random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

Mod edit: today's Animal Control feature is brought to you by the sticker . If you just want to share how much you don't like bronies or how you're surprised they still exist, please just rate this post with .

May Allah forgive me, he's British.

He's a literal retard. Maybe if it was a panel on shitting your own pants he'd have something to contribute.

"Nooooo it is you who is going be be colonised planet child. Enjoy terraforming"

I can't decide if this thread is more depressing than it is funny. You can't fix these people, you just have to let them crash and burn.

I've seen open wounds that looked more appetizing than this.

I hope their convention gets crashed by diaper wearing furries.

Cereal-Box psych incoming-

I can hear the cholesterol in his voice

"The Temptations of Tiny Tim" sounds like some weird coming of age erotica written by a sicko in a guild of pedophiles

This is hilarious. These people repeatedly poke themselves in the eye and wonder why they’re blind.

Announcement to all shareholders and traders: all business will be suspended on the 8th August in case terminally online schizos think we're secretly Nazis

New York not only home of the Jew, but also home of the retard too.

 

[vomitusdeux]

You're a stupid retarded nigger plus you're gay and you have AIDS.

you can clean with many things that aren't soap

I thought I was looking at some fart fetish image, those smoke clouds should be desaturated ASAP.

Edit: There's one of them burping so I'm not sure.

To be fair, the actor (probably) shits himself less.

She isn't ethnically a Dalmatian or Antelope either

speak for yourself faggot, i watch porn to make sure that the pool is cleaned by the end of it

I can't believe the Jews would trick our poor friend @Night Crawler into jacking off to incest anal tranny porn. They can't keep getting away with this.

OP, if I were a 13 or 14 year old boy I would rape you.

This nigga looked at that one shota meme, said "I wish that were me" and made it his entire personality

Nothing turns my clitoris into a clitor-isn’t more than peens.

BATHROOMS IN CAGES, BATHROOMS IN CAGES

WHO BUILT THE CAGES, JOE?

Despite all my rage
the school makes me shit in a cage

While John Brennan believed he was a father, he tattooed the child’s name, Travis, on his upper arm. It now reads: 'Travesty.'

Similar to the post of his that got deleted and other porn remarks he's made on here. He's very much into anal sex and also has a 2TB thumb drive of that shit too.

A local woman's pussy IS the beautiful nature of a foreign country probably.

That's uhhh, very girly, or flamboyantly homosexual, pink font, Ms. Bones.

Imagine if they made a niggerbomb. Just a giant watermelon that fell out of the sky onto Haiti. SPLAT

Animal Crossing in an eroge.

I'm the type to put you down to bring myself up
so when I rape a bitch I hold her down to get my best nut

(Him not wanting to touch a public toilet so he opts to shit on the floor and pick it up with his hands instead)

I choose to believe he sent a cum picture there which wasn’t saved in time by the catfish before he got post-nut regret and deleted it. We can never really know for sure, though.

I refuse to believe that's there still that many horse fuckers left in the world.

Brony being a groomer when they are not known for being particularly well groomed.

>See that a clopper got accused of trying to diddle kids
>Nigger literally calls himself Fluffle Puff

And if you're a gooner, and are ever reading smut off of the mlp board (God help you at that point)

How about pedo/phile. I think those are the best pronouns for this clopper

Congratulations on having a normal human response.

Not all homos, but most homos I have known have had serious boyfriend drama. As such, meth-and-shotgun level drama.

They should be fighting with aids needles and catty remarks for muh realism!

That's some very feminine five o'clock shadow there, Mx.

I wanna see a fat diesel dyke snap a rickety twitter tranny in half

We should make a darkie pony called Gibsmuhdat just to watch them seethe lol.

No bronies are allowed near Bluey

I forbid it

Change your avatar

That's an interesting way to say 'cum'.

I'm going to beat you with a boat oar and leave you at the BBC's front door as a message to stop this blue bland dog and the continued humilation ritual put upon the australians, bring back the goon bag holocaust.

I've been targeted over my fake breasts - I just want to be left alone: Scottish father, 49, claims an attacker tried to smash his window in vicious harassment over his unique look

Kiwi Farms: a tale of Socks and Cucks

Well he's got that pedo smirk, so it's only a matter of time until he's busted for cp.

I was referring to the eight-armed pajeet god derpherp

He can detransition but he can't un-castrate himself.

P.S. Null once again proven right about homosexual men; faggots will never miss an opportunity to tell you how much they love AIDS-riddled buttsex, even if they regularly participate in a site that mocks people for their strange sexual proclivities

TL;DR maybe I'm the cow.

"We'd totally taser a confused drunk guy in his own home if he didn't cooperate with us."

Oh, okay. That's fine then.

I love having AIDS-riddled buttsex

 

[JustSomeDong]

I mean, with tags like Hyper Cum, Plausible Size Difference, Nanotech and Infectious, it's probably best that I don't read it.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

I've already explored 80% of the map just to level up that much and I spent most of that time annoyed at my stupid fucking molasses-type dragon.

UnderRail sound like the name of a gay porn parody for undertale.

KiwiFarms debate about pedos NO.600000000000000000000

E.Y.E. thread and an Underrail thread on the same day? Kiwis showing they have some taste today.

 

[Tablet County]

(Seriously, this is the second time within a MONTH, a user on the Farms has been outed as someone
that wanted to fuck cats, what the fuck)

View attachment 5896519
Ghost of Fentshima

New York not only home of the Jew, but also home of the retard too.

If god didn't intend for me to do his work then he wouldn't of given me amphetamines and firearms.

If you call me a balding manlet one more time, Yahweh will rain down his wrath down upon ye

 

[Black Man Underwear]

@Judas Connor Moon

he busted on the rug
of course
and paint
bugs
wood chips
god knows what else

@The Pulverizer

I have a love hate relationship with 4chan

 

[Aunt Carol]

He’s still a retarded pervert, but at least he’s honest.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

the last 7/8 of my book is optional, spam, noise, context

i see myself as a "natural born soldier", aka "natural born serial killer".
but i will never be a conventional "soldier",

His lawyer explains: "My client is homeless, came to court in a Rape-me-T-Shirt and demanded execution by burning.

come back when you have pictures of his grandma's asshole you faggots

Even with a condom on, I have to imagine introducing an object like a banana to an environment as sensitive to change as a vagina would cause some nasty infections and taste… unpleasant, to say the least.

only a danger to himself and bearded dragons

I have to be frank with you all; I haven't read it. I'm not reading it. I mean, with tags like Hyper Cum, Plausible Size Difference, Nanotech and Infectious, it's probably best that I don't read it.

One woman said: "I thought [it] was a badger."

"As I got closer I could see it wasn’t, but in fact a man with a mask on, who was crawling and writhing on the ground."

 

[LurkTrawl]

He was running in front of cars at night then dropping and wiggling while touching his dick.

 

[Crypto Six Gorillionaire]

I am not a gimp, I do not own a gimp suit.

 

[BirdUp]

Without going into detail, a couple years ago while cruising on Scruff I visited a man twenty years older then me who wanted to suck me off, who was partners with the guy that became my boyfriend. They were in an open relationship where the older guy would blow random guys all the time and do drugs like meth. I visited a few times after, then I was in a position where I needed to find a new place to live and they invited me to become a triad with them move in so the older guy could keep my balls empty. Fast forward a while and the older guy got increasingly unstable as he wasn't telling his doctor about his drug usage and was on a lot of meds that didn't react well to him missing doses, and my current boyfriend was going to engineering school and badly needed a level of stability and did not want to deal with the imagined Russian Mafia hiding in the tree across the street. It eventually reached a point where the two of us had to move out and find our own place. The old guy got more unstable and his friends and doctor eventually found out about the drug use and had to completely rework his meds, which led to him attacking the people living in the mattress and going through a bad situation that lead to his death.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I thought this nigga was cool. Turns out he's a gay cuck. Well that's just another day on the Kiwi Farms I guess.

Please hang everyone involved.

I rub them down monthly with mink oil and years later they still look like new.

At $20 a thumbnail, you guys owe me half a million dollars.

 

[Hitman One]

the "anal sex" is entirely theoretical.

 

[AltisticRight]

>Supporting OJ during his case when I was 9-10 years old was one of the most superb seasons in my entire life.
>Why did I support OJ? I don't know. It just felt like punk rock to support OJ because I already hated the entire system so fucking much.

 

[Tablet County]

Irish polar explorers are a white supremacist dogwhistle.

Teens choke women during sex because of tvs shows.

I choke women during sex because I hate them.

We are not the same.

I do have a soft spot for Dawkins because he's brilliant on the subject of evolution but I wish he had the moral conviction to discuss neck-up evolution in homo-pyramidbuildicus.

>stop buying food
>die

>stop buying water
>die

>stop buying social contract points (paying taxes)
>glowniggers send me to jail and Big Vanja Kurvamov sodomizes me to death
>???
>die

 

[Betonhaus]

Sir this is about russian war not about your dick .

 

[MDWU]

When @AgendaPoster masturbates it's not only gay, but it's also illegal because it's essentially a grown man with his hand on a child cock.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I'm not sure which is weirder from that list - the bike reflector or the hot towel. How in the fuck do you lose a whole towel up your cunt?

Your threads wound my soul always.

I'm not sure if I love or hate that international diplomatic incidents now involve emojis

This is why you should winterise your vagina.

People say everything went wrong when women were given the vote. In actuality its probably when they were allowed to act in the 1660s.

I don't believe in God or Santa Claus, but the Tooth Fairy exists and wears boots.

It occurs to me that I made a post just like this a few months back. Huh, maybe I'm the old man yelling at the sky.

Look at those meaty man hands. You could break an oxen's neck with those.

Your friend should consider being slightly less homosexual. I mean seriously what is wrong wtih him? He sounds incredibly gay.

I'm gonna pretend this fake as fuck story is completely real for a minute, but that shit is upsetting to read about.

We are sure going to have an egg on our face when it's found that the only plant capable of growing in martian soil is the Tomlinson Tomato, the extremely resilient variant that evolved in a fat retard's salted backyard.

He is gay. Could be why he's so snobbish about meat grinding and mincing.

>explaining yourself or even talking to redditards
Why on earth would you ever do that lol

My job as a professional troll demanded it, my boss would've fired me otherwise.

His delusions boil down to "why are they replacing the zirconia on my ring with real diamonds?" Totally idiotic, fat and illiterate.

The patients are fighting each other again back in Bedlam

the brain of a retarded dorky teenager in the body of a 40something alcoholic

 

[Tablet County]

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Let Wednesday Addams be gay!"

... and I'll look down, and whisper "no."

that's my unpopular opinion for today. I kind of like Mao Zedong.

Welcome to 2024 where in order to laugh at fat bitches with BPD smoking meth pipes they found on the floor and men being surprised that mangling their dicks didn't improve their sex lives, we have to hang out with the Hitler was a goodboi crowd.

If you personally can rise to a position of power that lets you run things off a cliff, that will be your right as one of the Great Men of History. If you're a big fan of MATI and Metokur streams, probably just keep playing video games and maybe try and find a girlfriend.

Current year is just an IQ test on how much money you need to make so you can get away from the civil rights act legally.

if I were Queen of the Jews I’d make the rabbis eat their mechitza stick by stick so that they shit splinters till the Third Temple lands.

Sun Tzu says, 'Let your smell cloud their strategy and clear the table'.

OH OH ONE SIX
FEMALE RAPISTS, MOST HAVE DICKS

We're not gonna leave our basements until we get government-issued waifus!

My autistic mind can't even fathom hating Rush.

 

[LurkTrawl]

The worst-smelling person I've ever encountered was a morbidly obese guy at a Pokemon event in 1999. I've never smelled anyone or anything that awful since then, not even homeless people or dead animals.