random_text.txt

[Floop]

Yesterday I discovered that bacon with chocolate sauce tastes pretty good

 

[Army Burger]

What happens if you smuggle a marijuana in you're buttocks

 

[FeverGlitch]

I am the definition of a fucking winner.

 

[Freddy Freaker]

We can draft men for war, so why shouldnt we be able to draft Catladies for whore?

 

[Army Burger]

I grew up on 4chan

he gets to bang his gf and her hot little teen sister, and impregnated both of them?
absolute chad move, dude's living the dream

In the past Chris said that he's okay with incest and he also said that he had sexual dreams about his mother. Do you think since Bob is dead that Barb would let Chris tap that saggy, old, rotten pussy of hers?

Gee John! How come your mom lets you elect two Hitlers?

My life has been dominated by the need to chug cough medicine and the will to die.

There is no such thing as a female kiwi, only trannies or men in dresses

When are we going to finally be able to shove it up our pee hole?

"Earlier today they poured tard cum all over his head"

I went to the chat just once and people were literally talking about sucking each other dick and saying stuff like "uwu"

Was it the ghost of a healthy cholesterol?

this man made of kraft singles lmao

 

[Floop]

Don't worry guys I talked to Reggie Feet-Balsamic Vinegar and he did whisper lovingly into my ear that Fat Albert (Yes THE Fat Albert) will be our final DLC character. Thank the fucking gods.

 

[CWCissey]

I have lost a lot of respect for Lord Buckethead.

 

[Army Burger]

I keep leveling up but can't figure out if I should put my talent points into type 2 diabetes or congestive heart failure.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

 

[TaterBot]

"It's unethical to allow someone to be blinded by their own fat."
"Great. I am now imagining Tammy holding up a deflated flap of skin so she can see. I donot know whether to laugh or puke."

 

[Kamov Ka-52]

Can I buy your underwear? But only if you farted on it

 

[Failure_Personified]

Featured on the <img id="dailybeast" style="vertical-align:middle;width:auto;height:36px;" src="https://my.mixtape.moe/chkbzh.png" />

No longer works as the image no longer exists at that location.
Please fix if you could, here's the image that was originally at that address.

 

[Army Burger]

Does his pee pee be tiny tho?

and now every year when the Grinch comes on my wife and I say to one another"Remember when Cindy Loo showed us her tits?"

Resorting to threats isn’t v kawaii of her

"TWO-HEADED CAT!!!! (here's a bunch of footage of its ass)"

Her cootch looks like a bubbly pepperoni pizza fresh out of the oven.

I also like almond tard cum

You haven't experienced insanity until after you've read Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert anal sex fanfiction.

Have you ever had Papa John’s cater an orgy?

Is she using some kind of fake nipples that she glues on top of her actual ones?

Armenians are like if you took Jews and squared them.

View attachment 1051098
"I think I was a farting wombat in another life"

Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by being stoned off one's tits.

Furries are the bane of my existence, my eternal foe, truly the antithesis for the idea that mankind is intelligent. Every time some furfag degenerate tries to talk to me I want to die, I don't want your inferior genes and AIDS and ebolas and pozloading my neghole me, like get the fuck away bitchass, I have millions more chromosones than you so if you dont have more than 25 your disease called "furfaggotry" might infect me too. Not to mention superior up syndrome (thats right you fucking beastiality zoophile-ass dumbass animal-fucking-ass motherfuckers, its UP syndrome now, i will not be held down by peasants like you) beings like myself have only hands, and feet. FUCK YOUR PAWS AND EARS AND OwO-UwU-MIFF-MARF-AWOOING AND DICKS LONGER THAN 12IN I HAVE FUCKING MONSTER GUNS INSTEAD, THEYRE THE SIZE OF THE GODDAMN WASHINGTON MONUMENT GO FUCK YOUR DUMB FUCKING STUFFED ANIMALS WHILE I FUCK YOUR MOM INSTEAD I ONLY LIKE REAL HUMAN BEINGS DAMMIT!!!!

I can't understand how someone can prefer to drink pee instead of having a regular job.

 

[Lord Xenu]

He posted this conversation between him and his father where the dad ‘deadnamed’ him. (Calls him by his birth name.) He proceeds to break shit in the background and abruptly ends the video.
View attachment 1034632

"stop deadnaming me Dad, or I'll report you to my LGBTQ organization" (paraphrased)

 

[Aria]

“Sadly, it went on to show one infant being suicidal and perished horribly.“

 

[Army Burger]

Why are your tits all weird?

It's just a matter of time before that nipple starts discharging shit and the prophecy is completed.

 

[Brain Power]

California sucks so much cock even the fish are turning into one

Good lord leave those poor dick worms alone! The gooks and homos are going to drive them into extinction.

 

[Army Burger]

Talk about the pot calling the kettle autistic

 

[Dork Of Ages]

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/2019-12-16-lets-stop-online-harassment.64179/

Will you donate today before our fundraising deadline to help me stop online harassment?

 

[Army Burger]

pasghetti on Twitter: "you have increased local gravity… "

archived 16 Dec 2019 20:30:51 UTC

archive.is

"you have increased local gravity"