random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Any site is a dating site if you're Indian enough.

 

[Lowlife Adventures]

bled to death after being slashed by his prized cock

Knife-wielding roosters kill 2 men in cockfighting events in India

 

[KiwiFuzz]

With a kill pod, they die in there, pod is cleaned like a toilet, and then the troon body participates in the death industry.

Is this made for kids or Pedophiles I'm very confused at the market for singing shitting unicorns poorly animated?

Add this to the random.txt

 

[SlaanyChaser]

Tbh Raven frequently dropped the ball. Dont trust negroes with soothsaying.

 

[Aunt Carol]

No fucking way am I clicking a link to find out how big kids' dicks are.

DONT CALL MY CHILDLIKE PENIS CHILDLIKE! IM A MAN! HEAR ME ROAR!

 

[Socrates]

Every diaper fur should be flayed alive and set on fire.

 

[BrieLarsonFan2004]

"oh that man killed and ate my consenting brother waaah" shut up bitch

hey bro forreal if anyone should ponder killing themselves it's you if I saw your mother and I knew it was your mother I'd suplex her on pavement just cause she raised you and then knee her in the forehead

Hey bro forreal if anyone should ponder killing yourself it's your everytime I see your PFP I want to find your irl address and risk spending the rest of my life in a box just to teach one of you a lesson

Now I'm picturing Bonecrusher fucking Reshiram and the Black Reshiram fucking Angie while JustinRPG and Zat just sob and hold hands, watching powerlessly

mmm
mcnuggie

 

[I Do Not Post]

I mean...have you ever actually seen a horse cock?

 

[Shard]

My piss has turned into soymilk and I require medical attention.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

I hope Discord gets classed as a mental illness.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Also, I'm inextricably IP banned from ChristianForums.net, and I don't know why.

 

[Local Fed]

I do tend to think "I don't want to deal with that" almost constantly when confronted with basically anything

Blink twice if you're being molested

"I am not like other girls, i am a marine sponge"

I was a UwU femboi in my teenage years, but now I'm a bigger homophobe than most straight on the farms.

Dota players give you life advice, Discord users give you HRT

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

The death toll of the alpacas was expected to be much higher, but the the haulocoaster was burned for heat and the masturbation machine was constantly in use.

Woke pronouns are gravel in the gears of effective communication. They gaslight and marginalize me; please send GoFundMe moneys.

I got to say watching tranny Twitter go woke schizo and trying to legal defense in the comments is very AIDS inducing

Apparently he currently works as a carnie at Walt Disney World, squirting grease onto the rides and leering at children.

That's genuinely terrifying to me, as a big-hearted autist.

BORN TO DIE

TRANCH IS A FUCK

50,000,000 DEAD ALPACAS

"some people just won't learn until the animals are dead"

The dead are the lucky ones, for them the Tranch is over.

we stan a bpd queen

The enemy of my enemy is also my entertainment

(I know Pepe's just doing what his instincts tell him to, but for the purposes of this joke he's a rapist)

If one of us inherited 200 alpacas, we’d post about it in off topic and discover that the guy who only posts in Ethan and the Bitcoin thread is actually a professor of camelid biology at Harvard and happy to talk you through their care, feeding, and grooming.

Ever since man told God to piss off and took over the evolution of sheep, they have been bred for being tasty, having lots of wool, and being utterly retarded.

Sheepsperg Sheep Review

KiwiFuzz has turbo-autism when it comes to birbs.

Kevin Costner in Bad Sea Scenario is most excellent and I won’t hear a word said against it.

This is what happened, and I will ignore all evidence to the contrary.

I'm currently struggling with a retarded DVD consoomer. By retarded, I mean this guy has a confirmed low IQ and the mind of a child. He is constantly harassing people for DVDs he breaks at the drop of a hat. I've managed to calm it down somewhat by convincing him that there's a worldwide DVD shortage due to all the materials being used for the war in Ukraine.

I just want to say I love you @RACISM

Sorry for being so horny chat, I'm a gay nigger who believes in horoscopes uwu I love eating ass.

 

[Aunt Carol]

A GAY ghost ate her out!

I guess it would take a boyfriend that doesn't exist to eat her pussy, since she's so insistent that said pussy ALSO doesn't exist.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

female homosexuality is fine, male homosexuality ends civilizations.

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

Rope is reusable, and can be employed in many creative ways from hanging by the neck to dragging behind a car. There is a risk that it could snap, though, and that has traditionally meant release for the condemned.

Anyone with that little respect for human life does not deserve one of their own.

Just like OPL, I wish his mother would have swallowed or was struck with a painful, spontaneous abortion.

a nice, optional, beat-the-criminal-for-free card

mystery meat shitskins

Some may call it autism, some say FAS, does it matter?

Curious what her deal is, hippie, catholic, idiot?

Giving up is for trannies.

I was thinking about strangling Hassan after trying to take my mind off waiting for the bus

makes me wanna eat the forbidden cotton candy in the attic.

He's like a person with downs with the naive glee replaced with rage fits.

oranguhang themself

Will always be haunted by the Josef Mengele mpreg fanfic I found on dA over a decade ago.

Clearly he's challenging me to destroy all hope left in his life and drive him to suicide, and as a man of honour and integrity I have no choice but to reluctantly accept the gauntlet he's thrust upon me unprovoked.

Vaush doesn't believe in anything but child pornography and increasing his subscriber totals.

ravenous gay rapists that prowl the streets at night looking for fresh rapeable cheeks

As someone who is stupid, I also think his pubes look weird

fecal flora and other delights

I know a ton of woke-types who consider being against circumcision a right wing, anti-semetic dog whistle.

endocrine cancer surely can be that gender affirming uwu

This decoration looks like something two blind straight men with Parkinson did when asked to decorate the room of a girl with rainbows.

as stupid as that sheboon cauterizing her vagina in order to stop queefing.

why do u masturbate to dead animals

They’re barely above animals in levels of sentience which is why their thought process ends at “body part feel good if touch”.

Noooo actually sweet baby Jeffy is totally innocent! He raped and murdered kids as a trauma response uwu

libshits think he's some kind of boomer boogeyman who will take away their dilation devices

it looks like he slid crotch first on a table saw and I can't continue this sentence without my soul leaving my body.

She could literally be murdering a person with her bare hands and would think they were being ableist or some shit if they didn't die fast enough.

Arm skin sausages are real phalluses as much as the toothpick-covered, brown papier-mâche fuckup I made in kindergaten was a real hedgehog.

A fake-cripple necrozoopedo troon that jizzes to a dead butterfly in a jar.

Fun fact her mother was an anthropologist and Hebrew professor who wrote a book about dying children.

Uncle Adolf is laughing in Heaven. Good Job Karen and beta dad.

it looks like a sexually deviant Bratz doll, a NASCAR driver and a Fentanyl addict got together to create this look….

God and nature have abandoned this man.

dr palenstinekillingberg

"far right" homosexual couples and wignat transsexuals.

Estuary English, at its most extreme, sounds like a chorus of seagulls fighting over a discarded, half-eaten box of fried chicken. It is a combination of feral aggression and entitlement backed up by little in the way of intelligence.

The fat bastard eats for a family of eight.

If they ever went outside they would get bullycided.

illiterate lardcannon

dinosaur with a colostomy bag

posh white male hamfaced fuck

who would win: one retarded gas huffing snow nigger, or the Canadian government?

nope out in utero before gaining sentience

She also seems to be making her clit rot off, too!

No wonder she's so fucked up if she's been listening to toilet acoustics her whole life.

The MS in biochem to homeless sex worker path is a road less traveled.

Well...fan fiction about the author being in love with an active rapist and pedophile (who existed and destroyed numerous lives) is certainly a niche. Not a niche that needed filling

I would hate to be in a ghost marriage with him.

esbian tree forts

He makes my vag drier than my cremated granny.

lol, ok. shoulda fought that dysphoria a bit harder champ

I really cannot stress enough that kiwifarms is not a safe space to confess your guilt from writing columbine shooter porn.

I'd rather iron my dick with a combine harvester.

mf looks like a frightened dorito

no offense meant to any veterans or fans of military bread

Did you have an appt to soul travel with the ghost husbandos or something?

people who shove rainbow dildos up their ass while declaring themselves the second coming of Jesus Christ and Adolf Hitler

Getting butt high on benzos and shitposting online is one of the world's greatest pleasures.

Katpiss Neverclean is DISABLED

properly milk the last of the pee out.

You do nothing but lie around like a crippled, retarded slug. You contribute nothing and you have no value

This is all part of a masonic plot to destroy Europe's last monarchies and should be ignored.

He likes to hang out in the Monkey abuse telegram group

Kicking screaming tranny little piggy.

ffs, openly admitting you use a psychic to talk to your dead mum. Jesus H Christ man, have some dignity.

Don't try to out autist the fas autists, they will always win.

remain ungovernable, even in death

listen to her wax retarded, fatly, and constantly?

the easiest way to take the easy way out short of sitting in your idling car in your garage. Probably drove a Prius or Tesla so that wasn't an option.

drifted peacefully off to hell.

raising a yeast infection from infancy to adulthood

You cannot tell me that this doesn't end with one or both partners crying.

Enjoy changing your urine-filled bags, bitch!

it'll rain Hitlers all day.

That’s not chicken, that’s a war crime.

jewish trumpet midget guy

They should be forced to drink the fluids they store underneath the kitchen sink.

Throw a fit at a Gamestop, get a minder; fuck your mom, go to a tard prison forever.

How much will this hot tub of water weigh and will it collapse my balcony if I fill it and kill someone underneath?

Brightest lights in their life are the ones that hit them when they open the fridge.

This bitch is the type of person that thinks she's getting a worst deal on the third pounder as opposed to the quarter pounder

If you've ever tried to figure how many beers you can get with the 20 in your pocket, congratulations you've just done algebra.

What’s the story there? Do people really bring their profoundly disabled kids on thrill rides?

We all died on 9/11 and we're stuck in hell.

Faggot sounds like she’s gonna orgasm

Soup and beans for days.

I just really hate geometry and triangles.

you book dodging macaque.

When you were taking literature classes at school you must have kept the windows extremely polished.

friendship ended with doctor now chiropractor is best friend.

This dude is debating a literal homosexual yet he somehow ends up sounding like the gay one

eating chips very homosexually

it was a wild ride of bug sex and dog murdering,

an amhole pizza

Even manifestions of the spirit realm call out nigger like behavior.

Are your schizo voices self-identifying as Qanon or something?

instead of a harmless female Shrek with a cockroach husbando he's a dog killing sociopath with a hate boner for an imaginary rabbit

cringe private school ham-fuck doing black american

It's like listening to a homeless person explain the plot of Inception while he succumbs to a glue overdose.

How is it the cops fault this nigger's heart was so enlarged from fried chicken, malt liquor, and crack that it exploded from a mild shock?

Now get out of my way, I've got ballsacks to dissect and dollars to collect.

Putin is a complete pants-shitting retard.

he's a big gay baby that takes bubble baths.

sub saharan poopdick

PEAK Magnus Hirschfeld hours

remember paramedics, if you can't save Quantavious from being a 600 pound crackhead you're a White Supremacist murderer

You have popped many scat cherries today, well done.

he should've been in a psych ward somewhere with some brightly colored toys and some pudding so he could live out his shitty life in peace.

I love that this distracts her from really for real dying. Maybe she'll be so distracted, she'll forget to die.

Null is my shepherd. I shall not sperg.

That belongs in a gallery (in NYC next to Piss Jesus).

being retarded isn't a crime, most of KF would be behind bars.

Yes, this is a real fetish. Don't ask me how I know. I wish I didn't.

She looks like Morticia Addams, but not in a good way.

double floppy milkers vibe merchant.

Twenty year old yeast infections and animals don't count as children.

They called me an infadel for my sepulchre picture I had and wanted me to smash it

black hole neovag.

Can't a plantsexual himbo ace druid catch a break around here?

if you've never gotten to remove multiple sutures and a 6 inch (5.25 cm) long rigid plastic tube from the raw, irritated penis of a struggling, yowling cat, you've never really lived.

The drugs latching on to every cell in her body, powering her up to TurboAutistic.

 

[BrieLarsonFan2004]

Null's Dick is like Christ's foreskin in this sektur

 

[KiwiFuzz]

TW: transphobia, racism, sexism (against trans women), banana peppers, body shaming, homophobia, antisemitism, cis sexism, dogs, religion, nuclear family values, good life advice, exclusionist, pro gun, Serbian propoganda, internet drama commentator, irl Nazi, positive male role model traits present!!!!

My anus would never forgive me.

... They've just been peeing. Peeing on themselves, peeing on others. It was pee the whole time.

I'm stunned at how my brain looks at this and hears a pebble rattling around an empty tin can.

It's BatMAAAAAAA'AM!

Nananananananana BATMAAAAAAAAA'AM!!! This made me laugh harder than it should have.

They were people oogling at me all week as well as wanting to see my dick to the point where we had to tell them if it wasn’t medically necessary, they had to go away.

 

[Blackhole]

BORN TO RULE
PARLIAMENT IS A FUCK
KILL EM ALL 1629
410,757,864,530 DEAD ROUNDHEADS

6 million farmers opening anthrax letters at ram ranch
18 naked cops with weapons ready

instead of sticking to null's budget how about a bunch of us chip in for like a full Waco

Our brothers may soon get a hold of a legendary piece of Larded Lore: the divorce proceedings.

The Perfidious Price Pat Phatly Paid for Prestige

"You are not a liver, stalker."

Simping for the IRS is where I draw the line.

You do not understand the geopolitical implications of music videos.

 

[Hepativore]

"...my underwear and my sanity are doomed. By the end of Day 1, #MyCalvins are soaked in anchovy-scented discharge that is milky and sometimes even frothy in consistency. My milkshake brings no boys to the yard, and the intensely piscine aroma is by no means your ordinary jean heat stink."