum post.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

At this point the nigger could be a cripple and I wouldn't care. Learn to walk or eat shit negro.

 

[Blackhole]

For me it’s the dirty oversized Walmart polo and double chin that really ties the overpriced food together.

the fake gold chain from walmart's clearance section makes up for it i guess

came for the lolcows, stayed for the frens

Love me some crazy-ass self-pitying hatchet-faced Kevin-adjacent troonfuckery.

The whole reason the cult is called the Korps is probably because the leader knew subconsciously that everyone who joined would prematurely end up as one.

I diagnose him with being a sexpervert.

He's getting what he deserves and giving all of his voters what they deserve.

AIIIIIIIIDS.

I want my... I want my... I want my chicks for FREEEEEE
Cuz I work at, I work at, I work at Twitch.TV.

tbf i can believe ralph when he says he dislocates bones trying to fart and accidentally shitting himself

Autism, my friend. Just... autism.

I think we should decentralize our banks, and put them on the state level-- *gets brutally killed*

Don't worry, they'll take the vaccine, just like me. You all will. *cackling in NWO stooge intensifies*

W-WHEN THE - THE WHE-EHN THE THE WHEN THE IMP-WHEN WHEN THE I-I-IMPOST WHENNN
View attachment 2609214

Given were being led by a heavily corrupt dementia patient with handlers that autistically screech, unperson, and label anything right of socialism as terrorism and extremists, I'd say we're doing pretty well as a country

a single PR is as racist as ten crackers and as moneygrubbing as thirty jews
they're totally USA

To all the weens sending the incestuous rapist commissary money, I wish you a very happy doxxing.

I think we're missing the more important fact of Hitler lore: there's no way it was six million

We should normalize toasters having fleshlights installed.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Stop threatening us with your porn, this a war crime

Everyone knows kiwifarms is nothing but feds, fedposters, crazy cat ladies, and Null.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

Trains, when you want a shitty employee who makes emotional appeals like a woman but also has the rabid overconfidence of a man.

 

[Mike Stoklasa]

We should normalize toasters having fleshlights installed with them.

George Foreskin Grill

 

[veri]

We should normalize toasters having fleshlights installed with them.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN AND WHY WAS I TAGGED IN IT

 

[Zero Day Defense]

If someone broke into your house you would suck their dick.

 

[Law]

Imagine Kiwifarms is just a campfire and a lolcow is a pinecone. You throw a pinecone into the fire. Does that mean you hate pine trees? That you're an arsonist? No, you only did it because it's entertaining.

Pass the marshmallows.

 

[Penis Drager]

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN AND WHY WAS I TAGGED IN IT

First time on random_text?

 

[Useful_Mistake]

sedrgfiop90-bmjnsdfiogbnj srgiotu nhjs0oripghyn jsoriyghptn jwsopr0i9hygnj wopsirgtyhnjwsoperidghy

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SHIT COCK

sorry