random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[KiwiFuzz]

I'm not offended by his stupid arguments, I'm offended by him being so bad at it.

Only a troon would use the words 'prolapse' and 'delicious' in the same tweet with such enthusiasm.

This is a real sentence.

"I want to be treated as a real woman, but no one cares about my sexual gratification. "

Mission Accomplished

A moderately intelligent person would probably say "the last time I used the anal hook I blew my asshole out, maybe I shouldn't shove the same hook into my amhole". But a moderately intelligent person would never need to be having that conversation with themselves in the first place.

 

[Sealbaby]

I've been on Kiwi Farms for so long "Kill youself" is like a second hello. I forgot some people die from reading it.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I hope the based black lady wins or the white lady that REALLY hates trannies. We need to be rebranded to TERF island plus Jim Sterling would finally fuck off.

You'll feel better about it if you consider it comedic surgery instead.

All d00leys wants is a pretty little dick that doesn't make her ass look fat, guyz.

"fuck that shit, ban the middle class white people"

What the hell are we looking at there?!

Not the hotdog, that explains itself.

 

[I am vomit]

I hate old women.

Someone could shot enough estrogen to turn a bull moose queer into you and you would still be a faggot attracted to minors and dogs. Kill yourself.

which is why I use discord so if someone is super creepy and stalks you, you can report them unlike say here where anyone can use a dox to corner you in a motel and force you into sex

So if his avatar is sonichu does that mean barbs avatar is some kind of mystical california raisin?

After all, no mere mortal can handle the kiss chan of chris chan. The power of the goddess is too strong and too autistic

ah yes feed that elephant layrg more fluid mmm swollen ankle tit

Africa: Genital mutilation
America: Genital affirmation

Y'know what, it's probably to not get cum in the stuffing

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

She just died? Wow, I didn't know that, I just, uh, you're telling me now for the first time. She led an amazing life, what else can you say? She was an amazing woman, whether you agreed or not, she was an amazing woman who led an amazing life. Um, actually saddened to hear that, I am saddened to hear that. Thank you very much.

Blue-jean baby
L.A. lady
Seamstress for the band
Pretty-eyed
Pirate smile
You'll marry a music man
Ballerina
You must've seen her
Dancing in the sand
And now she's in me
Always with me
Tiny dancer in my hand​

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

IDK if you put your kids to public school you are pretty much asking for them to be shot. Alex Jones did nothing wrong.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

"Howie Mandel Prolapse Video" is one of the worst phrases imaginable.

 

[NoReturn]

I don't think 90s lyrics are binding legal precedent.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

I can’t believe someone literally cried to Null because not everyone was angrily shitting on a bikini outfit.

 

[JethroTullamore]

lol
*sit on your face*
"BAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRP*

 

[My Name is Mud]

We did all this without you, go try to fuck a chimp and see what it does to your microscopic cock, you ass.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

damn son she looking smashed and slammed

Do they just pass guns out specifically for foot shooting at RT headquarters or is everyone there supposed to bring their own?

 

[MediocreMilt]

I will refer to this as the "Waxing Decision."

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/yanivs...a-dismissed-bc-supreme-court-weighs-in.124419

 

[KiwiFuzz]

someone had a lot of time on their hands

and cum

The Walt Disney Corporation thanks you for your patronage, Comrade.

All you really need in terms of fonts is Times New Roman and Comic Sans.

 

[Table Country]

My father told me neo-nazis would tie a rope around my neck and drag me behind their pickups because they don't like the colour of my skin but at least I know they won't link me to any of your videos.

Next week we have Jim 'The Hangman of Harlem' Jones, famous nigger hunter of the Harlem wastes, who worked his trade for nigh on fifty years. We'll see how his verbiage has held up in his old age.

 

[Blackhole]

This man is a demon. I loathe him.

Well, how else are you supposed to use your freshly charged J.O. Crystals?

 

[Table Country]

From a thread about hand dryers:

I always shart in the dryer to maximize the bacterial load before running it.

Just wipe on your pants. Simple as.

No dryers, no towels, no sheets. Only Man.

I never use 'em. It's faster to just piss on my hands to get the water off.

Don't need to wash your hands if you just piss your pants.

 

[Brain Power]

Thank God, we can now see cow dildos.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Looks like she has a super wedgie from those weird-ass panties

america’s gonna have to get real cool about gay rape real quick ig

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Do lady cow orgasms even exist?

So T is stored in the balls? This is why we use the NATO alphabet.