random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Quickfix]

Imagine waking up early because the damn birds shat so heavily that they set off your car alarm, so you put on some pants, go outside, and find some grown-ass dude is licking it clean.

 

[Gentlebastard]

also says "Zee", not "Zed", outing himself as Trans-Canadian

The FBI will be knocking down his door when they hear about this super-crime.

Other legit objections to cilantro have been raised which I won’t repeat.

should be shot for opening the bread that way. Why open it that way? I can’t even fathom a reason.

Reddit actually makes me fucking seethe. I don't want to though; I want to sneed.

NIGGA WE BACK!

I know 4chan has been a shell of itself since the early 10s but what kind of psychopaths are posting there alongside me?

I need to know if this fucker's still fat as fuck.

He also famously made the "HK. Because you suck. And we hate you." copypasta that many people in the gun community will recognize. I haven't seen this dude in years and here he is Patposting. What a world.

fucking retard admits to never removing the membrane on ribs. He seriously needs a beating.

Going to Milwaukee voluntarily is worse than even being black.

Journocaust when.

I just wana say that I really missed you retards. You're like the autistic family I never knew I needed.

the deathfat FTM who sorta passes as a short fat MTF with a baby fetish

faster than you can say niggeroni

 

[Pissmaster]

This is great, Boogie is getting punched repeatedly in his fat stupid face. I could watch this every day.

 

[LurkTrawl]

She looks like she had an M80 shoved elbow deep in her snatch and detonated with a Raufoss round.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Like I said, I have seen girls licking shit dildos. This was awful.

The Cartels get based every once in a while.

HAHAHAHAHA

CHOOSE, YE MENTALLY ILL LIBERALS!

CHOOSE, BETWEEN THE CLIMATE AND THE WOMAN.

YE CANNOT CHOOSE BOTH! CHOOSE THE FORM OF YOUR DESTRUCTOR

HAHAHAHAHAHA

fuck troons but not in the way they wanna be fucked

Dishwashers have been becoming notably worse over the years. We've clearly peaked as a civilization, and are witnessing things falling apart, first slowly, later not.

do you have a license for that high capacity high lethality ecologically unsafe dishwasher?

I saw a dude yesterday kitted out in all black with a "HAIL SATAN" t-shirt and a "RESIST AUTHORITY" ballcap, but he's still wearing the mask. It was like a parody.

Well, I guess Grandma is going to die again.

After seeing that, I'll never say "people aren't gullible enough to fall for ________" again. There is no limit to human credulity.

"How dare non-regulars show up to talk about this -- our very special conversation -- in this -- our very special members-only club that's wide open to the public to anyone who registers an account for free and anonymously!"

It sucks and I hate it, but I have an autistic need to sperg about things online.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, but I know better than to trust whatever bullshit spews out of a tranny's mouth for more than one second.

Glad to be back on. Hatewatching was not the same without you guys.

You'll be learning real Miranda rights on your way to enjoying prison for felonious listening to and felonious forum posting about felonious podcasts.

Sure, because he's clearly not as retarded as his father. But that doesn't change the fact that he's still a retard.

That was retarded, but I don't hold it against you. We all do strange things when the Farms are down.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Are there any downsides to removing testicles?
ARE THERE ANY DOWNSIDES TO REMOVING TESTICLES?

 

[Spud]

>be black
>threaten violence against a small white girl

many such cases, very sad

 

[Meat Target]

Is it me or did he grow another chin this week?

 

[Useful_Mistake]

You're doing your racism all wrong and we expect better from you, Zorba.

I hope this helps you to be a better racist in the future

 

[Gentlebastard]

Congratulations. You went up against a troon and you lost. They said it couldn't be done.

Nigger thanks for making me laugh so hard.

It will be interesting to see a book about military sci fi african border wars right next to the YA novels of two black dudes buck breaking eachother at Barns and Noble, thats for sure

Those damned teens.
Wait a minute. I think they mean niggers.

The girl's nugget-induced screams were played in court.

I have now hunched over from vigorous laughter from a 4-year-old autistic girl receiving second-degree burns from a chicken McNugget.

Have I any humanity left, I ask you?

You can spot a Communist by their nice clothes, fancy German cars, exclusive dinner buffets and a desire to ruin the lives of everyone except the people in their inner circle.

See, silly? By typing it, it becomes true. You're so silly. And racist, and thus wrong by default, you double-wrong transphobe.

The goats are trying to make a break for it but their lack of opposable thumbs and knowledge about operating a car keeps them trapped with the alpacas.

They will allow kids being trafficked and raped, animals being tortured and raped but a site where we laugh at retards is a bridge too far. Clown world just keeps going on and on.

I would hate for my own incompetence to be the reason I am locked out of the Garden of Sneeden

I know that some of these have nudity. But, if I remember correctly, it was mostly done in a tasteful way like some conventional TV shows. Not in the anime way of "oops, I fell down some stairs and my crotch landed straight in your face bland-protagonist-kun".

 

[Dyn]

I am going to kill Joe Biden on December 24th

 

[Bored & Confused]

"In Austria, the technical problem is Hitler."

 

[Gentlebastard]

You don't understand why people shit on this obnoxious fat douche who is also an actual piece of shit and abandoned his daughter and threatened to kill her and his ex wife?

What he's employing here is a technique called lying to make himself look like not a failure but he's doing that poorly.

Keep this up and I'll add long pig to my diet. See if I don't.

I will kill and eat a Blue Helmet before I eat the bugs.

I'd be careful. You won't know where its been. If you eat a Blue Helmet, you're also eating every person they've ever raped, and you don't want to catch some horrid Third World disease.

Lest someone accuse me of being a crypto-vegan or something,

The thing common sense said was gonna happen but Experts said wouldn't happen because of their fancy book learning in academic halls detached from reality has happened.

wow

the question is who is more oppressed? The Islamic immigrants or the black queer? Quite the progressive stack conundrum

Trick question, the black queer can't be oppressed if the muslims already abducted him and gave him impromptu flying lessons.

I can smell the sub-70 IQ incest from the picture.

His official portrait looks like a racist caricature, I say elect him just to throw a bone to the political cartoonists.

I would like to see full street battles between hardline sharia police versus antifa and trannies.

There is no two versions of a story where a guy claims a bomb threat got called into a hotel he was in and the hotel denies it and somehow this doesn't even make local news.

Clearly this boy needed to do more math involving cookies and ovens.

If the future includes no workers to abuse, he wants no part of it.

She would be a babe if she could stop stuffing her fat mouth but alas, she is fat and I would not have sex with her.

He seriously called her a karen and did the twitter clapping meme IRL? That's really embarassing

I'm hearing rumors now they are using AI bots on 4chan to disrupt discussions. Saves money on the shills. They don't need to pay them anymore lol.

What's the deal with so many lolcows insisting that they are not fat?

Kevin getting annoyed at an “obvious llama” being called an alpaca.

Oh the irony.

You are the only person in the country who seems to get offended at the idea that you support someone you voted for and have used your platform to praise on multiple occasions.

From the Telegram channel:

What I'm saying is, trannies are the 9-11 of the Internet.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

I'm no-shit hyperventilating and sweating at this article. Burn in hell, Krugman, you lying Christ-killer son of a whore.

I hate niggers trannies Paul Krugman so much it's unreal.

 

[The Great Citracett]

 

[Meat Target]

A shovel and a shotgun can fix the Meth Fairy's friends.

 

[Positron]

What I'm saying is, trannies are the 9-11 of the Internet.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I don't think he has even read Harry Potter, because someone who has read Harry Potter at least understands how to name characters and structure sentences correctly.

Do not send them your fucking spegifesto.
(I know I'm pissing in the wind making this request)

A lot of problems in society can be solved by a combination of UBI and slab-city. Probably most problems actually.

Thanks for the big update on Kevin's new amhole!

That guy looks like the subject of an Anal Cunt song.

And suddenly all the incel troons on the ranch realized that sucking eachothers girldicks or licking amholes weren't actually all that great as they had convinced themselves it was.

They said there was no slippery slope. They said it was just for gay people and they were an exception.

More love is having a big family, getting a dog and devoting yourself to making other peoples lives better. You mean cooming constantly, you vile animal

New Sodom just dropped.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

It’s a refreshing break from the ocean of cursed anime degeneracy I’m otherwise exposed to on this site. He’s into shit like Star Trek, not “Rape Rape Pedo-Chan Adventures”.

 

[ComStar]

As a base of operations you cannot beat a fucking saloon.