random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

... are they calling me gay?

No were calling you a shit writer and more importantly a shit person.

Anybody who says that should be banned from cooking and dragged to The Hague.

Massive Semper Fi. Exemplary archival work. This is what all Kiwis should aspire towards.

$100/hour of work for potential felony charges sounds way too cheap.

“Excuse me, sir. I was told you’re having a sale on bomb threats?” Next there will be an issue of Consumer Reports devoted to evaluating SWAT services.

"I want, like, 100 or so bomb threats, can I get a discount?"

Salmonella ahoy.

that downtime was horrible. i had no one to tell me if patrick s tomlinson is fat.

Yeah but it's funnier that he destroyed his phone on accident by being a fat retard so that's what I choose to believe.

I've learned my lesson and I will never think "he can't be THAT stupid" again.

He's exactly the right blend of fat, stupid, scheming, and self absorbed to land himself in this situation.

It's not "how would a rational person think this would benefit themself" it's "how would a rage-filled drunk who just found out that he can pay a stranger to SWATT anyone for $50 react near-blackout drunk at 2am when he gets himself into a hate lather over that bird site".

Man, you're way more optimistic about these people's depth of thought than I am.

I've written fictional caricatures that were exaggerated on purpose, that are less over-the-top than this.

straddles that fine line betweed dumb as fuck and clinically retarded

no one could be this stupid and fat but yet here we are.

 

[Aunt Carol]

For all the books many hilarious faults, this paragraph does actually manage to make me want waffles.

Does asbestos even know what an incel is? He listed things that are enjoyed by people who fuck.

Alas, allow me to introduce yet another rectangular autist who thinks he is a woman.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

.Stoners are the niggers of recreational substance users and we should put them in camps. Maybe even special camps that will help them concentrate, you know because the weed destroyed their attention spans.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

First of all, how dare you.

Real men backpack the Appalachian Trail.

He's an inspiration to Downie Hispanic and black children everywhere showing that you shouldn't let your limitations stand in the way of your dreams and genetic destiny.

Finally a chance to use the short prison bus

Surely, if tax credits for donating venison and growing oysters are acceptable in Maryland, so too should be a tax credit for my diarrhea.

Man, I think even after 15 vodka gimlets I cant waltz into place and demand free shit. One time I got a pube I think in my Cold stone sample and ever then I was like “Ehaaa… could be my girlfriend. Don’t wanna start none.”

My brain can't comprehend this. I'm not even joking. It's like he deboned and blood eagle'd a rat. It looks like like slimy, bleached black panties. It looks like a kid threw up cotton candy and fudge on a moldy sidewalk. It's like you curb stomped a sheep's heart then left it to rot in a swamp. I seriously don't know what I'm looking at.

You can't just tease 130 clips of kids beating the shit out of each other and not deliver.

It's troons who make me hating troons.

your body itself is just fungible meat lego

I'm glad most kiwis have working junk. Keep up the good wank.

After sharing these images on Twitter, I was contacted by the Vancouver office of a prominent Jewish organization, whose leadership (understandably) found the Mr. Bean/Holocaust slide to be in extremely poor taste.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Unsurprisingly some coombrain outed himself to his wife about his love for teenage dino pussy.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Re: meat lego

Generally speaking, having sex with your kids is frowned upon by most of society.

Why the fuck would any woman be able to fit a cutie orange up her hole? I can't* and I've pushed babies out of it FFS.

*At least I don't think so. I do have a bag of tangerines in the fridge but I'm not that dedicated to truth and internet stickers.

 

[BirdUp]

 

[Return of the Freaker]

At this point Null has become something of prophet for the demise of western civilization.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

yiiiikes, i heard that site is transphobic af

 

[NoReturn]

Nutsack cracklings would be a winner, IMHO.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

The nose-horn coupled with those anime eyes make me want to pee.

 

[Terffals]

Like the bird in his avatar he flits from topic to topic, openly defecating his loose and runny opinions on pedestrians.

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

 

[Tablet County]

I don't post on /tg/ because I actually play games

Mind Flayers have their hive-mindedness de-emphasized because the comparison might be offensive to the Chinese.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

@Adalwulf ay yo are you gonna finish your fries, bro?

 

[Sprate Header]

i think maybe i have autism probably got it from the multiple vaccines i had as a kid

 

[NerdShamer]

I got bashed on this autistic forum for defending those with armpit fetishes (Pitricians); it's one of the most normal fetishes out there, given its association with pheromones along with it being focused on a region of the body that normally isn't seen unless the person in question dresses somewhat revealingly

 

[Aunt Carol]

I don't know what your mom was doing but I find tuna casserole to be pretty luxurious.

 

[Betonhaus]

This thread has been great for finding drama

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Ladies, rank your uterus on a scale from kumquat to pomelo.