random_text.txt

[DerKryptid]

 

[KiwiFuzz]

He got reincarnated as one of his banana peppers

 

[Strictly Confidential]

24. The plaintiff alleges that as a result she "experienced extreme emotional distress, including anger and rage."

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Buying into Athenian propaganda was the first mistake.

 

[C0d3]

I can't quote it so here.

@No Life Prince said: They will not allow moneychangers in the temple of autism.

 

[Meat Target]

He seems like the kind of man to ride a hog. I don't mean his bike, I mean his wife.

Rick the Prick is a liberal faggotsexual.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

daddy issue therapy. in the butt

 

[Epic Fail Man]

From a PM.

God's Spirit has always been in Sonic. People need to see it.

 

[Just Another Apocalypse]

Here is artist's rendition of Jessica's "vagina" being poked with a penis.

 

[Blackhole]

I'm a sucker for some bell-bottoms on long walking sticks attached to a hot girl...

To be a fly on the walls of the White House right now...

I hope Biden is America's Margaret Thatcher.

I am piss cofvefe

Sorry guys, Biden's been with me playing Xbox. We lost track of time, sending him back home now.

It is disgusting to me that anyone, journalist, leader or press secretary, is pretending that anyone gives a shit right now about anything other than the fact that our fucking brain dead psychopath of a president ordered a withdrawal of troops from a country where there are thousands of Americans unable to make it to the last operating airport.

U.S.S.R. 2: Electric Boogaloo

They have to slavishly tongue an old man's asshole through his diaper.

Hail Eris.

>still using Star Wars to refer to politics in 2021
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Palmer literally looks like he's a year from announcing he's taking HRT and transitioning.

I'd let Kamala Harris demonically ride my dick any day of the week.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Obviously a dumb mistake, but seeing even a cursory effort at not plagiarizing is better than expected these days.

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Kevin knows what omegaverse is but it doesn’t make him coom. I assume that’s because its target audience/creators are actual women (fujoshis and Aidens). Kevin is above those silly she-coomers and their icky gay anime boys.

Spoiler: Kevin deep thoughts on Omegaverse

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Think Tumblr fanfiction rather than my initial fear: cishet 4channers.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

For only pennies a day you can sponsor an antifa sped.

 

[NyQuilninja]

Let it be known, by the order of Jewsua “Jew” MoonJew,

the individual known as Elaine April Gertler-Miller is a phony. The biggest phony on the planet. I fucking hate phonies.

On the flipside, don't have to dilate if your axewound is frozen open.

Why the fuck would I bring condoms? If I can't pull out and nut on a squirrel what's the point?

I just want a free pony and good dental hygiene.

I just got off the phone with Science.
He says you're a bitch.

 

[tranny2000]

Fuck you. Not for what you posted, but for getting my hopes up that somebody was posting that fat, dog food-eating, piggy's obituary.

 

[Meat Target]

Pretending to be dead is the new pretending to be retarded.

So... we didn't kill this one? It gets so hard to keep track of what with all the assassination missions we get sent on, cause that is what we do here at the Farms after all...

I dunno. This looks bad, fetch the ritual katana and a fake passport. It's time to finish the job.

I'm not sure if a Kiwi Farms thread counts as "a thing of value".

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

That's a lot of words for anime makes people dumb.

Jesus christ, contemporary reality messing with my head canon again.

Eat less, fatty.

I find it funny that it's implied that incels are the "beautiful ones".

 

[Return of the Freaker]

I would almost support a Secret Kiwi Gifts, but I'm not sure giving some random Kiwi my address is a good idea. I can see some users taking shitposting to the IRL level and sending literal shit in the mail.

We Heckin did it Redditerinos! I'll crack open an IPA and suck my girlfriend's dick to celebrate such a glorious event!

Oh what? You didn't kill yourself? Guess it's he/him after all, man.

Wow whores are fucking stupid

I wouldn't adopt a coathanger that's been up a cervix.

 

[Fìddlesticks]

First thing first, we must put the beauty parlor into Burqas lest their feminine wiles lead us to temptation and lust.

Not sure if Islamic Content™ or DRINK!

Finally get Null some cash, a cocaine hook up and a fleet of Toyotas

غير مرطب ، مرطب ، في مساري ، رطب جيدًا ، مزدهر

Disagree; this is economically and ecologically more sound.

You can wash and reuse dildos. Escorts you can't even compost.

*Stress-sigh* I don’t know what to say. I’ve run this simulation hundreds of times, and every time it ends in rape.

Sorry guys!

Insulting names? That stuff never happens here. This is the hub of sunshine and faggotry

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Autism has consequences.

 

[DerKryptid]

a vault with two girls and one cup

Assdust's father used to make tophats but then he died from Mercury poisoning.