random_text.txt

[KiwiFuzz]

I suspect you underestimate how difficult it is to get a bear to eat you, but I like the idea.

I regret to inform you that you are, indeed, an "ignorant scrote."

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Somehow, a tranny was able to make somebody else's wedding all about them without even trying

I love lettucelat because they are simultaneously clearly in the middle of a continuous mental breakdown and the sanest one in any troon surgery thread he is in

They'll get their own table in the cupboard under the stairs.

I wonder what Kevin would do if he had to confront someone over this shit IRL. 50/50 you'd talk this guy into fapping right infront of you or ending it.

Kinda makes my wonder how much money it would take to produce a bunch of those fake 100 dollar bills with the scripture on one side but instead of scripture it just says “Stupid nigger this isn’t real money.”

The hat remains uneaten.

"Kiwifarm formulates the Cock Theorem".

Jesus Christ, just let yourself be happy for one day out of the year. I promise it won't make you accidentally vote for Donald Trump or something.

Reminds me of the time I saw an OnlyFans model dressed as an 18th century highway(wo)man, lasciviously pleasuring herself with a pair of authentic flintlock duelling pistols - and later, a formidably sized coaching blunderbuss.
Thankfully, she managed to avoid blasting her own cunt with any of them.

'Look, I had an accident with a dildo, a very small dildo traveling at 1,246.7 feet per second.'

This thread has desensitized me to the point I no longer fear spoiler tags.

She could have just blasted her beef curtains off for all we know.

Sorry to derail the Nigger Hate Train(tm)

 

[Adamska]

I’m White under every historical American definition.

 

[stupid frog]

I need extensive home insurance coverage because my sons a FAGGOT.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

also bonus- makes me think i really really need to get my conceal carry permit. also a gun. probably bullets for it too, idk what guns need i don't live in a trailer

I know it's not kosher to fuck retards but I would have

"I just hate my penis".

Fun fact: women don't like being punched. It is to the point where it is one of the top 10 relationship advice things and we have organizations dedicated to stopping it. I'm not sure if fat and lazy Paul could do any more than damage by weight, but I don't suggest a fist fight to turn women on.

Those were faggots, grandma. Gay men are the most degenerate and coomer of all men, they have to take the doors off the bathrooms at public parks because they can't stop giving each other AIDS. Add furry to the mix and you've got yourself a cock pulling pizza party.

ah kant get threw mah kold whinters without mah new inkjet ahnd car steereeoh

the great thing about Injun coffee is that you don't even have to add liquor, it comes pre-mixed from the factory

People like dogs more than they like trannies.

Earl is all of us.

Can I get a copy of the software you use to get your drone to shoot dogs? I'm on a swat team and this could revolutionize my work.

Somewhere out there there's a crying Indian dude watching troons fuck alpacas on his ancestral land.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

The person in charge of schools there: "Duh duuuur.... Hur hur hurr hurrr..." *flaps their arms around before taking their safety helmet off and throwing it at the school review board*

I'd say it's unusual, but not cruel. Technically it's cruel and usual.

When are people going to learn that you probably shouldn't try to grab the gun of someone named Kyle?

I was on the fence about spousal rape until I saw that video, now I'm fully on board with it.

"Come to my house so I can kill you"

 

[NyQuilninja]

I dunno. And why are women so afraid of it too, screaming "No, stop! Not there! It hurts!" when I corner them in alleyways at night? Its current year, stop being so sexually repressive, cunts Karens. IS IT BECAUSE I'M BLACK!?

There is literally nothing wrong with eating an entire tub of Walmart brand cheese puffs

To be fair, is the Kiwifarms community any better than the fart fetish community?

What a disgusting visual.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm fresh cum mmmmmmmmmmmm

I'd rather have Roseanne Barr be Samus than fucking pancakebutt mcstupid.

>bull nose ring
Opinion from a woman DOUBLE DISCARDED

Just another passive-aggressive BPD princess ruined by Ramona Flowers.

Oh Crimea River

I hope some mexicans break into that fags home and eat those guinea pigs...

Look at his beard. That dude is clearly fucking his guinea pigs.

This is some fat fucking cope, from a fat fucking dope.

Not until western society becomes Islamic and women are baby-carrying furniture again inshallah

I'm going to kill you for posting this.

My girlfriend reassured me that a small penis makes no difference as long as you love each other. I still wish she didn't have one though.

This nigga really brought his MOM with him to get penis enlargement surgery?!

 

[Meat Target]

oh i'm sorry, i think i got drunk and made a shitpost at dailykos

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I never shit in school until college.

 

[Jah Hates Kaffirs]

I'm gonna make a PSA about using the "lunacy" emote, since here i see a lot of misuse of that emote. I mean, i don't care about much of those, but remember; we are a community and any good post deserved good treatment.

 

[Hitman One]

Can you neglect and abuse animals in Minecraft?

Can you imagine going to check your nanny cam and seeing this mong with her tits out making pasta?

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

If this were ancient times and Kiwi Farms was a small town, would that make Russ the village idiot?

Kiwi farms would be the town where nations sends their idiots to live

 

[Zero Day Defense]

There's nothing quite like someone banging on the stall door yelling "AYO THIS NIGGA SHITTIN" at 8 AM

 

[Mal0]

I don't have a single X chromosome. Why would you ask me this?

Good afternoon, I hate women.

Thank you for making this thread Niggerman, I was meaning to make something like this but I am to lazy.

 

[Cryonic Haunted Bullets]

surely she knows that it is very likely J is gonna require ten firemen, a bulldozer, and a complex system of pulleys and ramps to get her out of that house when she inevitably falls/can no longer walk/has a massive coronary

books where "some people have uteruses and some don't" with no one bothering to identify which mysterious people might have them

I remember that there was some very weird woman who used to go to every website or forum where Jonah was mentioned, asking for info on Jonah and Milton Berle and any other really big dick-havers.

Unless one is extremely lucky genetically, once a bitch reaches a 45+ BMI, she develops the dreaded long-tit. The tube sock with a roll of quarters boob.

At best, Corissa might be able to grow some herbs and tomatoes (from starts) in tall raised beds or raised containers, provided somebody else builds the beds, brings the containers, mixes the soil and amendments, and fills those beds/containers.

make your asshole a commodity that can be criticized like any other product

"Give me one of your scales and I'll be your friend."
"Get a job, nigger."

a woman talking about men or masculinity is like a fish talking about riding a bicycle, the only thing they have in common is how the seat smells afterwards

How come we haven't even fucking SEEN Ghislaine Maxwell even a single goddamn time since her arrest? Why do we only get sketches? Do they even have anyone, or are they just fucking with us?

if any cunt knows any dardy blackfella shit to share go ahead and share it that'd be deadly as fuck cunts

Roblox has expended resources estimated to be over $100,000 to investigate and block Defendant Simon from accessing the Roblox Platform.

 

[Gilkore]

Let’s talk about your faggots, I’m sure I’ve got a fix

 

[Law]

YOU. DUMB. BITCH.
I have been telling this in the past, and I'll repeat: terfs are just broken clock showing right time. It's YOUR deranged ideology that was built on manhate, hating masculinity, suppressing natural male sexuality, feminizing boys, and creating a message of men bad girls good that cauzed shit you've gotten into.

 

[SCSI]

Sir this is a a gossip site about retards (and also for retards).

Autism. The answer is always, autism.

Lol autism makes it harder for you too detect bullshit... All I've done this afternoon is expose your flawed logic...

Explain that !?

You think its bad now just wait until thomas the tank engine finally snaps and jumps the track in NYC hauling a load of napalm and nitroglycerine during a christmas parade

 

[KiwiFuzz]

our favourite motherfucker

 

[thisighuf]