random_text.txt

[Coelacanth]

Edit: It has come to my attention that this thread is titled Sex Toy General and not Snake toy general...

 

[Useful_Mistake]

he's called markiplier, top youtuber, and frankly isn't white as said in the tweet

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/Q458V

 

[Zero Day Defense]

"aggravated homosexuality"

 

[Gentlebastard]

This is the fabled uncle who works at microsoft.

FAT. NO SEX. SIMPLE AS.

Mmm, how exquisite. Is this a 2007 vintage Internet Tough Guy I taste? Oh yes, there they are, the notes of "claiming to be a hacker" and "you're done kiddo." Excellent flavor, I'll buy a whole bottle.

You will all be arrested for felony mean words on the Internet. Consequences will never be the same. Please do enjoy.

Riding on the creds of being a human automaton in a call center from like 9 years ago. Very cool hacker man

Yeah, imagine being into something so obscure.

Now if you don't mind me, I'm gonna go read about Chantal's latest bowel movement.

just got deadnamed by my PC's file paths

The right answer is to laugh in their faces. Not answering anything, just laughter.

Troons get confused, annoyed and then feel sadness cause they know why they get laughed at.

Laughter = best antittroon medicine

 

[Rembrandt]

Good post (I'm also high right now).

 

[NoReturn]

And you don't Jack Off in the Eloise Room.

He was on the Attack on Titan subreddit looking for George Floyd memes, can't you read?

 

[Stanislavic]

"Rape sucks, but I like children"

 

[Zero Day Defense]

I ended up on the Attack on Titan reddit looking for George Floyd memes

 

[BirdUp]

 

[Zero Day Defense]

if we're going to be together I'd prefer it if you didn't fuck a dozen different men on camera every month for the world to see

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Spoiler: Excessively long

Let's cross the streams and create an AI overlord that wil eternally torment anyone who doesn't take the Bible literally.

Still sounds like a good idea to threaten to build an evil AI with First Law Of Robots being "Torture Schlomo for eternity."

His old OKCupid profile is a riot, it's definitely worth a read.

That's a long way of saying "I don't bathe very often, my penis is misshapen/weird/small, and my partner gets more partners than I do and I'm extremely jealous of this fact."

And if the example of catparty has taught me only one thing, it's that mocking someone without caps is a perfectly valid way to engage in an argument.

You motherfucker.

I haven't thought about John Jacob Jinglehiemer-Schmidt since fucking elementary school.

this can only result in the most unsexy of sex cults.

We're watching a cult form before our eyes.

A really spergy, stupid cult.

No one wants to read that wall of autism, man.

making people read a note that long is more selfish than the suicide

I read the fanfic mentioned in the OP years ago and told the author it sucked ass. Now that I know he has a thread here, his reactions make much more sense.

All of western society is either Christian orthodoxy or Christian heresy. There is nothing else.

The future evil singularity will see my shitposts in this thread and recreate me to torture the Lesswrong spergs that tried to prevent its creation for all eternity.

Please, I beg you. Go outside. Go make friends. Play pick-up volleyball or at least go on hikes and say hi to people you see along the way. This isn't healthy. This isn't normal. You still have time to fix your life and stop posting this most insane of cringe.

When I was a kid, we had a book called "How to Dig to the Center of the Earth" or something along those lines, and it was a picture book of a boy who dug a giant hole, and kept digging, eventually needing some submarine-like device to go into the hotter and more dense parts.

I was very disappointed as a child when I was told that all this was theoretical and no one had actually dug into the inner core before.

But they have to deal with Nip men, who get a racial bonus to their autism score.

If the Earth were flat, then cats would have pushed everything off the edge of it by now.

This is why I keep all my silver buried in a several ammo cans in a corner of my root cellar hidden beneath a bunch of paint cans.

The Jeets will attempt to become uber drivers..and then realize that the Uber app doesn't work anymore.

The certification process for most blue-collar jobs is laughably easy as long as you're not an ESL, and you can roll into any company even if you're just going to be a tool bitch for a salty boomer with bad knees who doesn't want to keep running out to the truck.

I don’t know about you all... but this is the first time since college since I’ve felt alive. I have lots of silver and been waiting for this to happen for 10 years. The point where 1 silver Roosevelt dime buys me a blowjob from a formerly well to do housewife and her 18 year old daughter at the same time. I’ve been waiting in the shadows laughing at these cuck husbands who buy their wives range rovers instead of buying silver bullion... knowing that I’ll be face fucking their wives mouths for the 1.30$ it cost me to buy that silver dime.

Just this morning at Whole Foods I seamlessly entered a conversation with a roastie milf with a ring about SVB in the water aisle... and I said it’s the canary in the coal mine signalling the complete economic collapse of the US. She was looking at me in amazement like she wanted me to paint her lips in cum. At the end of the conversation I’m like take my number, maybe I can help you out if you are in a jam and she took it from me.

You realize you could’ve gotten laid without the soy apocalypse, right?

Why are kiwis watching a dude who looks like he's a professional dungeon master for their political takes?

I remember when I was a young teenager reading sex ed material that talked about what kind of experimentation was normal for young boys to partake in. I specifically remember reading that it was normal to experiment with "mutual masturbation" and "rubbing penises" with your friends, and that doing these things absolutely did not make you gay.

I had the natural disgust that a straight boy would have at being suggested that I should be rubbing my penis against my friends', which reinforced that it was definitely not normal for straight boys to do things like that. I was not a very sharp kid at that age, but that tripped even me up and made me wonder why they would say something so transparently untrue.

Let's get down to business to defeat the Hons
They claim that they're daughters, but we know they're sons
They're the maldest bunch you'll ever meet
But you'll learn before we're through
Null hates when, we say "Don't pozload my neghole"

Then just say nigger instead, idiot - problem solved.

An ex-President wouldn't use all-caps unless it was super-duper serious.

Chinese Tiktok even time limits based on age how long children can use the app. It's actually pretty wholesome from what I've read.

Meanwhile the rest of the world gets the coke line off a stripper's ass and shoot up a gas station version.

Eva is like the most popular anime that no one has watched.

So being eastern european is also a bad fit, who knew?

Just imagine a couple of teenagers in t-shirts and jeans trying to camp out on the side of a mountain with like 1 tent (if that) and a plastic baggie full of matches. All they have to eat are PopTarts and a couple cans of beanie weenies but they forgot to bring a can opener so it's just PopTarts.

That thread full of unironic kiwi vtuber autists has 7391 pages. Dear lord.

We NEED to flaunt disgusting sexual caricatures of woman in the faces of children and hopefully get those same kids hooked on ketamine and asshole!

I'm not a rapist, but if I was going to rape someone, I would remove their metal anti rape device. Like, hey I took her panties off but there is this huge mechanical metal cage. Might as well stick my dick in there.

death cults tend to die out due to excessive death.

This thread was made 1034 days ago and has 146462 messages. On average around 147 replies are posted daily.

I'm upset I cannot change the sub title to "Now open 24/7 selling chicken diversity sandwiches."

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

Spoiler: Excessively long

Exorcists are the public defenders of theology. High in demand, tons of work, and usually not much of a reward.

sanity often doesn't survive the passage of time

needs to undergo severe testicular contortion.

Transphobia is one of our proudest national traditions.

It might even be gayer than homosexual sex

reinstating the down syndrome ape.

the poop gnome and his boywife have been dethroned.

Being fat, lazy, and self-centered isn't a disability, or else most Americans would qualify for SSI.

it’s about wanting to purge niggers, it’s about wanting to shoot up American supermarkets because of the obesity

female-nigger centric

They want to be surrounded by Hypborean princesses, riding tigers will slaughtering niggers on a golden chariot.

I've legit got PTSD from trying to watch porn.

a mountain the size of the kilimanjaro made out of melons.

a collab between the dead air queen and breadtube's biggest loser

cocaine is a baby drug and only niggers can't quit it

looks like a succubus who became entangled in a Marshall’s clearance rack…..

Imagine if every primary school aged child got a whole identity change every time they w

ghost Dahmer woke her up by jerking himself off in his sleep

I've seen cleaner incisions and closures done by people who are more or less self-trained to perform surgery on laboratory rodents.

fewer streams where he licks peanut butter off a battery.

that time someone told me I'm a poor monkey and I immediately got chlamydia.

Acting like it was Buddy from Newfoundland, frothing at the mouth to send in the Mounties to kidnap children.

"Witches" don't do chemistry. They just mix a bunch of things that sound cool together and hope it solves their problems

everything other than a real penis would make a terrible penis.

Never clamp your clam on the crazy.

looks like an insensate, vampiric succubus…..

God, if you're listening, there's a girl down here who REALLY REALLY wants cancer nows your chance to prove you exist.

She transitioned into "a fuckboy".

they’re literally experts on what state a man’s scrotum is in and how that relates to the type of cumshot he produces

Like something two doctors might have thought up at Dachau after a night of schnapps and amphetamines.

I used to have no idea what knotting was, and then tumblr assaulted me with horrible knowledge.

I use Armie Hammer for my Deoderant cous I like to eat women out

It's like trying to fix fatherless homes with drive by's and purple drank.

Dry skin is not a journey of self discovery and expression of your authentic self. Just go buy some lotion.

her terminal illness. We all have that. It's called life

a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Not everyone who rapes children is a Grade-A capital P pedophile

Nothing good comes from having your wife showing off her massive milkers on the internet.

here was no internet, no marvel, no LGBT, we had slavery and everybody was Christian. Also, all countries were white until Black Panther invented blacks.

In about a decade, you’ll be able to kill yourself by running too many Skyrim mods on yourself.

Russians are inbred drug addicts and the Chinese are manlet, wispy power-bottoms.

Keep huffin gutter oil, ricenigs

nappy chungus

or beheading someone who licked his finger before turning the page of a Koran.

I have never met someone with a septum piercing whose IQ was higher than lukewarm.

senile mutt who wanted to be a royal Kardashian.

When I can't sleep I waste time browsing randoms on nhentai.

Meth is one hell of a beer goggles.

I hope Art Jepsin is beheaded with a rusty boxcuter.

I'd bet her idea of "pan" is that thing mommy cooks the eggs & bacy on.

fledgling hormone erections

Everyone’s a critic.

“The flower of my phallus opened as my manly loins pushed for the rainbow ecstasy I had yearned for since boyhood. As wave after wave of pleasure began crashing against the scar tissue, and urine dribbled from my proud balls, I licked the peach fuzz around my lips and cried “DESPITE EVERYTHING I DON’T REGRET THE SURGERY”. With one last spasm, I collapsed sobbing with euphoria into my stuffed shark collection.“

The last of the dying breed of big brained poon hounds, Stephen Hawking, is gone, and now it's all about being as retarded as possible in a 15 second video.

predatory trans lesbians sniffing discarded tampons and trying to watch women pee.

drooling in the corner of the room losing chess games against the potted plants

the lumpenproletariat are taught buttsex instead of multiplication tables.

Pretending to be an instagram thot wasn't enough for Mr. fag retard.
Now he transitioned into a cripple.

if this is what it takes to be a model then every other Guatemalan cleaning lady and Dominican nurse at an elder care facility is a model.

Anyone who donates to this fucking idiot should be checked if they're of age to play with Legos due to chocking hazard.

shes on the ethiopaian crackhead diet

Were the niggers and faggots and faggoty niggers gonna catch fire if they didn't tard out on a dance floor like an epileptic monkey glitching out?

this silicone gollum and her fag brigade

I don't want a mouth full of Colon Mucus.

some horrible torturing of goblin kind

a weenie hut jr version of early lymphoma

I think I could possibly get more lively poses and variety from a stick of jerky shoved into a mound of sand and dressed in doll clothes.

Thing about blacks is they are always on hair trigger, the veneer of civilization we beat into them can disappear in an instant. And the savage beast, that ape from the jungle will express itself.

pspspsps heeere junkyjunkyjunky pspsps here boy, coome on come over here we wont hurt you pspspspss come on...

human presenting

They think they can just slap genitals on and off like a nicotine patch.

Boys don't want to change in front of girls, even if the girl gets a bowl cut and says her name is Draco.

first go-to when learning about a new culture seems to be asking 'is it fuckable'.

I'd assume her tears were from laughing at curry breath trying to sound tough.

consent accident enthusiast Liz Fong Jones

"But I want to fly!" "You're valid, you should jump!"

crepe stores are hooters for The French

fuhrerself

We have families, careers, and real life spouses that aren't plants or fake.

THE ANTIBIOTICS WILL THEN ATTACK MY WATERHEAD CHILD I HAD AT 40 AND MAKE THEM EVEN MORE RETARDED THAN THEY ARE NOW!!!!!

If Freud was still around he would shoot himself looking at this.

Collect belly pee hole piss into a cup

it's an upper-middle class lad from Newcastle skinwalking as his gay crossdressing crush from Baltimore.

multiple over the counter abortions

You do this again and I'll write the a-log of a lifetime, you little goblin tramp.

You know how conservative Christians are. If IRL A dumb ratings don't bother us, you think your sticker on here hurts us?

smelly granola gremlin

Just get your rocks off on vore like the other depraved weirdos online. It'd be less shameful.

An AGP vs. dysphoria civil war

My non verbal totally potatoe son is really my daughter

I'd rather fuck a beehive daily than marry a Canadian woman.

now he must cope as a tuna tard wrangler.

Congratulations (?)

deconditioning for years larping as a disabled baby grandmother.

One nipple's fishin and the other one's lookin for worms

The big
pulpy self harm mess in your underwear

"If I don't look at a naked man at least once daily, I cannot function properly."

I could almost swear I smelled rotting flesh coming outta my phone.

she hopes he can hear it over the sound of all the pussy in florida

like the Bogdanoff’s long lost little sister

she has gone full retard (well... fuller retard).

Unless he's upset his son is a bottom, which is understandable

drove him back to the arms of ADHD medication and sweet momma Kratom

Tel-Aviv Twink Ben Shapiro's hairline running away faster than Usain Bolt

To be fair it's pretty easy to body a guy who already let other men fuck his wife.

they need as much cum as they can to make more chinese people to power the lucrative chinese car accident footage industry

Try having a crush on someone who didn’t kill young poc men. Jeffrey Dahmer was a worthless shithead.

this dude really wrote "MORPHINE" in sharpie on the pill bottle.

If you ever post a picture of your medicine cabinet on the internet, you're supposed to stick a pack of magnum XL condoms right in the middle

Well a black father isn't believable and we're already pushing it with the mermaids.

They should have said I was running a cock-fighting ring, because that would have been believed (note, I do not run a cock-fighting ring, I just raise chickens, okay)?

The top of the dress isn't even touching anything because her tits are in the 2nd dimension.

looks ready for backwards baseball caps, shirtless barbecues and all manner of gender euphoric real dood activity.

e.g. enter "vagina from:jordanbpeterson" in the search box

She is in a vortex of heterosexuality that she will never be able to escape.

Nah, I got permabanned from Reddit for telling Troons they are not women.

imaginary absorbed twin is cringing about this ridiculous outburst.

He's just a deist with extra steps.

if your stinky pooner is more than 5 years on T get her to the vet ASAP before her boi-uterus ruptures.

a bereft Pooner refusing to leave its fallen Alice's side like a faithful dog remaining by its master's grave.

I've seen healthier looking hospice patients.

new disabled baby grandma cosplay chair.

all 18 of her nasolabial folds fell out the bottom of the filter.

Used to be when you're the town idiot and/or drunk you were confined to your town. Now the entire world is your town through the miracle of the Intermawebs and people can throw change at you to watch you deep throat a salami from the safety and comfort of their own homes.

bored stay-at-home house-enby

his enboy-wife of ~15 years is being creampied every night with a cannibal's AIDs-ridden ghost-spunk in xyr ghost-vagina.

Here's some advice to any protestors in Canada: stop being Canadian.

mock-German neopronouns and all

That man is clearly homosexual. That man clearly takes balls to the face every day.

This fanfic threw the first brick at Stonewall.

Step back and enjoy the fucking demon murder clowns.

Bitch is a spiteful bug-eyed moron.

I love how on top of all of this moralising about how ackshually, Germany literally loves eugenics and murdering people and everyone is a Nazi, staph is the quintessential stereotype of the fat white Yank who has never left America or even travelled cross-country who probably refers to the entire continent of Europe as though it's a country. then, on top of THAT, I keep forgetting this fucking fic is going to be about JEFF DAHMER!!! I feel like I've literally taken a blow to the head. she's really outdone herself this time.

speaking of disabilities, learn to use paragraphs correctly, staph, you illiterate wet wipe. trying to chip through this giant text of wall while already having to deal with made-up pronouns and entire sentences in a language the author has admitted she can't understand is nightmare enough!

Shut the fuck up, you posh trail of slime.

This environment has never been better for keeping people in check, because you don't need black vans to take people away. You just need terminal, disposable retards on social media. And there are countless numbers of them.

Drinking before lunch is like wearing sweatpants in public - it's basically an announcement to the world that you've given up.

you could even do a DIY cremation with just a pestle and mortar.

Someone told him grey Jersey jogging pants make your dick look big and he's waiting patiently for it to work.

They are shit drivers and will never travel that far without crashing anyways. Your border is simply…the distance it requires to fall asleep at the wheel.

*movie trailer voice*

"It takes a skitzo..."

"... to diagnose a skitzo"

Yeah just put all those monkeys out of a job, fuck them right? It's not like there is a monkey unemployment they can draw.

Are quadruple amputations only allowed to be performed by surgeons who are themselves quadruple amputees?

The Aryan wet dream woman is a tranny!

OnlyCrips adjacent content

How come white hispanics want to be brown so bad and the brown ones larp as white nationalists

thanks, staph - this really clears things up! OBVIOUSLY feruvir is a feruvel gendervir

I'd seriously rather watch videos of people dying in industrial accidents

Russell Greer’s sexy concentration camp dance party scene

MOGAI is where communication goes to die.

What the fuck is a liom? Flerval flavur florvul ferbir flaxom gerber gardevoir fuck.

We're grading on the swarthoid scale with Spaniards at the top Italians in the middle and Greeks at the bottom.

he's just playing it totally straight, rapping along to a 10-year-old Macklemore song while he toddles side to side. Wow.

Ukranian refugees have been horrified at the NHS waiting times we put up with

you have a vagina, and that did not penetrate Dahmer’s asscrack

Dry humping her imaginary friend made her happy cry..

If he just stuck to sucking the feet of prostitutes he would have been fine.

a faggot who's found a mincier faggot to be his arsewife

Why does squishy hitler wear such tiny shorts?

like a perpetually horny Gollum in a wheelchair

Call that shit the Hunchback of Portland

that comedy dancing is not the choice of a sober mind

ike they're some sort of Helen of Troy, but ugly and autistic.

Bix nood, land and 3 busses, mup da doo didda, vandalism, bidda be muhfugga, racism bux

I ended up on the Attack on Titan reddit looking for George Floyd memes

 

[LurkTrawl]

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is the only basis for a system of government.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

I wonder how she would react to seeing girls twerking and farting for simps online?

Intense hand rubbing.

He could be wielding god tier power....oh wait he poops his pants lol

 

[Meat Target]

We totally should be scared of him, though. This jiggling mountain of jellified fat is totally our final boss.

 

[Overly Serious]

He had viewed the videos using a router, which gave him access to the dark web, a court heard

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

It looks like a lion, monkey, and rat were radioactively morphed together to form a mutant hybrid abomination of a creature, and must be destroyed with fire immediately to avoid infecting anyone else

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

The two types of current year™ women :
-Man
-Fat

 

[Zero Day Defense]

I learned a long time ago to never trust a person without eyebrows.

 

[Tanuki Mixed Nuts]