random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sparkling Yuzu]

If only "queer" didn't signify people who are far less interesting than they believe themselves to be

I wouldn’t trust her to babysit my pet rock.

I've got no interest whatsoever in learning about whatever mutilated abortion a troon thinks passes for genitalia. I know enough that I want to avoid it at all costs.

within a selfmade fart gas chamber of similar opinions.

Poor guy got his dick turned into roadkill

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Rabies, what? No, the dog got him pregnant

 

[KiwiFuzz]

“GOD’S PLAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”
*shuffles*
“gawds plan! unh! unh!
wwhhhhAAAAAAAATT!?
issa GAWD PLAAAN!”
*shuffles side to side and chuntles*
“AHH TOLE YEW! AAAHH TOLE YEW MUFUKAH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOWW!!!!”
*horse brays*

You are right, I didn't even read his comment so actually reading it I look like a retard. He still is completely wrong and an utter idiot.

Maybe if you get rid of that old yee-yee ass lipstick you got you'd get some bitches on yo' dick niggaaaaa

 

[JustSomeDong]

"Hey just got outta rehab partially for being unstable. Anywho... Here's my gun"

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

In Rural China, where the male/female population is way out of wonk because of Communist social experiments, multiple brothers will all marry the same woman. They go to bed with her one by one, tossing a load off in her. However, only the oldest brother is ever "the father" to any kid, regardless of who actually sired the little nong because it makes family politics easier.

Now, imagine this: some illiterate soybean dirt farmers from the fourth world are gang banging a woman and have managed to figure out the politics behind this whole familia structure when these high falooting NY honkies can't even decide on what to call themselves.

Why do redditors always add so much meaningless detail to their fake stories? Autism? Lack of real life human contact?

Is this for his cat, or for himself?

Watching RWBY is like watching a friend troon out.

I’m half-tempted to concern troll about that fact on their subreddit, but that would involve me making (may Allah forgive me for saying this) a Reddit account

A side-effect of approaching cows directly so you can get upvotes on the Farms is having people find out that you are or at least were a practicing attorney in Ohio and you love fat chicks. You should have stayed on Reddit.

this is all just a big war, a war to see who can suck the most tranny cock.

Do you need us to hold your hand and have an intervention?

Ug, getting dragged down a 40k lore debate in a gun thread, but hey, what the hell...

And always remember the most important rule with firearms: if you think it might be illegal, don't fucking tell anyone.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

I could, but the tardmoans would ruin it for me.

 

[Aunt Carol]

if his dick is smelling bad he isn't taking good care of his hygiene.

We'll never see that hula hoop in action. Pour one out for the hula hoop.

I have a wood burning tool and a projector, how many of you are interested in deranged folk art?

 

[Spud]

I will catcall women from a distance with a megaphone. That will make them feel better!

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

I’m actually a bit creeped that this thread made me mentally count how many sinks I have. Surely there has never been a more strange measure of a man’s worth.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

I knew that the first few times I smelled a black pussy. It's a little mustier than other women. It's not horrible, it's just got a slight pungent aroma.

mayoniase (just don't like it i think it's yucky)

Rabies, what? No, the dog got him pregnant.

 

[Piggle Rick]

Awww man why you do me like that?

 

[Kill a Troon for Pikamee]

I tried fucking a child and hated every moment of it

 

[Jonah Bark]

His theory of mind is as strong as his theory of portion control.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

It's not usually about race, although your indignant niggy lips perpetually snarling probably doesn't help.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Mildly long sperg ahead:

The failure is so incredibly bizarre, it’s almost deliberate.

Surely making a trauma surgery nurse laugh while watching a patient die has worth? Laughter has value, does it not?

I don't know what the fuck she is (fed or troll or what) but she's playing her part beautifully.

And here I thought the point of plastic surgery was to look pretty and not look like your mother was drinking when she was pregnant

please come back to the farms, i enjoyed your schizo postings, i kind of miss them.

but we're the ones in a cult because we find fat people stepping on rakes amusing.

I feel incredibly bad for this innocent man… but I can’t deny this is an unbelievable shitshow that I”m going to be watching with popcorn.

I’m imagining it being like a TLC reality show, except they don’t even need to manufacture drama, it just happens on its own.

I suspect they don't know you're supposed to wipe after taking a shit and you expect them to know the law?

it’s always the tiniest women and hugest men who troon out.
Seriously, I want to know the science behind that. It fucking can’t be denied.

Very pronounced late Roman empire vibes with the deployments to far off lands while the mainland slowly collapses due to crumbling infrastructure and political corruption.

please be careful, i dont want to see any of our brothermen or kiwi frens harmed in the course of pat posting

I literally have nothing to add save "WTF."

It just proves one thing, you need a legitimate retard on the case.

Nevertheless we must gas all Europeans

This website is all about accuracy after all.

Like the humble hermit crab needs a bigger shell, the Sonichu Totem Demon needs a larger, fatter host for its new corporeal form.

I sincerely hope I never see something that stupid again.

I dunno, I enjoy a good lack of impulse control from time to time.

a bad case of alog brain confirmation bias

a cautionary tale against alogging. He gazed into the abyss too long and look what it got him.

alogs are just lolcow pupae

Walking around town the last few days I am getting very bummed out about the fate of the noble metalhead/grunge rocker/ working class guy who has a band and a shitty day job.

Never were the bravest or smartest or best but they were my tribe and they had a lot of good points to them and fun times.

Totally ravaged by troonery now.

This all seems so retarded, but at the same time the people involved are also retarded so maybe that's normal? I just don't know what's true anymore.

Homie, log off.

Methnostate hat back on.

He’d talk a bunch of shit, then go down in one punch and crumple like an obese deck of cards.

Smart choices aren't really this fella's thing, as we can clearly tell.

they were going to be as smooth as James Bond, but it really deserved some yakety sax.

I've always wondered how troons buy shoes.

Amazon, of course.

The pun is purely unintentional.

Can you imagine how red his little porky face would get?

"Marvel movies, & their consequences, have been a disaster for the human race"

If the internet were real, there would be a petition for a retarded Barbie of color doll to be made.

Zero degrees of separation from the Amhole. ZERO DEGREES OF SEPARATION.

The Smell.

You're just a sinkcel

 

[Blackhole]

Joe Biden is so old he fucking predates the oldest recorded Sumerian Cuneiform Tablets- but honestly he's a less extreme example. Rupert Murdoch is so old he could qualify as a Precambrian lifeform. Bernie Marcus predates the geological record. Dianne Feinstein is so old she predates the existance of H20 molecules on the planet- and when the good ol' boys of South Carolina consistently voted to keep sending Storm Thurmond to the senate well past the age of 100 he might as well have been born in the Planck Epoch. Dude was so old and so decreipt and senile and geriatric and frail I can only assume he was basically kept alive by sacrificing countless Psykers on a daily basis.

alogs are just lolcow pupae; time and time and time again it's been proved

I'm just watching this faggot troon going back and forth destroying my investment portfolio like he's the fucking Black Death of stock investments.

I miss the days when corrupt governments just pocketed money.

 

[vomitusdeux]

Putting :3 in a message like that really makes me believe they are professional pharmacists.

Oh wait, that seems like the behavior of a pharmacy that puts pubes and glitter in injectables. Nevermind.

A bunch of dickless men who cannot find the clit, had a fake one put on by someone who cannot make a clit.

But blaming the monkey for its love of shit is stupid. It is a monkey, it loves shit and flinging it. You may as well blame a dog for barking or a cat for scratching things, or a gypsy for doing the stealful or a jew for stabbing you in the back.

Slowly transitioning into Winston Churchill.

A corkscrew penis would be an impressive feat of surgery, not to mention the amazing waterfall peeing it could produce

Don't try to fool me. That's obviously a middle aged gorilla in a dress.

First female to ostrich surgery, let's go:

"Walk softly and carry a big clit-penis, dood."

I mean, dude had to wear his girlfriend's panties to get hard. You really think he has the balls to sexually offend anyone?

ACK-ually, that was Teddy Poonsvelt.

Adam's dick is depressing. Mournful even.
I want to take his dick out back and give it a dignifed burial.

If he wants to be Japanese so badly maybe he should commit seppuku

I find it very interesting that his pubes appear to be roughly as long as the full length of his cock if you pulled them taut.

I interpreted the picture as a cute cat sitting on a bed next to a dildo with bizarre fake hair for some reason and had to scroll back up to confirm that it was his actual penis with the cat on his lap when the thread convo alerted me to the horrifying truth.

You can't expect a forum to go from having pronoun selection in the user account creation to having a permanent gif of Sneed and Chuck dabbing on the front page literally overnight.

We have taken any decision making authority about influencer engagement away from anyone lower than senior director. Anyone we engage with will be vetted to make sure they are not a ghoulish tranny that is just a faggot AGPing it up as skinsuit Aubrey Hepburn so this does not happen again. Anyone who goes on any media will NOT even allude to talking shit about our customer base. We are absolutely in full damage control back pedal mode.

Let it be remembered that "Deleted Account" made a filter of a cropped image of Schrodinger from Hellsing getting fucked in the ass as a response to the word "nazi".

A lot of us use Tamagotchi as an escapism from this kind of bigotry

I'd sell trans pride flag colored rope that can bear the weight of a human being but it probably wouldn't be worth all the shit I'd get for it.

My man thinks a tamagachi is gonna stab him to death

The Harry Potter/Digimon crossover is finally happening.

basically each of these arrests adds status to my #FIDELITY_ACCOUNT on the ECHELON system and makes it easier for me to kill yall

that creep with the boss baby avatar is always talking about what a boner killer the filthy basement and other animals are.

if u use or get someone else to use my ECHELON login im still gonna light you and your mom on fire in a dark cool basement after torturing u

Btw, faggot, I notice that I still remain unassassinated by the Masons.

 

[Meat Target]

Mothra1488 is an alog who follows me around like a lost yet extremely retarded puppy. Pay it no mind.

I'll trade you a K word pass for an N word pass. Can't get any fairer than that

 

[Zero Day Defense]

"I am a bitch nigga, a bloo bloo bloo"

 

[Aunt Carol]

It's called shitting myself with dignity.