random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Poonocchio]

Of course they give each other AIDS on purpose, as a treat.

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

It's not even 10 AM and I'm getting the doom pill shoved up my ass.

 

[Kaktus Kompot]

View attachment 5953151

Log off. Take a break. Enjoy prison.

 

[Drip Torch]

Are you say you don't want to fuck the >goomba with tits
View attachment 5942053

 

[CharlesBarkley]

Is it too much to hope that this will result in me no longer being bombarded with shitty larson vids whenever I search youtube for the latest Patrick S Tomlinson Fart erotica?

 

[Gentlebastard]

I'd crack skulls if someone stole my milk.

It seems he got himself a gender affirming wind tunnel

Just go back to pre ww2 conquest where if you're going to conquer a people, fucking finish the job.

I wonder how many outrages and lolsuits can be generated from this? I hope it's a lot.

Just be normal sometimes, it makes life a lot more enjoyable.

I have consulted many man with what may be white coats, and they assure me that he has bitch tits.

It would be - by my calculations - 78% less fun to call him a fat faggot if he didn't deny both so vigorously

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Replies are for real-life tough guys who sound like they've been arrested at multiple highway restrooms for peeking under stalls in the men's restroom while jacking their oafishly small genitalia.

Fuck them kids, they don't work, they're leeches on the economy.

Microsoft marketing embraces incel subculture to appeal to children, I guess.

one was initiated by the man because the wife said she was getting a divorce but the husband woke up at the ass crack of dawn to find an attorney anf gile while the wife slept in and went in the afternoon, only to find she'd been ninja'd

 

[Mutthole]

@Sentient Cloud:

a woman without a penis is like a angel without wings

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Oh my god it's a unicorn!

Ok chaps, time to play hardball. Putin can keep Ukraine but only on the very firm condition that he nuke San Francisco at least a dozen times. A single venture capitalist makes it out alive and the deal is off.

It can't be THAT hard to build a 50 foot murder robot, can it?

Gray shirts. Gray water.

Finally! I can quit my job and become the Deliverator.

So would you agree that a dog is capable of consent?

There are no experts in this field. Only hobbyists who prioritize their bird-watching over a real job.

God is not afraid of a busted incontinent man ass.

anti-milk niggers get the bullet

 

[gibbslets]

https://kiwifarms.st/attachments/1714503059707-png.5950146/

9/11 survivor side hustle

had me rolling

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

First off, I misspelled Jurgens in my initial post, and now I've gotten you to misspell it too, so I feel like a retard that's spread his misspelling AIDS around the thread

 

[Tablet County]

I hope in this one you have to stop the Joker, but halfway through the game it turns out he's actually the Joker. And then he pulls out a Joker that shoots little Jokers at you.

it's always just the lumpiest and ugliest people who say they've been raped multiple times over.

 

[Blindeye]

I felt I was singled out. I felt I had failed to let people perceive me as a woman in Uzbekistan.

 

[O Puffers Where Art Thou?]

Lots of great quobes in this video:

28:50 -- "When I was a kid and I started the whole Cobra Demon thing my dad would talk to me like I was a fuckin' crazy asshole, taking me to psychiatrists like 'Oh, he thinks he has demonic powers' and now that I'm a famous youtuber, my cult went somewhere."

29:33 -- "My dad's sitting there like 'I want to bond with my son' and I tried. I share my tactical soap with my dad. I let him make wands with me. Even though it's my wand business. He gave me shit on the whole Cobra Demon thing: 'You're a- YOU DON'T HAVE MAGICAL POWERS' he said but then turn around and as soon as I'm making magic wands to support myself now all of a sudden it's like 'Oh hey I want to support you and your business.' I'm like but you said I didn't have powers, you mocked me and told me I was psychotic and told me 'That's just your Asperger's.' "

37:26 -- "My dad can have a beer and nobody judges him but the second I have a Goddamned beer, I'm the fucking drunk autistic alcoholic piece of shit. Right?"

17:44 -- "I'm not saying my dad has to buy alcohol for me to support me but at the very least if your son's drunk and he's got a bunch of fans that want to buy him alcohol just be like 'Good job, bud. That's my boy. I'm proud of him. He did something with his life.' Instead of whatever the fuck this is now."

 

[Sugriva]

AnH is the single best board on this site. Users who use KF to follow lolcows are cringe and gay. Users who exclusively get their news from AnH are based and virile.

 

[Skitarii]

India is a loose confederation of 10 separate separatist terrorist organizations blowing buildings up

 

[Pedophobe]

"You're a bootlicker!" screeched the boot sucker around a mouthful of polished black leather.

It's so tough being a woman that even a man finds it hard to be a woman

Kiwifarms is educational. Sometimes in unfortunate ways.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

One man tried to do the needful and introduce skibidi toilet to his village, but the people were so enraged that they killed him for it. Truly an irredeemable people.

 

[Tablet County]

That may make perfect sense in your mind, but, having no access to your mind, it gives off "this was revealed to me in a dream" energy.

Really if we're playing the "apply modern cultural concepts to the Bible" game, I submit that Paul was absolutely on the spectrum.

I bet she wouldn't hate God if she watched Kingdom of Heaven

Why are all white supremacists smelly and brown?

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

Oh woe is me, I'm so scared. What are you gonna do? Fuck my dog?

I'd rather put my dick in a pot of molten metal

This is more filtered than water in the White House