random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Alex Krycek]

This is just something from a person I know on FB. It was too perfect to not post sorry.

“Has anybody seen my Pastel rainbow colored stuffed bunny rabbit? He has 6 eyes. I just realized I haven't seen him in a while and he is one of my favorite plushies.”

 

[Betonhaus]

This is just something from a person I know on FB. It was too perfect to not post sorry.

“Has anybody seen my Pastel rainbow colored stuffed bunny rabbit? He has 6 eyes. I just realized I haven't seen him in a while and he is one of my favorite plushies.”

I feel like that's an obscure reference to something

 

[Alex Krycek]

I feel like that's an obscure reference to something

He is literally a flaming pansexual.

But maybe. I’m also somebody who never watches TV except for sports and news.

 

[Pedophobe]

2023 is all about violating boundaries*

 

[Meat Target]

nothing says "I'm not violent" like screaming in caps lock at total strangers

 

[Zero Day Defense]

I mean sure everybody gets horny. My point is this dude is really assblasted because I assume either people made fun of him for popping a boner over a tomato or do not share his boner popping enthusiasm regarding the tomato

 

[Gentlebastard]

Kiwis don't piss on my vegetable garden.

They do sometimes congregate and shout racial slurs at 2 am, but cats fucking is still worse.

> “A-List stars”
> Amy Schumer

Lol.

No, fuck this guy. The coomers have sunk to a new low and somehow managed to turn pizza toppings into anime girls.

"Try to stop me following your little girl into the bathroom and I'll kill you!" said the very sane totally-not-a-predator.

Think of all the advice that you clean up and remove overly-personal items like photos so buyers can mentally place themselves and their family in the home. That's the opposite of a surly hemiplegic goblin glaring at buyers like they're a lookie-loo at his very important yard sale.

If you were tasked with making up something this stupid you wouldn't be able to. It almost looks like the product of a Markov chain.

I really enjoy the idea of a few dozen fans of a decade-gone radio show infiltrating a police department just to send welfare checks to the hovel.

I don’t think simply having a kiwifarms thread is a big deal for anyone well-known online, but seeing it grow mightily is definitely a sign to stop.

The pepperoni maker of liberty needs to be refreshed with the blood of black children and stalkers.

From @GaryBussy on the chat:

schizobabble is graffiti for autists that can't draw, change my mind

It's like a Faustian bargain but then it turns out they had no souls to give.

Canada is like your retarded little brother who you gave the unplugged control to play with.

clearly throws off the vibes of those living hemorrhoids who leave preaching tracts disguised as currency as "tips" for servers.

You just know some tranny saw this and said "is anybody else grossed out that this cis man is so eager to beat up a bunch of afab people?" with zero irony

I would legit bid $500 to see a pair of wild turkeys or a gaggle of geese relentlessly attack Jagoff when he was alone at the park

The brothermen have given me so many keks that I've started listening to old supercuts of Opie & Anthony. It does not disappoint. It's like Kiwi Farms before Kiwi Farms.

I love their idea of a hoarders game show, where they get a suitcase and 10 minutes to gather their most prized possessions, before their shithole houses are torched.

I’ve had enough of you ASKING LOGICAL QUESTIONS and trying to get to the FACTS. STOP ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT MY CRIMINAL HISTORY!

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I’VE HAD TO LIE ABOUT MY POLICE REPORT? DOYOUHAVEANYIDEA.

Hmm. For some reason it upsets him when people ask about the time he was convicted of making terroristic (death) threats against his wife and infant daughter.

What a bunch of snowflakes. That was three years ago! No one cares!

just too much of a fawking KiwiFag to get all the lore, I guess.

I might actually shit my pants in joy.

obtained by dark arts as yet unrevealed

I hope you get paralyzed in a car wreck. IN SPACE. Futurama ass nigger.

"Boy this is worse than that time I became a tranny"

Know that when you stare into super hon, super hon stares into you.

It still accomplished what it did with vastly more primitive technologies and design capabilities than SpaceX. It also had a giant red tube, I like the giant red tube.

They know that ordinary people are currently like a pibble that is chained to a tree and one of the links of the chain is made out of a Doublemint wrapper and a paperclip. It's only going to take the smallest provocation (like a baby in a stroller passing the pibble) to set things into motion that are going to be hard to stop.

Every night I choose a KF member at random and sneak into their bedroom while they are asleep. I then place a single cat hair on their tongue and leave without waking them. I never sex them

Elliot Rodger became a meme unto himself and allegedly is a folk hero to incel groups which I will blindly hope is just intense shitposting.

>I'm a public figure and well known author
>I'll do anything to be famous
>Waaaa they're obsessed with me

 

[Zero Day Defense]

My eight year old told me yesterday that when she grows up, she will be a millionaire and the first thing she will do with the money is go to Paris and fill the Eiffel Tower with cheese to find out how much cheese it holds. This is still a more realistic goal than "become a man".

 

[Meat Target]

Have any of these weird obsessive freaks ever considered that maybe people can independently find their incessant spamming of schizophrenic gibberish annoying and report it independently?

 

[Law]

Who fucking knows though, chris chan fucked his mom, anything is possible

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

I know last time his dick got posted everyone called his penis autistic.

 

[Sperghetti]

The grass is green, the sky is blue, there's a dick between my legs, I am free of worry.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Oh also for you pizzafags out there: you can and should leave your pizza out of the fridge and in the box for up to several hours if you plan on coming around for another pass. It will not spoil (unless you put mystery prizes from a gumball machine on it) and it will still be pretty darn good.

The moment you put that fucker in the fridge, it will never be even close to as good as it was. Don't be afraid to leave it out a while. The most important thing is to CLOSE THE FUCKING BOX after you get your slice.

If you leave the box open, I will put you in a box.

Sylvia just had the audacity to call us out for sleeping alone at night, I will personally see that she doesn't have a bed for six weeks Inshallah

Large, angry, vindictive chickens. Thousands of 'em.

Jon is way too low IQ to properly articulate these points, even if I agree with them.

i miss fatpeoplehate

I'm not bothering to watch, just following the thread. It's pretty much the clip show with added snark.

He's eating the fucking pizza sideways. Has this nigger never seen a pizza?

Makes sense it's the Chinese that train operatives to push environmentalism in the west.

Every 8 pages there's gotta be the one guy here that wants the girls to have dicks, really speaks for society don't it

I hate jewish people so much it's unreal.

I experience racism all the time, from a first-person perspective.

 

[damian]

https://twitter.com/DoctorCumFart/status/1649491718750851089?s=20

Unironically, those are Cum supplements. I Cummaxing myself and recognize those labels, he's using Pygeum and I'm hoping Sunflower Lecithin instead of Soy Lecithin. His stack is very amateurish though, he won't get proper results.

 

[Sawamura Simp]

I really enjoy the idea of a few dozen fans of a decade-gone radio show infiltrating a police department just to send welfare checks to the hovel.

Felony tweeting
Felony posting
Felony text messaging
Felony voodoo doll injuring
Felony bar visiting
Felony drawing

The dominos are in order stalkers, wait for the knock

"Unemployed LinkedIn socialist who is a janny for HR" is the ultimate avatar of the globo homo regime.

 

[Gog & Magog]

The good news is I am completely irrelevant

If you love white people, then tell us directly.

 

[Anonitolia]

Sir I'm gonna need to ask you to take that down you stole my character

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

Omg you guys are right. These are the stroke muffins.

 

[Spud]

I, as a community labeled pedo, agree to this.

 

[Gentlebastard]

If someone swatted my parents, I wouldn’t be on social media, I’d be offline dealing with the problem and checking on them. Twitter wouldn’t be on my mind. I guess I’m not a cool tough guy.

"Unemployed LinkedIn socialist who is a janny for HR" is the ultimate avatar of the globo homo regime.

Null's worst nightmare becomes a reality and he is forced at gunpoint by UN peacekeepers to open the vaunted Pat board.

Meanwhile the redditor gently caresses his partner's side in a soft and possibly homoerotic manner, displaying a weak constitution and a avaricious addiction to updoots.

Reddit is possibly the best example of what happens when you don't grow out of the "fuck you mom and dad" mentality.

You become so libertine you end up watching your best friend plow your sister while you fuck a Pikachu plushie and choke yourself.

I got scolded twice for being behind work because laughing at his fat fuck took way too much of my time.

I'm currently getting a kick out of people in the reddit thread about this, bending over backwards to blame "Conservatives" and "the South" for a black MtF prostitute being murdered in Atlanta on MLK Jr Blvd in the middle of the night.

guy literally paid for video game screenshots, there's no artistry involved.

I never really use the word "degeneracy"...but nothing else suffices right now.

The way he moved his right arm at the beginning is unsettling.

It was instinctively looking for the bag of cheese that Jack keeps nearby when he usually cooks.

that dead eye starts rolling like a watermelon down Mt. Everest

Rating: 4 out of 5 comorbidities.

Omg you guys are right. These are the stroke muffins.

You can tell that he is legitimately traumatised at the insulting portion he has been served, and needs eternal proof of this affront to the wendigo.

Yes; you are a fat fuck, that much is obvious, but you don’t have to act like one all the time.

If you’re bleeding from your eyeballs when they triage you‘re bumped to the front. If you shit yourself because of too much butter flavor on your popcorn, they‘re going to make you sit in it for a while, while dealing with real patients.

I swear, this man is physically incapable of learning. He's the world's dumbest A.I

It will never cease to amaze or amuse me how little effort it takes to get this sub-80 IQ 1.2 GPA retard to respond like a dead frog's leg attached to a galvanic battery.

Oooh, he won't be popular with his commie trans Twitter pals when they find out he's going to be a filthy landlord (again).

How will he hide the line of dark-complexioned individuals coming to flatulate in his wife's lady bits?

purposefully using meat shields other than his double chin and his glory hole of a wife

There is no such thing as "debt courts", child, the only courts are the ones you'll be seeing between the knock and your enjoyment of prison for felonious telephone harassment, felonious bar entering, felonious hiding behind trucks across the street, felonious publication of A Christmas Carol sequels on Amazon and conspiracy to commit felonious podcasting while under criminal investigation.

Even another nuke is nicer than making Japan follow this bullshit.

Lmao I have bad credit.

Premium nigger loan here I come.

Why even try to act right and not be a burden on society at this point.

Portland pastry chef mauled by off-leash dog, dog's handler promptly ODs on fentanyl

This is the most Portland headline I have ever seen

Excuse me? Your dog mauls me and puts me in the hospital I should have the right to take you and your shitbull to a [fed post redacted] and [fed post redacted].

It just perfectly captures the aesthetic of globohomo cities, all that's missing is a troon trying to groom a kid.

“Lol” said the Lord “imao” he continued.

Honestly, we should euthanize all pit bulls.

And the owners as well.

And homeless junkies.

And Portland.