random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[BirdUp]

he was more like Yagoda. And kuz was like Nero. It's like Nikita Yagoda the jew grooming Nero. cause kuz and yagoda sit both on shitcord posting cp to each other, archon spirits say.

 

[Musashi's Son]

You are a male. Only females can cast curses.

 

[Mr Bunny]

ah yes, once again drama in kiwifamrs has led to the study of erectile dysfunction among the norwegian population

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

But as an orthodox Christian, are you a stranger to punctuation?

I have no stake in this slapfight or the greater conflict in Ukraine, but you're pissing and shitting and cumming everywhere and I find that entertaining.

it's not that rods from God or impractical is that as soon as someone starts doing stuff like that everyone's going to start doing it and it just creates a big mess

smoke weed everyday
no bullshit, keeps me from having to sort out wrassle clowns of mexico based on employment with major companies, couple of legit tismo buddies who run screaming from anything illegal have accidentally got stoned and also agree it helps a shitload
the call to Wapner in Five Minutes is still there, but you can be like "yeah, some Wapner sounds cool, I should get on that later but have some shit to do now"

In other related news, Sweet Baby Inc has just launched massive lawsuit for copyright infringement against several of the biggest game emulating websites. The Canadian Parliament has also launched a new initiative to target pirated gaming. The Biden Administration has also issued new guidelines to the FBI that playing old ROMs of Pokemon and Super Metroid are signs of extremist behaviors and will be prosecuted with the full girth of Alvin Bragg's diseased nigger cock.

Mmmpox dada Dada Dada mmmpox Duba Dada mmmpox... Yeah yeah yeah...

I wake up with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

It's like he specifically sought out experiences that he wouldn't enjoy, just to complain.

That's an awful lot of words to call a guy a Jew.

State sanctioned cannibalism sounds great

But sure, tell me how great your corner store is. Mine has a monorail.

Anyway, the quality of the food probably contributed to the factors leading up to the shooting, if you ask me. I can see someone getting shot over this.

 

[Harm]

so now i have a "child porn entry" in my police record for life. they do this, because when idiots hear "child porn", their brains shut down and immediately switch to "death to all child fuckers" mode... democracy really is just a mob rule

 

[Aunt Carol]

This man seems both genuinely frothing-at-the-mouth enraged and also homosexual. I think he needs some type of medical help.

 

[Tablet County]

"You like things in your ass. That's gay."

Deserved a Pulitzer for that alone.

My mind, free of the constraints of porn and indecent imagery, was able to calculate her weight based on the ripple in the testosterone continuum produced by her footsteps as she walked away from me.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN......HERE IN THE RING TONIGHT WE PRESENT THE TARDFIGHT OF THE CENTURY

MAN OF PIG

VS

MAN IN WIG

"In the vast majority of cases, natural breast milk is better for the infant than formula is."
"WELL, IT WASN'T BETTER FOR ME, CHILD!"

You will give a 5-star review or enjoy prison.

The bombs must flow.

I think you should get a reevaluation for autism.

 

[Hitman One]

I have reported this thread to the constabulary due to it's potentially hateful implication.

 

[Rotollo 2]

There. I did it. Am I black now?

 

[P. Barnes’ THOT 2.0]

I love this fat fucking idiot gets hayfever and her immediate reaction is to hassle the federal government about it.

 

[Gentlebastard]

For someone who claims to be a wog he sure is fucking dumb about pasta.

Agree with the sentiment but I think you mean wop.

Oi Police! You seen this? Women are just going around laughing at us. HATE CRIME.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 Hitler 9.

Tactical Manfeet.

While she does have a point about that dude being a retard asshole, raging at him makes no sense.

Imagine being such a homosexual that sucking on a titty would kill you.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN......HERE IN THE RING TONIGHT WE PRESENT THE TARDFIGHT OF THE CENTURY

MAN OF PIG

VS

MAN IN WIG

Who could have believed that a man so defined by his bitchtits turns out to be such a whiny bitch about tits?

I'm in the 4chan thread on Kiwi Farms and now I have a message: Nigger.

That is all.

Troons giving themselves self-induced erectile dysfunction will never not be funny to me.

Revolting as the thought may be, semen is usually supposed to contain a good deal of nutrients.

To be fair it's really not that hard to not be an asshole, but I guess that's a bit much for some peole.

He is allergic to all breast milk.
Only man milk can satisfy him.

Prepare for heartwrenching scenes, high stakes drama, and a fat motherfucker in need of gibs. Prepare for a distilled stereotype at it's finest.

But don't worry guiz, heart gud, lung gud *death gurgles*, beepee gud *flatlines for a second*

It's actually amazing to see him craving validation in real time.

Methanol poisoning arc?

The lips say "I am trying to mimic a hu-man smile" while the eyes say "I will murder you and wear your skin".

That bitch is a full thanksgiving dinner, not a snack.

I'm baffled at how some fellow Kiwis ever managed to make it through any of his books. He writes like a mentally-stunted teenager entering his edgy phase.

 

[Pissmaster]

Ok what did y'all think of TND? I was quite entertained despite it being obviously ridiculous. It's hard to "rate" because it's so unlike most other things, but I would say it's an 8/10 ...it created its own reality and succeeded on its own terms

I didn't defend any pedos. I said if I was a 13 or 14 year old I would fuck a 22yr old girl.

I was literally banned for being a straight white male.

 

[eatler]

I never said I wanted to fuck my own family.

When you watch a horror movie and you see some really gory shit do you think it's real? If you play a video game do you literally think you are the main character?

Can you not distinguish reality from fiction?

No one watches porn for the story dude. Get a fucking a clue and stop being a faggot. LOL

 

[Aunt Carol]

(nothing personal, just transphobic)

I see spoiler: GROSS, and I’m thinking, “there’s our girl!”

 

[Local Fed]

Time to bring back fursecution.

Jesus didn’t exist because the letter J wasn’t invented until the 17th century

"I do not consent to being born. I am not being born, I am merely traveling through the uterus. I am a sovereign baby citizen"

Priest: The power of Christ compels you!
Shaman: Ooga Booga!
Rabbi: Oy Vey! You owe back rent!

Much like Simon Peter denying Christ, the State Department has denied knowing Gonzalo Lira.

There were times I was literally sitting head in hands staring at the site on Tor at 4am wondering what the fuck I do next.

Violence & intoxication are not the way to solve problem. And neither is calling upon a Demon lord.

 

[vomitusdeux]

Hector being a lying cunt and Japanese people stuffing their dead relatives in bootleg Chinese cookie jars are not mutually exclusive.

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR PRONOUNS
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR PRONOUNS
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR PRONOUNS
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR PRONOUNS

Then why does it taste so good when I mace my chili?

"I had a boiled egg this morning and, in many ways, Jesus is a lot like that boiled egg..."

From the POV of an outsider this just looks like all T&H are neurodivergent homosexuals.

“Wapanese” just makes me thing of that one sheboon niggerslop song that Ben Shapiro had a meltdown over.

I can confirm that I actually did have a real non-troon Asian GF for a brief time, although I am still a virgin.

I actually did ask a doctor to assess if I had autism, and he found I do NOT.

Make of that what you will…

Hentai addicts can still have girlfriends

Won't somebody think of the HR Managers in six figure sinecures?!!!

I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I only changed my profile pic to Junko recently, as a reference to the mass shooting committed by an insane “non-binary” person with a Junko profile pic.

i would have killed the child, because it has no future.

Its like spending decades fapping about how amazing and superior and uniquely special St Louis is because it has a Chick-Fil-A within its borders.

You've wounded my sensitive burger soul.

You were a child yourself at one point in the past. With that fact in mind, you should probably kill yourself, to be philosophically consistent.

Hm, I don't even know why anyone would come to this conclusion on the PAGE 7-FUCKING-HUNDRED of this thread.

Come on, Lawry's making a corn starch with their seasoning salt in it would be funny.

I am so sorry that you have to deal with a retard jerking off on company property that others have to touch.

OK I am sending Josh my ID this instant so I can be verified. I know it won't prove I'm not a child, but it's the least I can do.

Even Chris knew to be coy about the Barbussy.

I wouldn't be surprised if my brain willfully misremembered the facts of an incident involving a mushy banana filled condom

Can anybody really call Null functional?

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION CELLS IN THE HUMAN BODY. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF CELLS IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR TRANNIES AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

Okay, we're now officially at "Paris Hilton personally rescues kids while the system refuses to do its job."

I know his penis is non-functional

Read the suicide note, retard. Go back your baby fur roleplay telegram

come back when you have pictures of his grandma's asshole you faggots

that mass Shooter that had the anthro dog from "marta speaks" on his phone as the last image he saw before a shooting, is so pathetic, that it just makes me laugh.

the truth will come out, because if you can't persuade furries not to cum on pizza or shit their diapers in a convention hall, you can't persuade them not to run their mouths either.

I doubt she's mixed, she looks like more facial deformities.

Imagine having to explain to people at the dog shelter that you are putting the dog up for adoption because he cucked you.

Go home and play your Nintendo Switch like a good little autist.

She's definitely got the feetie alky syndies.

Maybe next time don't bitch at me for making fun of someone's proclivities to eat ass just because she's your internet fwiend

What makes it weirder is he also likes to brag about his girlfriend who pegs him and makes him crossdress

I can tell you where the freakazoid jigglypuff is; over in my darn private IMs

With a stomach like that there has to be at least 5 puppies in there

Just consider how you would feel if you awoke from a sound sleep and Hillary Rodham Clinton was crouching over your peen, Jimmy Cricketing herself up and down, up and down, like a pneumatic dick milking machine. She crouches over your gunt like she's the Hobgoblin riding on the saucer of death, all as Clinton Global Initiative funds are flying in all directions:

Yeah, I'm pretty fucking sure you would be traumatized, too.

Eeeewww gross girls are yucky. Who could ever think about having sexual relations with a woman.

Thought for the day: if it had been the Great Dane that followed the kids round the store with his dick hanging out, he would have been castrated.

My first and only impression of you was you admitting to watching incest porn.

Of course. Getting pegged is a possibility.

Like, zoinks, Scoob. I thought you were only hungry for food not ass.

Imagine having to explain to your girlfriend that both your parents are in prison. One for masturbating to children in a grocery store and the other for fucking a dog.

IT'S NOT RAPE THEY DIDN'T PUT ANYTHING IN HIS ASS.

This is the guy who had to stare at his own reflection to remember what his face looks like.

Aye chihuhua, somebody stop this gringo

But because the hill you chose to die on is not named Mount Niggerfaggot, you'll have to hoist this banner alone.

 

[Tablet County]

Man, I can't believe my favorite game "My Step-Mom is a Futanari" isn't considered art.

The undisputed success of the Tranch proves that insane tranny communes are the way forward.

 

[LastStableVersion]

this was all just a cover-up so that the satanic nwo pedophilic democrat LGBTQ globalist cabal elite could escape in the chaos after finishing their drag story hour cumpizza blood ritual in the hotel

 

[Nigor]

There are 'cum trees'.