random_text.txt

[quackrock]

Catherine is open about her extremely normal hobbies and interests which include furries, diapers, catgirls, My Little Pony, Harry Potter, Lilo and Stitch, inflation, gigantism, lactation, feet, urine, BDSM, dilation, girldick, exhibitionism, hypnosis, humiliation, fishing, castration, roller coasters, cremation, prolapsed anuses, pool toys, and of course, gaming.

Blocked & Reported episode on the Tranch, timestamp 43:25:

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/the-te...gue-phillip-matthew-logue.86681/post-15320488

 

[Mr Bunny]

I would rather die than touch a vagina.

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

He deserves to die gurgling and screaming as the Wendigo demands he eat another strip mall burrito.

 

[Table Country]

they're going to quote me on your tombstone when im done with you

Niggas gon' be goin pop pop pop, watchin crackers drop. This gonna be Waco-nda.

idk what the context is but I assume that Destiny is a natural Spanish speaker thinks molest means annoy

I don't like him, but I don't want to see him slaughtered in the name of Allah.

The Oedipal Industrial Complex™

Once we get to the point kiwis are writing scat fan fiction about Lucas' wiping technique, the thread has gone downhill.

!!! IT'S PSYCHOLOGY FAGGERIN' TIME !!!

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

Hey I gotta give it to the spokesperson who exposed me. Your fuckin hilarious. Another thing. A little bit of your findings are innacurate. Another thing , I'm alot of things , but a pedo is not one of them . All I'm trying to do is profit somewhere somebody else is going to fill the void NO MATTER WHAT. It could be alot worse. Have a good one

You guys I see will never stop. Nor will u understand . Listen , I made my decision as a man knowing it's dam near selling my soul. But let that be for my to comment on .. Nobody said this was right. But Shit . You guys go ahead and let me take a look and investigate you. You can sit and act like your some type of saint, Knowing your not. You guys honestly are barking up the wrong tree.. because I could really give a fuck less ..

 

[Gentlebastard]

The most embarrassing part of this is admitting your boyfriend is a poo in loo, anon or not.

They're both very audibly "left wing milieu." It's worth it for the content. (The furry who works for them I can barely tolerate, however.)

A ranch full of mentally unstable dickless men waving guns around. While trying to tend to in impossible number of economically unviable animals. This has been a beautiful tragedy worthy of Shakespeare

>not being able to tell the difference between parallel and perpendicular

Stay safe, my Kiwi friends.

From https://kiwifarms.net/threads/2023-security-check-up-reminder.155172/#post-15356416 :

Hello again friends. It's me again here to remind you to not be retarded.

Hacked in fucking Minecraft. Lol

I'd sooner lick an AIDS patient than download anything from someone on here

People can't hack your nudes if you never take any.

It's like that cake is asking for it, for me to come and inhale it, commanding me like a hypnotist.

Also I would never use a password manager. I generate long passphrases and keep them on a physical piece of paper. Good luck hacking a sheet of cellulose glowniggers. And good luck guessing which random string of schizo text is a password for which account and which ones are just meaningless babble.

They don't want to commit suicide, they want to be euthanized. They're so selfish that they want someone else to do the dirty work for them. Redditors are so impotent they can't even kill themselves right.

Who thought that the smartest person in this whole tale would turn out to be the propane salesman.

a shit it's a copypasta but still I've met people like this

Never fuck with the propane man. They are quick, clean, and brutally efficient at what they do.

Obviously this is just speculation and total guesswork based on the fact that these are mentally unstable people who have a lot of access to weapons.

EDIT: I'm retarded

Welcome to the farms. We're all retarded down here.

it's against my religion to pay retail

would it kill you to link the damn farms next time you base a damn episode on our work? I don't get paid for sitting with my thumb up my arse reading KF, what makes you special?

All the journalists did the time tested way of finding the truth: asking the delusional idiots involved and uncritically believing everything they said while neither checking nor thinking about the plausibility or probability of any of it.

It's always an animae PFP.

He’s a disabled French (?) guy who powermods a bunch of subreddits

I mean, can you imagine a lower form of life? I'd rather be reincarnated as a disabled cockroach. Lol. Lmao even.

I feel like I'm a paparazzi or a tabloid writer when I post here. This site is basically TMZ for insane internet people.

Sure buddy, sure!

All those films and erotic novels where women aren’t wearing underwear because they’re hot and horny are just lies, right?

Next you’ll try to tell us that women don’t have amazing full body orgasms.

LIES!

 

[Procopius]

The selection pressure humans are under is not that strong, but still my intuitions expect that 400-800 years is enough to see moderate psychological changes.

Ashkenazi Jews are confirmation of this: 800yrs isolation+selection for success in financial jobs, resulting in increased intelligence, particularly verbal intelligence (with the side effect of several genetic diseases).

Everything to Save It

 

[Anne Hyroe]

It's like stealing candy from a retard. They won't remember in 30 minutes anyway.

>I recognize those shit stains
I hate this thread.

He's some Filipino emo 45 year old who teaches English in Japan and lives in a graveyard.

IP2 is, as ever, a melting pot of friendship faggotry

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I’m not removing my penis from your ass.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

@BargainBinLadenEchidna’s have four headed penises so I bet you think you hit the jackpot but alas, they can only ejaculate one at a time.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

i'll admit, "centipedes in MY vagina?" and "i've been dead for seven years" are such absurd things to say to a (presumed) stranger that i breathed a little harder out my nose

 

[／Ｏｕｒ Ｌａｄｄｉｅ／]

Hopefully bird seed isn't his last meal.

 

[vomitusdeux]

Diaper Fonzerelli, a friend of Pamperchu through the Babyfur and ABDL community, uploads a video memorial dedicated to Pamperchu:

If you're seriously going to sit here and discuss the logistics of robbing someone's grave I think you need a break

Piss, pus, what's the difference when it comes to gender surgery amirite

A Buddhist who references the Bible, has a cross tattooed on his face, and (allegedly) now goes by the name "Satan Sent Me."
Yeah I think his only actual religion is meth.

I volunteer. I read to special needs kids once, so I know how to deal with retards.

imagine having to suck dick so you can get the chance to suck dick

I think forcing Japan to surrender at the end of WWII under the threat of Atomic Hellfire broke something in the Japanese national psyche.
They had a Warrior culture that saw surrender as the ultimate shame, something so bad that at Okinawa women were throwing themselves and their babies off cliffs rather than surrender. They also saw their Emperor as a living God, and then we glassed two of their cities and McArthur made Hirohito get on his knees and suck his dick and beg for forgivness (ok not literally but to the Japs national psyche it was as good as).
So you had this death before dishonor warrior culture that finds itself utterly humilated, their living God turned into a bitch, and to add to the injury they were forbidden to even have any army at all by the new constitution forced on them.
So all these centuries of pride and tradition were erased with the stroke of a pen.
They were lost, so they turned to throwing themselves into work. Work and cooming and the more they felt isolated by Salaryman Culture and the more the birthrates went down the more they turned to cooming, and it got worse and worse, till now they're such an island of weirdos they have to have female only trains because they have perverts that take advantage of being crammed like sardines to dry hump womens legs as they are trapped, and the "keep your head down, dont stand out" culture means no one speaks up.
They've become a lost and increasingly degenerate nation, with the highest suicide rate of any industrialized nation on Earth, but their getting their own back because coomerism is contagious, its a mind virus, and with the rise of the interconnected world facilitated by the Internet, they're getting their revenge for Hiroshima by spreading and infecting us with their gross anime coomer shit.
You couldn't make this up lol

Please don't.
I also slid into her™ DMs and sent a dick pick. Then she™ sent me hers™.
I broke down and cried like a janny on payday, when I saw her™ dick was bigger and her™ balls had thicker veins.
Don't shame me any further, my brother in simp.

also i learned i may not be as neurotypical as i suspected

You guys are just jealous about the upgraded vagina with a built in shit deflector. Now he can continue to wipe back to front and all you can do is seethe.

I sometimes see the extremely wrinkly ballsack vagina lookin fellas think "how could you knowingly get that done. That's clearly balls." Then this fucker comes along looks like he started with a completely flat crotch region that they had to drill into and put a little slit at the top for pressure relief or something. That's absolutely bizarre. Especially no sign of attempted covering/protective skin of any sort.

These would be less unsettling if they literally just punched a hole in the dude's perineum.

The attempts to create ridges and folds look so monstrous. There's a butcher shop near me that sells ground pork sausage by the pound, and in the sausage display case, they've sculpted little pig faces with the ground meat. It's supposed to be cute but I think it's a bit morbid. Anyhow, the ground pig meat looks more like an actual pig face than the ground-up man meat looks like a female punani.

The pale skin of the subject and gaping hole just makes me think of cleaning out a turkey for Thanksgiving. Especially the bottom part, the scrotum tissue looks like bumpy skin where the feathers would be. Fuck I need shots of vodka after seeing this one.

Most nitpicky shit ever - why is there a hole for the belly button? Does anyone find that sexy?

Welcome to the farms. We're all retarded down here.

"Alright Kat it's your turn to snake the amhole"

Fuck I just defended California someone please murder me.

You're saying it's his turn to suck the cock? Eye for an eye and all that

Well, him being black would probably explain alot.

Rancher is our word, but you can say Rancha.

I'll bet you $50 you can't drink a full glass of this fine cheese.

I got start taking my meds again. I'm shitposting with imaginary people again.

>A zoomer gets absolutely BTFO'd for trying to make online friends
>Byuu dies a second time (for reals this time)

Lordy, the nipples are not even the right size, and holy hell, I think even I could make the incisions more symmetrical. I never understand why these gender blobs are gung-ho about getting a botched mastectomy due to 'muh dysmorphia' but are not dysmorphic about being a fat fuck.

I just showed my grandma this. She asked WHAT IS THAT?! I told her and she covered her face with her hands. She said that’s nasty. Don’t look at that mess. Lmao

One nipple's fishin and the other one's lookin for worms

The big pulpy self harm mess in your underwear is just that.

Little billy, youre grounded for 2 months because you installed Freddy Fish on the family computer and got my A-lawg site compromised.

Is she gonna twerk and play the flute for the trannies so they can get laid or something?

I was fine with the packers, I was fine with the ear gauges, I was even fine with the retarded hairstyle. But fucking crocs? Worst Man Ever.

Oh yah I forgot that Chris was Jesus.

Fags will be breeding like zealous catholics

That dog's anal virginity is even more of a foregone conclusion than Twilight turning up alive.

All that jizz down its the throat is going to accumulate and gum up its parts and collect mold and bacteria that will hopefully result in a lethal infection.

I bet in that room, it smells like old cheddar lobster biscuits and motor oil.

Except no one wants to penetrate that hole.

Maybe a nose job if you have a giant Jew honker.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

...Wait, what is it with British men named Jim?

So much fat. So many trannies. So. Much. Horror.

 

[Big Nasty]

From the trials and tribulations of the world's ugliest man:

his penis suddenly expanded and he was rushed to the hospital

 

[Snusmumriken]

tfw you keep getting arrested for necrophilia and are sick having it brought up in interviews over and over and over like it's some big moral taboo or whatever idk who cares like, fuck it. next tat inspo

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Always get tested before engaging in consensual Minecraft modding.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Leave it to a fed poster to not know the effectiveness of ammo.

all they know how to do is eat hot chip , glow on forums, and charge they phone. View attachment 4730818

 

[Zero Day Defense]

oogey boogey wants his penis back

 

[Soggy paper straw]

Fun fact: my designated sex towel is my old My Little Pony beach towel, and it feels like the cum always lands on Pinkie Pie's face.

Spoiler

From the Fanfiction Horrors thread https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fanfiction-horrors.7626/post-15363781