random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Law]

We are spectators here. If you can't help yourself, then please do us a favor and go die.

Why don’t you go play a nice game of “Hide and go Fuck Yourself.”

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

In this hypothetical scenario, the use of the word "nigger" to disarm the nuclear bomb is only one of many possible solutions. However, it is important to consider the potential consequences and sensitivities surrounding the use of such a term.

 

[Need4Sneed]

Nobody deserves the indignity of having their funeral archived on Kiwifarms.

https://archive.ph/2T8gN

 

[Procopius]

I have a teddy bear, and I use it to have detailed breastfeeding simulations

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/tranny-sideshows-on-social-media.33028/post-16087405

 

[Aunt Carol]

If you’re gonna bring Malcolm X into your bullshit, the least you could do is put on some fucking pants.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

It's unnerving. We're able to get real-time photos of the inside of Momokun's ass and we can't get something like this.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Hard to find some dude who could or would want to do that trench run just to penetrate his thermal exhaust port with his photon torpedo.

This is not a harassment forum, we don't harass people despite what Taylor Lorenz and keffals might have told you. We document and laugh.

Stop trying to tip the cow bitchnigger. He's fat and stupid enough on his own

We're here to laugh at retards, not instigate them.

as soon as I slightly pozload my neghole you fags start to sperg out

Do you want Null to lock this thread again? Because that's how you get him to lock the thread again.

There're a TON of powerful, demented freaks out there who want this website gone off of the internet.

Dear Feeder allows it out of his autistic commitment to freedom of speech, which is commendable in a way, if foolhardy.

This is the longest most homosexual attempt at humblebragging I have ever seen.

now I hate them all of them

we're right and correct but they hate the gamer word culture we have

Null is the angel of death and all of his lolcows he covers on MATI that I like following, they end up dying, imprisoned, or on their way to adding to the 41% troon statistic.

Redditoids will choose assisted suicide over the gym & touching grass, and those are the people whose ideas we’re supposed to restructure all of society around wow

I love you retards so much sometimes.

Any criminal would just hang up a sign like that and when called be like, "Yeah, no officer, everything is a-okay" and then go back to grinding black children into pepperonis.

 

[Betonhaus]

But I want to be mad that they exist and have wrong opinions, unlike this, the good thread which is a fortress of unassailable truth.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Thank you for these weapons in the ongoing internet race war, friends.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Hold onto your foreskins everyone, it's getting mighty spicy!

 

[Gog & Magog]

And he describes how his Irish-American aunt Gertie Finnegan once told him: 'Your father is not a bad man. He's just English.'

 

[stupid frog]

Charlie Coal is a dumb nigger.

eta: go back to reddit, nigger lovers

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

But it was dismissed voluntarily and definitely not because they told him they had his nuts in a vice and they were going to start squeezing if he didn't drop it.

Imagine living with this doofus.

Oof. Being made fun of by Tumblr is like getting mocked by the nerd in class... and the class cheers the nerd. Even Tumblr makes fun of Tumblr.

Musk=Nazi.

the Power of Anime and Autism

Oh man I really wanna see the germans try and enforce this.

 

[Betonhaus]

I'm going to guess that the only quotes selected are the ones that, outside of context, are still hilarious or at least somewhat amusing.

 

[Local Fed]

So lets be racist for a minute

NO... NO! I DON'T WANNA BE ALBANIAN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I work with a white woman who dates a black guy. You can take a guess at her weight.

A black teenager shouted at me during a screening of Cars 2 once...
I ate his liver with Fava Beans and a nice grape Fanta.

As The Last Stand would say, "I don't get it."

Sometimes I pretend to be a girl online to get money from simps. The next time you see someone online claiming to be female, just know that it might be me.

Would you like to join our neighborhood watch? We could use your energy.

Yawn. Wake me up when someone gets guillotined.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I lost one of my balls a while back when it turned brown and stinky seemingly randomly

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

"You'll never be a real poet, you have no rhythm ot meter, you can't even make a haiku."

 

[Gentlebastard]

I think MPD are struggling to find the culprit because the first question they would ask is "who has a grudge against this guy?" and that only narrows down the search to every single human being who has ever had the displeasure of interacting with him.

His body operates off Mr Burns immune system logic.

Time ravages us all but Jesus Christ

I can't believe we ever doubted the power of the wendigo. This man is absolutely going to be filming as a head in a jar.

If you're a straight man, there's literally no reason for you to be posting about K-pop

I've been operating under the assumption that I'm relatively normal.

We dox, not because we want to encourage people to fuck with a cow, but because we have an autistic desire to learn all we can about the cow.

Sure, we're all retarded faggots, but

If you're a racemixing pedo who is obsessed with porn and politics, just stay on /pol/.

Watching an obvious man mince around like that is a farce and should be relegated to comical interludes.

Oh man we missed out on the careless troon gets disemboweled by pissed off murder bird arc.

He'd burn for a while too; he's fat, you see.

It's a shame, she used to be sorta cute, in a redneck, trailer trash way.

Yet another young woman transitioned into a cenobite.

I wonder if the goats have bullied an alpaca into starving to death yet.

 

[quackrock]

We've known them only for a couple hours and behind closed doors the troon immediately brings up oviposition and kept talking to my spouse about how they wanted to get anally impregnated/raped by... something bee related? And it only kept getting worse from there.

 

[Shard]

Sam Hyde raped a child behind an Arby's in 1995 and refuses to hold the door open for women.
Source? Fuck you that's the source.