random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[often puzzled]

Nutsacks do not belong in buttcracks. That’s a curse of its own.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

If you're making a fucking Fallout 2 character, using any of these names should set a fire on your computer and a shameful weight upon your soul

 

[Gentlebastard]

anime boys just look like flat chested anime girls with short hair or as my granddad put it "sparkly Japanese faggot bastards"

Why do these people constantly make me defend things that don't need it?

I sat there in my car and rocked because that's what real autists do.

Women don't have autism they have an unbalanced uterus. Gotta go to the doc and get it rotated every 5000 miles

"People copy my designs" The idea that people would copy his bizarre AI slop is somehow MORE delusional than thinking eating copious amounts of low quality meat will cure his health problems.

My mrs has autism and it's got all the drawbacks of male autism, (sensory issues, not understanding speech tone/behaviour) but none of the super powers like liking trains or drawing bad porn of sonic.

The author appears to be a furry

I was watching this video game lore video the other day, and the voice at first sounded female but as it went on I could tell. More and more I'm starting to have this insane thought that women are becoming an endangered species because everywhere you look or hear there's a tranny.

If you looked up "useful idiot" you would find a picture of this guy.

Enjoy bed prison, sleeping stalker. Wait patiently for the good dreams.

Decommissioned M113's, surplus MRAP's, and other military-spec APC's would make incredibly inefficient minibuses, but it could be done. Legally? Probably not. Do I wish that I could get on the pintle-mounted machine gun of an M113 and defend my fellow commuters by gunning people down? Maybe.

I wonder if the deleted comments were something like "What the fuck is wrong with you".

 

[Tablet County]

your retardation has compelled me to side with the government and "medical experts," and I hate you for that.

The Internet is rightful American clay. It's spelled "color."

 

[paperwork]

No sadder words of tongue or pen
Than these, the Farms were right again.

 

[Meat Target]

We're going to watch as one man manages to represent his clients and himself so horrendously that Minnesota is going to witness the first triple death penalty ever carried out.

Nick could kill a man and these dunces would postulate he merely happened to be in the room while someone else committed suicide.

 

[DiggieSmalls]

On the off chance you're not shitposting. Who is going to fund tens of thousands of deer vasectomies?

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

No one expects their clitoris to be the one to grow a couple of inches.

Remember that it’s is morally right and justified to always lie to pollsters.

*Cunnilingus

Like the Mexican dish

Having consumed my fair share of alcohol and various other brain influencing substances I can confirm with 100% accuracy that none of them have ever for a single moment made me consider being sexually active with my mother, never mind savagely raping her or anyone else for that matter.

If you name her whole family the deep ones will be summoned

and people act like I'm the crazy one when I do not recognize the authority of the federal government and do not take any of their proclamations all that seriously.

...he lives in Houston. I assume he also eats food.

They should be fighting over anime spoilers like modern gentlemen.

where the fuck is your triangle

when you wood chipper people brainwashed by clown world does confetti come out?

If a cannibal warlord can find God and make the world a better place in that process I have hope

Whatever happened to Butt when he had that vision of Jesus it seems to have stuck with him, he's built an orphanage with his own money and spends his time trying to help orphaned kids and feed the homeless.
And not with the hearts of his enemies this time.

Jesus went to buy cigarettes the day Desmond was born and never came back,

For of all sad words of tongue or pen
the saddest: "Jack Chick was right again."

Birds. That's why the island is so terrifying. A bird takes flight from a tree branch, seeing a caterpillar on another tree. But suddenly the dry brush on the ground gives way to gold as a four foot yellow streak flies through the air, snapping its jaws around the songbird's neck. It's last thoughts are empty, overwritten by the fire of a thousand suns as venom courses through its tiny body. Fortunately for the bird, it dies within seconds. All day and night the whole island is alive with long golden streaks shooting through the air.

I don't know if any of that is true, but it should be.

Fuck that guy. Maybe his friend shouldn't have heroically ran off with his ass hanging out.

I'm not sure, is it possible to have a more personally embarrassing set of words committed to print in this many characters? Because JESUS CHRIST

I will fight you all on this. I'll fight you all at once, the spirit of meme injuns gives me the strength of ten bears.

You can also socialize the socially stunted with a grueling training program.

I've seen that damn picture of the octopus.

I told her she had it all arse backwards. At one point she hissed at me.

I will take extra long hot showers from now on and there's nothing you assholes can do to stop me. I'm not on city water so you all can get bent.

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

The only drugs we do is filtered crack, you stupid piece of shit.

The lulz stop coming and they don't stop coming/
Head to the Farms and I hit the thread running

 

[Tablet County]

There was a cow named Rekeita Law,
He drank until ceiling cats he saw,
He thought he was the best lawyer in town,
But I found out this Friday,
That Nick was arrested early,
They've got him in the jailhouse way downtown.

He's in the jailhouse now. He's in the jailhouse now.
Josh told him once or twice,
Nick pull up Josh was being nice,
He's in the jailhouse now,
Bal-d-oo-oo-oo bal-d-oo-oo-oo.
Bal-d-oo-oo-oo-eeeeee!

This thread has gone Plaid, I can't keep up.

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

"Welcome to Lawsplaining the County Jail, my name is Nick Rekieta a disbarred felon in a small town in Central Minnesota."

 

[Johnny Salami]

I am the only one who has touched a vagina and regularly gets laid

 

[Gog & Magog]

I just lost my cat of 16 years yesterday. It does hurt a lot. Pets dont last by your side throughout your whole life. But they last just long enough for you to remember them for the rest of your life.

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

That's a serious contender for narc %, Homewrecking WR right there

 

[William Tyndale]

Every time someone gives your post a "dumb" reaction, you know that some niggercattle out there is feeling a boundless yet impotent rage, because they feel like your speech should be suppressed, but they are powerless to do so.

 

[vomitusdeux]

I think she's more yeast than person at this point.

You would think the actual cult leader mentioned in this thread blackmailing kids would be the main focus of this thread. But it looks like retarded petty grudges take top priority.

What about stepping on dicks for money?

How else am I supposed to draw a Centaur facing forward?

You don't even know my fetishes brah. (hint: not BDSM, tho that guy's page had some neat art)

Why are you acting like @easy is forcing you to read the Million Pity thread like it's Clockwork Orange

I just learned Japanese to read kemono smut

Ya know, he just likes normal dogfucking, not cartoon dogfucking. Come on, guys.

I am going to post gore on your profile uncensored

Remember: no matter how bad it gets, at least you aren't Japanese.

Going to assume the doctor told you "buy custom furry art, as much as possible, pregnant if you can" and you followed their instructions to the letter.

If I had to fuck these mutants and kneel on buckwheat all day I wouldn't be too thrilled either

To be fair, the Japs were screwed up for at least a couple centuries prior to the steam engine. I've seen that damn picture of the octopus.

At least the "hecking valid woman" could fucking bother shaving

The way Mother 3 portrays troons is just perfect.
The first one even groomed the 12 year old protagonist in a hot tub which got him to learn "PK Love" I'm not joking.

The game does have some off-screen implied child molestation during that part.

I love New Zealanders but that country has some fucked up men.

FNAF Fandom and its consequences have been a disaster for little kids on the internet

Becoming unhinged and swearing in broken Pakistani always seems to do good work where "Tianmen Square 1989" fails

Whenever I get text message scammers, I ease into reciting the entire life story of Brianna Wu as if it were my own, including using the exact same names.

Why do trannies become ugly after transitioning?

That sofa hasn't been cleaned since the Soviets were in charge, has it? It's clearly meant to be beige but some of it is a very queasy shade of grey. People are sleeping on that shit after all the vomiting and fucking and shitting. If Putin gets his hands on it he'll catapult it into downtown Kiev and the war would be over in minutes.

I hope Nick isn’t doing his comedy routine to his fellow inmates. Especially his routines about black people.

Hahahaha what. St. Floyd died for a counterfeit $20. This fuck stole a million and got away with it.

Look at Lady Gollum's mugshot

Maybe she really can't go on living without that bent duck?

Call that fat brown retarded hacker lady, she'll get it.

"Yeah, Jesus fucked me in the ass with her dick last night"

The revolution won’t be televised, but it will be discussed on The Kiwi Farms.

Imagine crying to jannies so pathetically. Would Powdered Toast Man truly fall so low?

For some the smell of meth sweats is no substitute for the natural stench of unwashed folds and rolls.

the second he said "black guy on the cover," the story genuinely had a plot twist

 

[🔪Cold Steel Brand Rep🔪]

Vomitus putting his hours in, blessing the farms

 

[Tablet County]

I hope Zoomers string this guy behind a Fortnite battle bus.

Fortunately, in our post Covid world DMs are just the domain of Furries.

"Degenerates like you belong on a (St. Andrew's) Cross"?

Bruh, you're typing like you're drunk. Note that I am drunk while typing this and doing a better job.

I've misjudged the DSM - they basically have lolbertarianism listed as a mental disorder.

can't someone send him some dog to eat to calm him down?

 

[Jason Wynn]

please don’t try to breastfeed me!

 

[Aunt Carol]

source: i fucking love hotdogs.

Not to be like "aww poor low-effort fat tranny quarterback uwu",