random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Return of the Freaker]

Oh no she's into dogs. Are jews like white chicks?

I'm so fucking sick of Jews and Barbie.

 

[Shiny Shroodle]

The straight man screams in righteous indignation.

“Perhaps. But I take matters of anus very seriously. I am straight.”

yes, my penis also tells me to drink pepsi

I was gonna try Krav Maga but the class was sorely lacking in instruction on how to dispatch opponents over 399.9 pounds.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

You can cure AIDS with acupuncture.

 

[RACISM]

Cool story, are you going to turn me i to a lolcow now from stupid garbage that is irrelevant from years ago?

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I'd kill them all if I could.

 

[thunderous ball lightning]

Also how the fuck did Britfags get Wikipedia to agree that "aluminium" is how you spell FUCKING ALUMINUM YOU FAGGOT CUCK ISLAND FUCKS. Absolutely nobody else in the world spells it that way. "Aluminium" just say it out loud and you automatically inhale a goddamn dick.

It's ALUMINUM you fucking pricks. How did one dumb island convince the world this was the way to spell it?

 

[AgendaPoster]

As for incest, I see no reason why a brother shouldn't knock up his sister if both want it, and I consider this a private issue. Your house, your problems.

 

[Gentlebastard]

"Christian women stripped naked, paraded through streets by mob then gang raped after men who tried to protect them were bludgeoned to death in India"

I always wondered what kind of shit goes down behind the "employee only" door in 7-11.

There is serious dislike of Jesus in India because he redeems

Those bitches could run out of the tunnel butt ass naked and start scissoring on centerfield, but I'm still never going to watch soccer.

You'd have more luck inviting vegans to a hotdog eating contest.

Oh it's the Downs Syndrome looking Pooner again. Shame how none of her extra Chromosomes are Y.

Grandpa has terminal cancer? Hey, look on the bright side: I have two girlfriends!

You can cure AIDS with acupuncture. Just pick 4 points in a straight line on the stomach, and then lean on the pitchfork really hard.

Lord please be #based and strike this faggot author with severe carpal tunnel.

Leftist "artist" turns out to be a violent sex pest? I don't even know if this qualifies as news anymore.

I clicked on the thread expecting a massive fat troon. Pleasantly surprised.

Unfortunately, the correct answer was D) Keep destroying your life for twitter points.

you won’t erase that bakers dozen blacked blow bang video you did before popping out a few kids from the internet

Why does 13% of the population eat 52% of the fried chicken?

I can confirm that Hannah in her Tim cosplay really looks like that skater girl I had a thing for in high school.
Pray for me that I do not become one of the simps.

I shouldn't cancel my post-court prison bukakke celebratory pizzas yet, is what you're saying.

"Tell me about your mother."
"Who says I have a mother, child. Enjoy prison, stalker."

This trend of losers whoring their gf-wifes for internet Money is pathetic. Just pimp them in the corner like old time you pathetic cuck fuckers

I personally love it when the thread breaks off and discusses cooking when we collectively decide it's not enough to state that Jack is dumb but to also comprehensively illustrate why.

It's genuinely informative.

Why won't they let me enter my cock in the Fattest Pussy competition? Are they *gasp* in love with me?

as someone who has dealt with more death than a imperial japanese war camp. comedy is one of the few ways i haven’t killed myself yet.

 

[Abowaffen]

I'm glad that we're even-handed in pointing out lolcows on the left and the right, but given how savage we are towards figures like Nick Fuentes et al, are we basically Clinton Democrats at this point?

He got v&, lel

 

[Q !!Hs1Jq13jV6]

This isn't a joke. I'm sexually suicidal and I jack off to death. The doctors say I have a disease but I find that really fucking hard to believe

 

[EyeGuy]

"The anus picture is NOT from the nudes leak."
https://odysee.com/@mati:c/2023-july-21-mad-at-the-internet:7

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Please make sure to keep a full supply of Verification Estrogen to inject in front of the camera when logging in.

 

[Gog & Magog]

I was straight until I realized that women were despicable trash and then swore them off entirely. Best decision I ever made.

 

[JethroTullamore]

Of course. You don't want a hungry, starving dog near your dick.

You can entrust your asshole to me

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I need to know what format of Magic he plays, it haunts me.

 

[cherrysour]

being “trans” just means not being you

 

[Return of the Freaker]

They can't even rub 2 Jewish sticks together and light a hot take anymore.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

You get 5 USD (hard currency) I get your eardrums. I then call the cops on you because you can't hear me telling you to "LEAVE NOW!". The cops shoot you because you're a nigger and we're in US of A


You get 150 rubles and I get your penis. I feed penis to my dog and it is still very hungry.


You get 12 Tarentaise (good looking breed, high fat/high protein milk) and I get all your body hair. You don't grow it back. Thank you please leave, don't let the cows shit in my store.


You get my spit (worth $1 000 000) in your face and I take your balls. You were never going to use them.

 

[Gentlebastard]

The Golden Girls weren't swapping fuckbuddys, unless I missed that episode.

emotional support stripper

Nigger is not a skin tone. It is a state of mind.

"r/rapefantasies"

welp, that's enough internet for today

How did he manage to cum that much?

yes they grow shit in California other than retards

In our area, uncrustables were restricted to a rival chain. Customers acted like I had personally shit in their car.

God I wish I could have shit in their cars.

I think they hate assault forums like the Farms too

might be the first time in history someone has stolen an applebee's photo for a flex.

I hate playing to stereotypes, but you can tell they're not real women because they didn't use this as an excuse to go to TJ Maxx and buy a decorative apothecary jar.

This is the day I felt old as fuck being on a shitpost forum, kids today don’t learn their history

Come to Kiwi Farms for the ability to call niggers niggers and faggots faggots, stay to discover the many reasons why aliens lock their doors when they travel through this solar system.

Never buy girl drinks. Unless it's for girls. And then don't forget to include roofies.

>doxed by a magnet and a Monster can
common trans L.

The Kevin Gibes of the world are trying to shove the glass jar up OUR rectums.

Imagine the absolute state of your life that you, as a man, brag about buying girly drinks, and getting so wasted on your trough of bacardi that you pass out in the woman's bathroom.

Now, imagine that none of this actually happened and you stole the picture off a trending twitter post and made up the story for "clout."
And you're proud of having done this.

So when he said "barrel chested" he meant he looks like the warp points on Donkey Kong Country.

He should have just posted a picture of himself sucking a dick. It would have been less gay.

Even after getting a fleshtube and double mastectomy, women still fill their rooms with knickknacks and macrame.

Never seen an attractive person with that word on their bio.

got that tard rage potential look going for him

a shooting star of a Lolcow. Blink, and you’d miss him, but boy did he shine bright with tard rage, dumb antics, and awful pictures of himself. It was magnificent and we should all be greatful to have been around to witness it.

 

[Otis Mallebrok]

Ireland was once terrorized by the Black and Tans, now they're being terrorized by the Blacks and Trans

Nicholas J. Fuentes is a mentally stunted imbecile, his braincells were ejaculated from his daily tranny porn jerk sessions.