random_text.txt

[Black Man Underwear]

If you haven't jacked off to genderbent paintings of Napoleon Bonaparte, have you truly lived?

 

[Dr. Butt]

It's just a shame that the lie has been around the world twice while the truth is getting its spunk-encrusted boxers back on.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

In the war between troons and... uh... simulated child sexual abuse cartoon streamers, nobody wins except us kiwis.

I swear men are dumber than fish. If I built a lobster trap big enough to fit a man and then hired a stripper to dance inside the cage I’d have 30 guys in two hours.

Between Ian’s greasy pedo hair, and Anisa combat boots and trailer park tattoos, they look like a white trash couple who were out looking for meth and somehow ended up crashing a fat Jews wedding.

You know, normally, when you find out that somebody is either a flatulence fetishist, or starts in flatulence pornography, that would be the worst thing you could learn about them. With this faggot though? It's just the fucking beginning.

If I lived in the area, I'd be seriously tempted to by-pass the "don't interact with cows" rule and call local authorities, because shit is grim.

On the other hand... lol, they gon' die. Who'll get eaten first?

As a side note, why are people at risk of freezing to death liking softcore furry porn on Twitter?

"It ended where it all began, with me plastering .wav files over videos of me squatting"

Imagine jackin it to a guy that drives a 20 year old Lincoln

You mean it wasn't a woman mechanic with 5000 hours in TF2?

It’s hard enough being a teenage white boy without the entire school knowing your dad is both Lolcow of the Year and threw away his family for another man. Ouch.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Doesn't seem like there's much tomboyish or genderbent about her besides the fact that she's from Minnesota.

“My sister was keeping this horrible secret about one of the most traumatic things that can happen to a child. What a bitch.”

 

[Gentlebastard]

If only they knew about the real harrowing issues Null gets into arguments about, like cheese.

OMFG, HAHAHAHA. So this fat retard is going to scoot over to strangers at a restaurant and gurgle and cough at them and demand they review the food for his video? Oh my god, I'm fucking done. I just can't after that.

I mean nothing beats a colonoscopy.

Only true auteurs can enjoy the subtle undertones of Patposting.

This may come as a shock to you but not everyone finds a garden variety gambling addict that funny.

Holy shit he looks and sounds like he has drunk himself throat cancer.

Internet fame is a hell of a drug..

Tammy uterus lore was not what I was expecting to learn when I woke up this morning, but hey!

They say that when a man like Jack has a vasectomy, it just changes the color of the baby.

If you go to a goth club, and see a guy standing 3 feet apart from anyone else, wearing a respirator in his face and a portable air purifier around his neck. It may be this young man, throwing caution to the wind and living it up.

YOLO!!!!

Remember: Fun is for suckers!

Thank god back in my youth the internet creeps just wanted to see your dick, not cut it off

Put her locked inside a lit room by herself and somehow she will find a way to ungainly flail her breasts around as she fights her own shadow.

Lolcows do not exist, stalker children, those are your delusions again.

I've seen pics of "normal" communal houses, and they're unholy wastelands, so I can't imagine the lurking horrors when you add trannyism to the mix.

Every pawnshop I've ever been too has always had one absurdly overpriced used Chinese SKS clone sitting on the shelf that never sells... I wonder what will fulfill it's valiant role 20 years from now?

He's the type that hears the word "boobs" and has to titter like a five year old would.

 

[Tablet County]

Rabbis are the second highest order in the satanic heirachy, second only to fat cheese-hating floridians who live in serbia

Men Are From Mars, Jesus Is From Venus

 

[AGP]

I couldn't live any longer without a penis in my body

 

[Skitarii]

The only "bad ass" Biden has is a shit filled diaper

 

[frozen_runner]

You're a nigger, Harry!

What is with all these Eastern Euro mass shootings? Is the EU pissed that they aren’t gay enough?

• Haveing diarrhea
• Being gay
• And retarded

The niggerchlorian levels are off the chart in this situation.

You will never be a real male incel. You have no double digit kill count, you have no manifesto, you have no penis. Etc. etc.

The death of whitey will trigger the dead man's switch in Yakub's ancient vaults, unleashing the secret Honky 2.0 race upon the world.

Happy New Year. I feel violated.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

They should've shut you down for being a bunch of nerds, not because it's satanic

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

This thread is gonna have more suicides behind it than everything else on the site.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Sweet summer child, you need a starter class in racism.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

We must build a force, storm his hideout and save those lolis!

It has Saints Row 2022 in it, for fuck's sake.

let's say hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, you hook someone up to one of those Chinese cock milking machines and just leave it on forever, will that person die? Let's also say while it's happening their having viagra constantly pumped into their body

 

[Lithuophile]

I saw this phrase and immediately assumed that we'd be dealing with a landwhale that consumes 1/10th of Uganda's annual food production.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Tickling your nephews butthole isn't protecting them in any way whatsoever... in fact it's doing the opposite

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

Yeah well my eyes are comfortable staring at your ass.

 

[Meat Target]

Christian Chandler went to town riding on his mother,
But one time they hit a bump he got a baby brother.

"THERE ARE NIGGERS IN MY BRAIN! "

 

[Lithuophile]

Voices compel me to behead things too.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

It would be like if you made a show claiming to be a continuation of the 1987 Ninja Turtles, but the first episode had Shredder feeling up April's breasts.

Hark the Loli angels sing
Glory to the Shota King
Piece of ass is nice and mild
Girls and bare breasts reconciled....

This guy's a fountain of random.txt

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Yes we rape and eat dogs, and also there is a rollercoaster for the Uyghers into the ovens. Before we make their skin into sofas.