random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Lithuophile]

Marge's tongue will be in the minority when she bends that gook over for her sex tape.

None such sex tape exists. But if it did, I expect it would mog the ever living shit out of my devotees and they would watch it on repeat

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

Oh boy nobody will think I'm gay wearing roller blades with THREE wheels instead of four.

*bounces on BBC*

Black Lives Matter

Reddit, here I come!

If you survive a public suicide attempt do you get your reddit account back?

If you ain't white, you ain't right

Have you reached out to the manlets in your life tonight?

 

[Titty Figurine]

It's only ODD if it comes from the Oppositional Defiance region of France, otherwise it's just sparkling emotional abuse.

you're an incel prude who wouldn't know a good time if it slapped your ass with a hot topic belt.

A profound and vacuous hole exists in my heart and the only thing that can fill it is 3 McDoubles and a BPD coke whore.

There is no rehab for being a bitch.

No one monogamous partner can keep up with a Methy McMasturbator degenerate sex drive.

I’m pretty sure Null sneaks into cheesemongers’ workshops and spunks in the casein

Gay furry RP I could probably explain to my boss but light theme is inexcusable

If you wouldn't mind taking your anime triangle negrate fantasy to the gimp kennel, that would be great!

YOU WERE ONE OF THE PEOPLE CAUGHT WITH YOUR DICK IN THE FURRY JAR.

Now the entire WORLD knows your ejaculatory habits.

fuck that bitch, i hope a turtle snaps off his whisky dick

 

[BirdUp]

My favorite from Dominos used to be, bonesless wings (nuggits basically); New York Style crust extra cheese pizz with half pepperoni and green pepeps; "white sauce" Chicken and 3-cheese additional cheesed (feta, romano and something else idk) on top of the Regular pizzacheese hand tossed crust OR nyc city style.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

Why do you have a NSFW homosexual avatar

Oh like you're one to talk!

 

[Pedophobe]

p.s. how do I archive Twitter?

Reminder to not use your Kiwifarms username on any other site, but if you do, please be a hot mess about it.

It's the second dumbest thing I've read today, but at least I wasn't bored.

i'm already on thin ice with him after the Incident.

Hoes can never break the sacred bond between a Man and his Cheese.

What's your skin routine faggot?

 

[Mr Bunny]

Whom am I to say city-fed birdy boobs can't be tasty?

 

[frozen_runner]

I love it when science disproves racism and it affirms how racist I truly am.

Fursecution is the bestsecution.

McChickens were $1
Now they are well over $3
This is treasonous

McDonalds was going to jew us no matter what happened.

Anti Semitism is just a conspiracy to pressure jews into becoming Israelis so they can have more taxpayers for their war

I whole heartedly agree. The Simpsons is a shit show, only faggots watch that slop. Real men watch Family Guy.

How many non-trans shooters of the past were merely uncracked eggs?

this site gets a little more retarded every day

 

[Vott]

 

[Gentlebastard]

I suggest approaching any black man on the street and asking if he's down to suck cock. The results may shock you

I have a theory that gay black men on the downlow spend so much time in prison because it's the one time they can fuck their bros without their own community condemning them. Black criminality is driven by their desire to suck cock and take it up the ass.

I need my emotional support toepopper landmines to be scattered around where i live or else i cant cope

I hate the word "vibe" so goddamn much.

"Gborbu Wulomo, Nuumo Borketey Laweh Tsuru XXXIII"

I can't fucking breathe. I'm extremely racist and I couldn't make up a better African name than this.

I was actually pretty surprised when I read the study that for once, the daily mail actually wasn't exaggerating that much. The study was actually as bad as the article made it out to be. It's almost actually worse seeing it in their own words.

He printed out Facebook memes and posted them in real life. What a king. Next level shitposter.

I guess you've never had guests/family visiting and some asshole ends up sitting on the single can reading War and Peace while your eyeballs are slowly turning brown from the exxxtra-spicy double-bean blast burrito you stupidly ate.

I need to know his politics so I can decide if he's a brave martyr for the cause or a fucking retard from the other team

I don't know who wrote this article but I know they're an insufferable faggot.

Honestly people arguing whether he was left wing or right wing are missing whats really important.

We got ourselves a good old fashioned bugfuck insane schizo setting himself on fire in public while scattering round his literal schizo manifesto like confetti.

This is something to be enjoyed as a family, not turned into yet another politisperg slapfight.

I fail to see how autoerotic flambéing helps the situation

Every time I see that picture, all I can think is "mincing faggot"

the image of some dude setting himself on fire and a CNN jogger just chimping out and starting to rap while live is hysterical to me

It was only funny the first time. Get some new material, retards-setting-themselves-on-fire-to-make-a-statement.

Sorry but is he eating bread... WITH BREAD?

The recipe for the crust gave me lactose intolerance.

What the actual fuck.

It's just stupid people doing stupid things.

*One mind break later*

I don't know if I'm having a psychotic break right now.

This stroked out faggot who loves to deep throat and choke on animal flesh wasted 40 seconds of a 7 minute video to show off putting pepperoni onto a pie. This is clearly fetish material now.

But seriously, fuck these guys. I hope someone spikes their HRT and they grow donkey ears.

You sound like a plushiephobe.

Fatty is a genius at figuring out how to do things like a faggot that you never even knew it was possible to do in a faggy way.

I think my LDL went up 30 points just watching that video

Oh lawdy there's a nigger in the thread!

I clicked the link out of curiosity and it was wall to wall faggotry.

What kind of mentally ill Chinese girls are you hanging out with?

 

[ADG Rotten snatch]

TOP SECRET//NOFORN//FVEY ONLY

 

[BirdUp]

Ok, so I have some sort of mental problem.

 

[Pedophobe]

I believed that such levels of homosexuality could not be reached outside of reddit and tumblr.

Spoiler: the life outside of twitter is in Discord

Just goes to prove that there is no god, sorry atheists.

I'd be hungry and you'd still be an illiterate nigger.

 

[demicolon]

Speak incoherently and carry a load in your pants.

The "Giantess" fetish is so stupid for how inconsistent it is. On one end you got feminine men who want a dominatrix. On the other end you got muscular chads who confront the 7' boss-lady à la Dark Souls equipped with only the "great sword" between their legs.

 

[BirdUp]

I probably won't ever get laid

 

[Gentlebastard]

It's almost mind-bending to see the same kind of moral panic you hated in your own adolescence turning into the absolute opposite and yet it still sucks in exactly the same way.

Extremism in anything is unhealthy.

DEATH TO ALL FANATICS!

If these people put as much effort into real gymnastics as mental gymnastics they wouldn't be fat.

The thought of a 12-13 year old using that hockey trophy as a bludgeoning device in a brawl is a rather funny mental image.

Its really gross having to defend the fr*nch but it is what it is.

Unintelligible and probably badly translated 5000 year old text says trans/nigger rights!

Source: used to be a lefty faggot

I'm sorry your mom tried to be unique and named you using her alphabet soup but you will forever be know as "that black faggot"

Now he is trying to assassinate Putin by causing him to cringe to death.

Definitely not the worst I’ve ever seen but the bar is very very low

I was trying to come up with a joke response to make fun of bongs, but its really hard to satirize them when this is what reality looks like.

Now, this weirdo may have murdered someone, but who hasn't murdered someone? I mean it's just something you do sometimes. A little murder here and there.

Goddamn did his goatee do a lot of heavy lifting. That second chin looks like a tumor.

GIVE ME MY SCHIZOPHRENIC MARY POPPINS YOU BASTARDS

Nothing like a bit of bleak dystopia to prepare kids for the real world.

Nigger, you have an earring. You will never be taken seriously.

I now feel bad for eggs.

 

[Rotollo 2]

Your honor, my client is not a foot fetishist. He is simply Autistic, a sperg, a true ASS-PIE, if you will.

 

[Hitman One]

There's no way that DMT I smoked back in 2015 didn't teleport me to actual Clown World.

 

[JJLiautaud]

What does he mean by "Argentinians are humans"?

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

This man is simply controlled by the communist gangster computer God send me money and a manual typewriter for your only THE hope for THE future

Dukakis Dukakis hail dukakis Halo people hail victory we will crush the Clintons we will bring the Clinton crime family to justice 1488 dukakis gang

Using a Simpsons episode as the basis of your manifesto while seeming to completely miss what the episode was saying is just….really telling.

Not gonna lie if I randomly walked into this place. And noticed all the signs, I'd instantaly moonthefuckwalk outta this place. Clearly this man is working with prion infected meat(maybe deer they're getting infected with something across north America its spooky as fuck google zomie deer), or something is in the water. Either way his brain is fucked. Or there is lead paint/pipes/god know what somewhere. You'd be fucking insane to allow this boomer to touch your food. Shit man his' brain can be melting from neurosyphilis. Since it is Texas tho I'm going with cheap as fuck beef infected with madcow. You know from some scum fuck cheap ass feeding sick dead cows to sick cows and selling the meat for.... Cheap&Natural FREE FROM LIBERAL BULLSHIT LABS AND INSPECTIONS BUTCHERED ON A FARM OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THE OLD DAYS SHITLIB GET MAD EAT YOUR SOYMEAT THIS IS REALTM BEEF.

Thus I'd burn my hands with the strongest chemicals I can get my hands on instantly and pray to allah the prions did not enter my body. Lest I turn out like this guy.
BasedAsFuck/10 for the seeth he's causing
HOLYFUCKGETTHISFOODTOALABRIGHTNOWNOWNOWKEEPITFUCKINGAIRTIGHT/10

Srsly this is what prions do to your brain PRIONS ARE NO JOKE PRIONS NOT EVEN FUCKING ONCE.
God damn prions are fucking terrifying.

Pfff prions cant get to me if I infect myself with something else, mr roodypoo motherfucker no fun allowed faggot. You might want to remove the object from your ass you're standing far to straight its creepy. Fucking zoomers I swear, everything is cringe cringe cringe with you people.

I respectfully disagree. What's your mailing address?

Like I said: Goose, gander, it's confusing.

Man shut the fuck up. I don't practice Islam anymore nor claim it and I've been just fine the last 5 years, like many of my kind. Go outside and get real.

Could I interest you in some sex offender tango instead? How about a sex offender foxtrot or ballad?

It's like the cheese touch, except it causes uncalcuable economic ruin.